Do those two words define you? Not just describe but really define your life? Does the phrase - stop and smell the roses - totally irritate you? Are you part of the great - I'm too busy - horde? OK... stop for just a moment and look at your life. WHAT are you busy doing? Does what you do provide challenge, adventure, pleasure, learning, creativity, etc. to your day? IF it does then you are blessed. IF it doesn't then you need to take stock at where you are now and where you'd prefer to be. And... how to get to where you want to be.
If you are too busy to analyze then I venture to say you don't want to look at your options. And before you cry 'foul', seriously consider your reasons about analyzing and options. We always, always, always have options. But... is that the problem - you don't see your options? And, analyzing simply intensifies your helpless feeling? Yes, you have responsibilities. Yes, you have obligations. but Yes, you have options. However, to take the risk to analyze and then to risk to develop options and then to risk to act on your decision... is a big risk. But is there any other option to analyze? The decision is whether we're willing to pay the price of change or the price of staying with the status quo.
Change is a risk, is a potential problem. But not making a change is a risk, a potential problem. Both will cost you something but can you go on indefinitely only 'going through the motions'? Meaninglessness is really a high price to pay. And all the unhappiness you are experiencing becomes intensified when life holds little or no joy. Most of us can endure anything for a short time, but if it is the standard and you see no way out then sometimes being too busy is an armor, a weird protection.
If you delight in being too busy... why? What is happening for you that makes this a preferred lifestyle? Do you hear yourself saying things like: when I have time I'll... or, I'd love to do (fill in the blank) but I really don't have any free time... or, sounds like fun - I'll do it when there is more time. Reality says that the hoped for upcoming 'free time' never comes. Make the decision to look at what's asking to be considered and what's stopping you - is TOO busy dictating, what owns your life?
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Cheerleader
No, not the pom, pom thing. Perhaps I should have used the word - encourager instead. My point is - do you have someone in your life that's your cheerleader? A cheerleader, an encourager is someone who is supportive, who pats you on your back when you do something. And the pat on the back doesn't need to be for something outstanding, it can be for any reason.
An encourager is not someone who looks at you through rose colored glasses. They see and know your faults probably as well as you but they prefer to 'accent the positive'. They are typically always there with an encouraging word or some positive action. My Mom was my cheerleader and was always supportive, telling me I could do (whatever it was that I thought I wanted). The 'you can do it' attitude by others is typically a strong support about your own willingness to continue. However I would suggest that trust of the encourager is undoubtedly the most important attribute.
Are you a cheerleader? There are some requirements, conditions for you as an encourager. 1- Your behavior can't provide mixed messages - support one moment and criticism the next. Until asked, an encourager does not provide unsolicited comments. You encourage or you say nothing. 2- Your words of encouragement have to be 'real', genuine. What you say has to be believable. And 3- if you are an encourager, there has to be a basis in relationship. Simply saying 'good job' to someone who is only an acquaintance may be positive but if you are family or friends, the impact is greater.
Whether or not you have someone in your life that provides encouragement for you, are you/do you provide encouragement for others? Encouragement can't be off hand comments. You have to believe what you are saying. To encourage, according to Webster, means: to inspire with courage, spirit or hope. Listen to your words... does this define what you say?
An encourager is not someone who looks at you through rose colored glasses. They see and know your faults probably as well as you but they prefer to 'accent the positive'. They are typically always there with an encouraging word or some positive action. My Mom was my cheerleader and was always supportive, telling me I could do (whatever it was that I thought I wanted). The 'you can do it' attitude by others is typically a strong support about your own willingness to continue. However I would suggest that trust of the encourager is undoubtedly the most important attribute.
Are you a cheerleader? There are some requirements, conditions for you as an encourager. 1- Your behavior can't provide mixed messages - support one moment and criticism the next. Until asked, an encourager does not provide unsolicited comments. You encourage or you say nothing. 2- Your words of encouragement have to be 'real', genuine. What you say has to be believable. And 3- if you are an encourager, there has to be a basis in relationship. Simply saying 'good job' to someone who is only an acquaintance may be positive but if you are family or friends, the impact is greater.
Whether or not you have someone in your life that provides encouragement for you, are you/do you provide encouragement for others? Encouragement can't be off hand comments. You have to believe what you are saying. To encourage, according to Webster, means: to inspire with courage, spirit or hope. Listen to your words... does this define what you say?
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Temptation
Let's face it - we all are open to being tempted on some level in some area(s). None of us are impervious to temptation. The issue isn't the existence of temptation but what do we do when confronted with it. How do we respond to temptation? Do we capitulate and just give in to it, even when we know it will ultimately result in something unfortunate for ourselves? Do we stand fast? And what happens when we do give in?
If we stand fast - how do we respond then? With a large 'whew'? Falling for pride that we stood fast? Thankfulness to the Lord that He saw us through it? There is always, lurking, a new temptation. But it really is the initial reaction - do we overcome or are we being overcome by the temptation - that begins the cascade. Standing fast is a confidence builder that we have overcome - however... don't be fooled, most temptations will make a new attempt.
The part you must realize is that temptation is not an 'oops', not a mistake - we all know when we are giving in to the temptation but we proceed anyway. Sometimes we proceed somewhat sheepishly... or sneakily... but a temptation is always embraced. And there is no... 'I didn't realize...' Actually we do, we just don't want to acknowledge our actions. And once in the midst of temptation... what do we do?
There are 2 scriptures that, for me, speak to this problem we face - Hebrews 2:17-18 and 4:14-15. Hebrews tells us that fortunately we have a promise in that Jesus has been tempted in all the areas we are and still is without sin. And further that He ever lives to make intercession for us. Knowing that He understands, though not approving, gives great comfort. Then He tells us (4:16) to come boldly to the throne to find help. He always helps us through into overcoming.
If we stand fast - how do we respond then? With a large 'whew'? Falling for pride that we stood fast? Thankfulness to the Lord that He saw us through it? There is always, lurking, a new temptation. But it really is the initial reaction - do we overcome or are we being overcome by the temptation - that begins the cascade. Standing fast is a confidence builder that we have overcome - however... don't be fooled, most temptations will make a new attempt.
The part you must realize is that temptation is not an 'oops', not a mistake - we all know when we are giving in to the temptation but we proceed anyway. Sometimes we proceed somewhat sheepishly... or sneakily... but a temptation is always embraced. And there is no... 'I didn't realize...' Actually we do, we just don't want to acknowledge our actions. And once in the midst of temptation... what do we do?
There are 2 scriptures that, for me, speak to this problem we face - Hebrews 2:17-18 and 4:14-15. Hebrews tells us that fortunately we have a promise in that Jesus has been tempted in all the areas we are and still is without sin. And further that He ever lives to make intercession for us. Knowing that He understands, though not approving, gives great comfort. Then He tells us (4:16) to come boldly to the throne to find help. He always helps us through into overcoming.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
What matters is people...
Do you think a more trite title could have been used? If the title sounds a bit like Barbra Streisand's extremely popular song, "People", from the distant past then the similarities are entirely accidental. This phrase is one of those 'givens' that we don't think about that much. Mistake. People populate our lives in so many ways and impact on our decision making - both good and bad. And if that last statement sounded somewhat 'duh'-ish I suppose it's true. But how we 'treat' people does makes a statement.
When you think about it... how do people figure in your life? A very basic question is: how do you value people? Are others to be merely tolerated, are they to be 'used', encouraged, involved, etc.? Do you even want others to impact your life? If your answer to this last question is a resounding 'no' then I suggest you either rethink your stand or decide to become a hermit because as long as there are people around you, they will impact your life.
You have to admit that people enrich our lives. People bring to us new ways of thinking, ideas we may not have previously considered, and so many other considerations. To me, the question really is us - how we interact with others, how we touch and allow ourselves to be touched by others. There are so many factors that determine how we react, primarily based in our experiences. But we can't use experience as our excuse for treating others badly - what was is not always what is or what should be.
I really do like people... though I may not be all that enamored with what they do and say. Then again, I'm not always enamored with what I do and say. I do believe that we all should react to one another based on the Golden Rule. But I also believe that even if others don't treat me this way, I need to react to them based on my standard. Lashing out simply because I was lashed out at rarely accomplishes more than escalating the situation. We don't know why they reacted in that way... perhaps we should give them the benefit of the doubt. Yes?
When you think about it... how do people figure in your life? A very basic question is: how do you value people? Are others to be merely tolerated, are they to be 'used', encouraged, involved, etc.? Do you even want others to impact your life? If your answer to this last question is a resounding 'no' then I suggest you either rethink your stand or decide to become a hermit because as long as there are people around you, they will impact your life.
You have to admit that people enrich our lives. People bring to us new ways of thinking, ideas we may not have previously considered, and so many other considerations. To me, the question really is us - how we interact with others, how we touch and allow ourselves to be touched by others. There are so many factors that determine how we react, primarily based in our experiences. But we can't use experience as our excuse for treating others badly - what was is not always what is or what should be.
I really do like people... though I may not be all that enamored with what they do and say. Then again, I'm not always enamored with what I do and say. I do believe that we all should react to one another based on the Golden Rule. But I also believe that even if others don't treat me this way, I need to react to them based on my standard. Lashing out simply because I was lashed out at rarely accomplishes more than escalating the situation. We don't know why they reacted in that way... perhaps we should give them the benefit of the doubt. Yes?
Sunday, February 19, 2012
... because
For me, it's all about the 'because'. The because is the why, the reason for the response/reaction to what you've just said, did, want to do. Without the because there's no real understanding. I suspect I can blame my parents for this predilection - they always included the reason when disallowing something. And they always made certain that I understood why - not simply acceded to their wishes.
I 'always' try and remember that training and provide a 'because' when I say 'no' to something. Because can also sound like, 'because...???' when I use it to understand the motivation of the person making the request/statement. Because really does have a variety of uses dependent upon the inflection when speaking the word. However, in the midst of all this, the word is not the reason. The 'because I said so' has no attendant understanding.
But I'm really using the word in this context as explaining - why. Why's explanations give us understanding and learning. I've discovered that the more certain the person is of why they are saying 'no' the more willing they are to give their reasons. I've simultaneously discovered that those who really have no logical reason and/or simply want to exert their dominance typically respond to my 'why?' with anger.
'Because' always forces us to be aware of why we are doing what we are doing. Our response to because makes us consider options and alternatives prior to acting. Simply... because can be a check for us to be positive we have done sufficient planning. Another person asking questions can be part of our checklist - not necessarily a challenge to our why.
I 'always' try and remember that training and provide a 'because' when I say 'no' to something. Because can also sound like, 'because...???' when I use it to understand the motivation of the person making the request/statement. Because really does have a variety of uses dependent upon the inflection when speaking the word. However, in the midst of all this, the word is not the reason. The 'because I said so' has no attendant understanding.
But I'm really using the word in this context as explaining - why. Why's explanations give us understanding and learning. I've discovered that the more certain the person is of why they are saying 'no' the more willing they are to give their reasons. I've simultaneously discovered that those who really have no logical reason and/or simply want to exert their dominance typically respond to my 'why?' with anger.
'Because' always forces us to be aware of why we are doing what we are doing. Our response to because makes us consider options and alternatives prior to acting. Simply... because can be a check for us to be positive we have done sufficient planning. Another person asking questions can be part of our checklist - not necessarily a challenge to our why.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
NOW!!!
Generally speaking (whatever that really means) I do like now thinking and, generally, acting on the 'now'. Part of my reason is that I know I am/have 'now' since I'm in it - I don't know about later or tomorrow and yesterday is my source for understanding and knowing but now.... now has all the uncertainty and excitement associated with the unknown. But... it also has all the excitement and promise that I'll be able to experience and savor.
Perhaps you think that this is a frivolous discussion but before you cast too many aspersions, think about it. How often do we live in the now, in the present and how often are we waiting for... later or remembering yesterday? Both activities have their place but I would contend that way too much time is spent in tomorrow or yesterday. One of the main reasons is, this way we don't have to deal with the current problems, issues, pains.
Living in the moment requires a level of attention that goes beyond the norm. To be able to extract all you can from the now means that you need to be fully engaged. This is definitely not an observe, a watch from the sidelines. It's an involved, sometimes skinning your knees, joy and sadness filled embrace. The effort is really worth it because it begins to enhance your tomorrows with the knowledge and understand you gain.
Now really is all it's cracked up to be even if you don't know what may happen next. Next is associated with now but it's dependent upon now. Now stands alone. It's an is. It's potential... it's promise... it's unknown. It's laughter and tears and success and loss and all you hope it will be and fear it might be. It's now.
Perhaps you think that this is a frivolous discussion but before you cast too many aspersions, think about it. How often do we live in the now, in the present and how often are we waiting for... later or remembering yesterday? Both activities have their place but I would contend that way too much time is spent in tomorrow or yesterday. One of the main reasons is, this way we don't have to deal with the current problems, issues, pains.
Living in the moment requires a level of attention that goes beyond the norm. To be able to extract all you can from the now means that you need to be fully engaged. This is definitely not an observe, a watch from the sidelines. It's an involved, sometimes skinning your knees, joy and sadness filled embrace. The effort is really worth it because it begins to enhance your tomorrows with the knowledge and understand you gain.
Now really is all it's cracked up to be even if you don't know what may happen next. Next is associated with now but it's dependent upon now. Now stands alone. It's an is. It's potential... it's promise... it's unknown. It's laughter and tears and success and loss and all you hope it will be and fear it might be. It's now.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Perfection...ist
Are you one of those? Are you a perfectionist? In everything? In certain 'important' areas only? Do you ever 'settle' for less? How much does being a perfectionist control you? And, most importantly, who defines what perfection is for you? Sometimes I think that it isn't a problem being a perfectionist as much as it is a problem dealing with those people and situation who aren't.
I grew up with the saying that... "if it's worth doing then it's worth doing well." I really have no idea who initially created that saying but if you are like me, you are stuck with that approach to life. I have no option but to do the absolute best I can in any given situation or decide to opt out of any involvement. And if you start an involvement you are pretty well stuck at following it through to completion. It really is an all or nothing at all approach.
One of the definitions of perfectionism is that anything short of perfection is unacceptable. Actually Webster defines the word in terms of perfection of moral character, which constitutes a person's highest good. That definition does elevate the word and it personalizes it at the same time. This gives one both a sense of comfort as well as a responsibility.
If I've been unclear then let me say that I do value the perfectionist' attitude and approach toward life. The issue really is whether I accept this as my personal philosophy and/or expect the same from others. Perhaps that's where problems arise. We really can't expect others to act from this philosophical base. Besides, we don't know their definitions. However, the true test is whether or not we are able to forgive ourselves when we don't live up to our own standard. We can be disappointed that we didn't but we have to move on. Remember... if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
I grew up with the saying that... "if it's worth doing then it's worth doing well." I really have no idea who initially created that saying but if you are like me, you are stuck with that approach to life. I have no option but to do the absolute best I can in any given situation or decide to opt out of any involvement. And if you start an involvement you are pretty well stuck at following it through to completion. It really is an all or nothing at all approach.
One of the definitions of perfectionism is that anything short of perfection is unacceptable. Actually Webster defines the word in terms of perfection of moral character, which constitutes a person's highest good. That definition does elevate the word and it personalizes it at the same time. This gives one both a sense of comfort as well as a responsibility.
If I've been unclear then let me say that I do value the perfectionist' attitude and approach toward life. The issue really is whether I accept this as my personal philosophy and/or expect the same from others. Perhaps that's where problems arise. We really can't expect others to act from this philosophical base. Besides, we don't know their definitions. However, the true test is whether or not we are able to forgive ourselves when we don't live up to our own standard. We can be disappointed that we didn't but we have to move on. Remember... if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Overcomer
Are you an overcomer? Or... are you in the state of overcoming? There is a promise for us if we contend to overcome. (Revelations 21:7) "He who overcomes shall inherit all things and I will be his God and he shall be My son." Now that is a promise worth contending for! But... if the flesh gets hold of this then it will whine away resolve. Because, bottom line, you have to contend, to resolve to overcome. Losing appears to be the opposite of overcome - not a state that one would choose.
Though everyone knows what overcoming is (winning), defining it does put a period on what we are discussing. Overcome according to Webster means: surmount (get the better of), conquer, defeat, prevail, triumph.Those are all strong words and basically mean that you are the victor not the defeated. I especially like the word - triumph - because it means that in the face of obstacles, I have found a way to victory. We are all in a battle - daily. When it comes to our emotions and feelings, this means that they aren't controlling us. When it comes to the mind it means that we discover options, alternatives to the dilemma.
Past success in overcoming rarely last long enough. It seems that when one battle is completed, another rises to the surface. The reason for this, in my opinion, is that we are all in a state of becoming. Becoming is a condition of improving oneself, of growing/maturing. All this is 'good' but all this takes time, commitment, and dedication. Yes, we all slip but the point is - do we get up, dust ourselves off, and continue.?
When you consider the verse in Revelations, overcoming takes on an even greater significance. In this case we are talking about both the here and now as well as the future. Personally I don't believe we are asked to choose between them. We need to focus on both simultaneously because when you really consider - our now actions have ramifications about our future. This should not be viewed as a scary thing, that God is just waiting to zap us when we make a mistake. Quite the contrary - He's our greatest cheerleader and when we slip, once we turn again to Him - we are empowered by His grace and favor again as He helps us overcome.
Though everyone knows what overcoming is (winning), defining it does put a period on what we are discussing. Overcome according to Webster means: surmount (get the better of), conquer, defeat, prevail, triumph.Those are all strong words and basically mean that you are the victor not the defeated. I especially like the word - triumph - because it means that in the face of obstacles, I have found a way to victory. We are all in a battle - daily. When it comes to our emotions and feelings, this means that they aren't controlling us. When it comes to the mind it means that we discover options, alternatives to the dilemma.
Past success in overcoming rarely last long enough. It seems that when one battle is completed, another rises to the surface. The reason for this, in my opinion, is that we are all in a state of becoming. Becoming is a condition of improving oneself, of growing/maturing. All this is 'good' but all this takes time, commitment, and dedication. Yes, we all slip but the point is - do we get up, dust ourselves off, and continue.?
When you consider the verse in Revelations, overcoming takes on an even greater significance. In this case we are talking about both the here and now as well as the future. Personally I don't believe we are asked to choose between them. We need to focus on both simultaneously because when you really consider - our now actions have ramifications about our future. This should not be viewed as a scary thing, that God is just waiting to zap us when we make a mistake. Quite the contrary - He's our greatest cheerleader and when we slip, once we turn again to Him - we are empowered by His grace and favor again as He helps us overcome.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
When I grow up...
I don't know what you think, but I'm not convinced that anyone knows when one hits the magic 'grown up' status. Is it a particular age? Is it automatic? How do you know what it is when no one can really define it? That magic achieved grown up status is individually defined and since it rarely is, then one can declare (to oneself) grown up status is attained whenever one desires to do so.? And... is it really that important?
The older I get the more I ask myself that last question - a: is this possible (defined as, is it worth it) and b: do I care? The answer to a: is... it depends on your definition of 'grow up' and the answer to b: is - depends on the moment, but basically I think I'm as grown up as I need or want to be. As long as imagination and creativity aren't hampered, then growing up is a plus. But, I think 'growing up' is an add on. And it's all about presentation.
How you present yourself to the world seems to be the main 'judge' as to whether you are grown up or not. Somewhat arbitrary to my thinking. Let's face it - we all do/say stupid things at times which would give lie to the 'grown up' status. There are so many aspects that really go into a definition but if I had to define the status I would say that the primary indicators are: do you take responsibility for your own actions? How do you relate to others? What do you do when face with a crisis? And, what's your attitude about...?
For me, a great component is how I look at learning. I know I am not the source of all wisdom, never will be so I can never grow up in this area. It doesn't mean that I should stop learning, discovering... quite the contrary. When it comes to wisdom you have to continuously 'grow up'. I should also add - speaking the truth in love. Truth and love are mates and you can't separate them for your own advantage. I suspect that much of what I would include can be summed up in one word - character. What is and how does that present your you?
The older I get the more I ask myself that last question - a: is this possible (defined as, is it worth it) and b: do I care? The answer to a: is... it depends on your definition of 'grow up' and the answer to b: is - depends on the moment, but basically I think I'm as grown up as I need or want to be. As long as imagination and creativity aren't hampered, then growing up is a plus. But, I think 'growing up' is an add on. And it's all about presentation.
How you present yourself to the world seems to be the main 'judge' as to whether you are grown up or not. Somewhat arbitrary to my thinking. Let's face it - we all do/say stupid things at times which would give lie to the 'grown up' status. There are so many aspects that really go into a definition but if I had to define the status I would say that the primary indicators are: do you take responsibility for your own actions? How do you relate to others? What do you do when face with a crisis? And, what's your attitude about...?
For me, a great component is how I look at learning. I know I am not the source of all wisdom, never will be so I can never grow up in this area. It doesn't mean that I should stop learning, discovering... quite the contrary. When it comes to wisdom you have to continuously 'grow up'. I should also add - speaking the truth in love. Truth and love are mates and you can't separate them for your own advantage. I suspect that much of what I would include can be summed up in one word - character. What is and how does that present your you?
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Words... fruit???
Have you ever considered your words as fruit? Before you think me completely daft, stop and consider. The words that you speak do produce - they produce feelings and thoughts in the people you are speaking to. The response from others give evidence of the kind of fruit we produce. Feelings and thoughts are the fruits from your words. So what kind of fruit are you producing - good, bad, rotten, healthy????
In Luke 6:43-45 Jesus talks about fruit and that we are known by our fruit. Do our words produce the fruit of hurt feelings? the light bulb of understanding? Were they words of sarcasm, encouragement, spiteful, uplifting, etc.? In another place in scripture we are told that we will give an accounting for the words we speak (Matthew 12:36). And still in another place it talks about the tongue not being tamed (James 3:6-10). All this says, to me, that we need to listen to what we say. Minimally it will tell us if we are communicating what we intend to.
I've always been impressed with the scripture that indicates God's view, the tremendous importance He places on words when He says that His words always produce what He sends them to do - they never come back void (Isaiah 55:11). We need to give that kind of importance to our words. What kind of fruit are you producing? Luke 6:43 assures us that a good tree does not bear bad fruit nor the reverse. The other point is that we are known by our own fruit. (6:44) that a grape vine we won't produce apples nor will a orange tree produce figs. This should 'logically' lead us to consider how and what we say.
We really need to look at the impact, the affect of our words. As I've said, our words give evidence of the kind of fruit we produce. The basis of our evidence really is our heart. Luke 6:45 tells us that "...out of the abundance of the heart (his) mouth speaks." Are our words light? Do they speak truth? Do you see what your words are producing? What are we speaking? Good treasure or bad? Listen to your words... you'll see your fruit.
In Luke 6:43-45 Jesus talks about fruit and that we are known by our fruit. Do our words produce the fruit of hurt feelings? the light bulb of understanding? Were they words of sarcasm, encouragement, spiteful, uplifting, etc.? In another place in scripture we are told that we will give an accounting for the words we speak (Matthew 12:36). And still in another place it talks about the tongue not being tamed (James 3:6-10). All this says, to me, that we need to listen to what we say. Minimally it will tell us if we are communicating what we intend to.
I've always been impressed with the scripture that indicates God's view, the tremendous importance He places on words when He says that His words always produce what He sends them to do - they never come back void (Isaiah 55:11). We need to give that kind of importance to our words. What kind of fruit are you producing? Luke 6:43 assures us that a good tree does not bear bad fruit nor the reverse. The other point is that we are known by our own fruit. (6:44) that a grape vine we won't produce apples nor will a orange tree produce figs. This should 'logically' lead us to consider how and what we say.
We really need to look at the impact, the affect of our words. As I've said, our words give evidence of the kind of fruit we produce. The basis of our evidence really is our heart. Luke 6:45 tells us that "...out of the abundance of the heart (his) mouth speaks." Are our words light? Do they speak truth? Do you see what your words are producing? What are we speaking? Good treasure or bad? Listen to your words... you'll see your fruit.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Assumptions
get us into a lot of trouble - yes? Yes. And yet we all continue to operate this way. Why? Easy answer - because we're trying to have order in our lives and with as little stress and strain on us as possible. Even the most illogical person needs to be able to rely on certain patterns, tendencies, and 'characteristics' that provide a method to interacting. Unfortunately, while assumptions can assist they can also mislead.
There's a wonderful comment in my favorite Britcom when the actor misquotes by saying, "Assumptions doth make fools of us all." This is all too true. And while we experience problems when we do assume, and while we sometimes get in a world of hurt when we act on our assumptions... still we continue. It really isn't a 'death' wish, it's just faster and easier to make and act on assumptions. But what if we didn't? What would happen to our 'ordered' world? Chaos? What would replace assuming? Because we humans really don't like voids so we fill them as soon as we can regardless of whether the replacement is better or worse.
We humans do tend to dislike and/or not function well outside of the order we create. Order provides meaning and it provides structure and as much as we decry both - we also seek it to provide us with our 'frame of reference'. And this is not bad... in and of itself. The danger comes when our assumptions are wrong - what do we do with this? One option is to continue regardless of what is happening but this is typically ineffective. Another option is to replace with a new model. Is there a third?
I'm convinced that we need to be more sensitive to change - others as well as our own. You change all the time, perhaps not on the significant issues but you, consciously or not, are continually making little adjustments, tweaks to how you respond to your environment - as do others. The same exists in our interpersonal relationships - we need to be more sensitive to changes in others. Static is not a condition anyone lives in.
There's a wonderful comment in my favorite Britcom when the actor misquotes by saying, "Assumptions doth make fools of us all." This is all too true. And while we experience problems when we do assume, and while we sometimes get in a world of hurt when we act on our assumptions... still we continue. It really isn't a 'death' wish, it's just faster and easier to make and act on assumptions. But what if we didn't? What would happen to our 'ordered' world? Chaos? What would replace assuming? Because we humans really don't like voids so we fill them as soon as we can regardless of whether the replacement is better or worse.
We humans do tend to dislike and/or not function well outside of the order we create. Order provides meaning and it provides structure and as much as we decry both - we also seek it to provide us with our 'frame of reference'. And this is not bad... in and of itself. The danger comes when our assumptions are wrong - what do we do with this? One option is to continue regardless of what is happening but this is typically ineffective. Another option is to replace with a new model. Is there a third?
I'm convinced that we need to be more sensitive to change - others as well as our own. You change all the time, perhaps not on the significant issues but you, consciously or not, are continually making little adjustments, tweaks to how you respond to your environment - as do others. The same exists in our interpersonal relationships - we need to be more sensitive to changes in others. Static is not a condition anyone lives in.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Battle
We're all engaged in battles. Some life threatening and some only annoying - but a battle is a battle. I do have a question though - are you in the battle to win? Or are you a 'grin and bear it', stiff upper lip type? Or perhaps you feel that there's no hope of 'winning' so you are just hoping to stay even? Your attitude toward battles is critical and determines much of whether your experiences are win, lose, or draw.
An important point is that I'm not referring to battles with other people - you really should never do that in the first place. No one ever really wins in those confrontations. The results regardless of win/lose/draw are typically always irreversible and never pleasant - even if you 'win'. The battles I'm talking about are primarily with yourself and with ideas, methods, principles, etc. I would suggest, only slightly tongue-in-cheek, that if you aren't in a current battle or just emerging from one or getting ready to engage the 'enemy' that you are living a compromised life. Yes, harsh but is it accurate?
I believe that battles are rarely a surprise so there's typically time to plan, to prepare. There's a scripture that talks about the fact that a good leader never goes into a battle without considering all the possible consequences and without being as thoroughly prepared as possible (Luke 14:31). You? Granted you might not be able to win every battle, but you might be able to mitigate the losses through careful planning.
I think that it is critical that you don't go to battle: 1- without a plan and 2- without the mindset of winning. Another point is that battles don't have to be devastating - the end result doesn't have to be annihilation. Your attitude and subsequent behavior goes a long way in terms of influencing the end. Last, recognize the problem and don't get caught in 'personalities'. Granted that many battles are ostensibly with/against other people, it's the underlying concepts that are the issue - not the people.
An important point is that I'm not referring to battles with other people - you really should never do that in the first place. No one ever really wins in those confrontations. The results regardless of win/lose/draw are typically always irreversible and never pleasant - even if you 'win'. The battles I'm talking about are primarily with yourself and with ideas, methods, principles, etc. I would suggest, only slightly tongue-in-cheek, that if you aren't in a current battle or just emerging from one or getting ready to engage the 'enemy' that you are living a compromised life. Yes, harsh but is it accurate?
I believe that battles are rarely a surprise so there's typically time to plan, to prepare. There's a scripture that talks about the fact that a good leader never goes into a battle without considering all the possible consequences and without being as thoroughly prepared as possible (Luke 14:31). You? Granted you might not be able to win every battle, but you might be able to mitigate the losses through careful planning.
I think that it is critical that you don't go to battle: 1- without a plan and 2- without the mindset of winning. Another point is that battles don't have to be devastating - the end result doesn't have to be annihilation. Your attitude and subsequent behavior goes a long way in terms of influencing the end. Last, recognize the problem and don't get caught in 'personalities'. Granted that many battles are ostensibly with/against other people, it's the underlying concepts that are the issue - not the people.
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