Do you focus on the 'what was', your 'new' or do you 'reinvent'? 'Re' means do again. Do you want to re-do? ...or do something new, something different, something that's always lurked at the back of your mind (and heart)? Do you harbor this little seed that you don't let grow because if it did, you know, with that knowing deep inside you, that who you would become is definitely different than who you are now? Are you out of balance with part of you wanting one thing and another part of you attempting to fulfill responsibilities... or are they only expectations?
Do you feel that you are not being 'true' to who you are? So what's stopping you from being you? Other than you, of course. And why? Is it a lack of trust of and in yourself? Do you always do what's expected of you... or at least as much as possible? Is it because you want others to like you and you're not certain they'll like this unknown new you? Or maybe you are being totally you and these questions aren't relevant. Regardless, how does 'reinvent' apply to you?
You can reinvent yourself into a truer who you are instead of having to act a part that's only partially you. Or perhaps it's all in the presentation so you really aren't reinventing yourself but you are reinventing how you present yourself. I somehow think we all go through times of reinventing ourselves - perhaps to
align with what is or is not happening in our lives. Reinventing is a form of coping because we all attempt to make sense of life.
The obvious question is - do other's see you as you see you or do you see you as other's see you? Two totally different mindsets. The second question is... do you care? I would argue that it is important. The first mindset lets you know if you are in sync with yourself and the second tells you if you need to be approved by others. Trying to balance differing views can be overwhelming. Your view of you and your world gives you a host of information about whether you need and/or want to reinvent life... as you see it.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Debt
I'm the type of person that really hates to owe anyone anything. I would rather hold off on a personal 'treat' than to have a debt hanging over my head. Maybe you aren't that way but in the back of your mind, until you do acquit your obligation, it will 'haunt' you. But have you ever found yourself in a position that there is no way you can ever repay? How do you respond to those people when you are in their presence? Guilt? Anger? Frustration? Embarrassment....? Gratitude? And I'm not merely talking about financial obligations.
How you respond to your responsibilities is one of the dimensions that identifies your character. Even more telling is how you respond to the other person until you have discharged your debt... and, how you continue to react to them. Our words and actions can give mixed messages, whether or not we acknowledge the debt and set about to fulfill the obligation we have. However, equally important is how we treat other people when they owe us. Do we expect 'favors' from them? Do we treat them less favorably? All this also is a dimension of character.
You do realize, don't you, that God, Jesus owe you absolutely nothing. You are the debtor, you are the one who owes everything to them. So, how do you interact with God? Fearfully? Stoically? With bravado? With gratitude? Avoiding.... Actually there are a variety of ways to react which underscores our interactions. How do you act as a debtor? Probably with a bit of discomfort but don't 'punish' God or the other person because you owe.
As long as we continue to interact with the Lord and acknowledge who we are and who He is, then we are 'righteous' in His eyes. When we sin - do we run to Him for forgiveness? When there is success, do we give Him the glory? Eventually, we all must come to that point and acknowledge that we will always be the debtor but that it's acceptable to the Lord - He knows. He only wants for our good. Will you, do you receive it knowing that you don't deserve it/you can't earn it... but it is for you?
How you respond to your responsibilities is one of the dimensions that identifies your character. Even more telling is how you respond to the other person until you have discharged your debt... and, how you continue to react to them. Our words and actions can give mixed messages, whether or not we acknowledge the debt and set about to fulfill the obligation we have. However, equally important is how we treat other people when they owe us. Do we expect 'favors' from them? Do we treat them less favorably? All this also is a dimension of character.
You do realize, don't you, that God, Jesus owe you absolutely nothing. You are the debtor, you are the one who owes everything to them. So, how do you interact with God? Fearfully? Stoically? With bravado? With gratitude? Avoiding.... Actually there are a variety of ways to react which underscores our interactions. How do you act as a debtor? Probably with a bit of discomfort but don't 'punish' God or the other person because you owe.
As long as we continue to interact with the Lord and acknowledge who we are and who He is, then we are 'righteous' in His eyes. When we sin - do we run to Him for forgiveness? When there is success, do we give Him the glory? Eventually, we all must come to that point and acknowledge that we will always be the debtor but that it's acceptable to the Lord - He knows. He only wants for our good. Will you, do you receive it knowing that you don't deserve it/you can't earn it... but it is for you?
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Plop
Is that what you're expecting? That whatever you need/want will somehow miraculously 'plop' into your lap? Do you secretly believe this? When you ask others to pray for you do you then simply abrogate your involvement or responsibilities since it's now their responsibility to pray for whatever you need/want? You might be surprised at how many people do act in those ways... but you? How do you respond?
The first thing that you have to appreciate is that God is not a God of plopping. One of the definitions of plop is: to place or set carelessly or hastily and God never acts carelessly or hastily - that is not His nature. Or do you think He should in your case? Do you deserve 'more'? Modestly you'd probably respond 'no' but when you ask God to act contrary to His character, that's precisely what you are saying - "show partiality in my case".
Do you realize how demanding of God we are that He fulfill His promises to us and yet how cavalier we are when it comes to honoring His requests - basically to love and forgive? Why do we assume and presume? Sometimes it's because we realize that God is the only one who can get us out of the predicament we got ourself into. We need His help. But unfortunately we basically give empty promises to entice God to help and ignore the 'conditions' - we rarely look at the entire verse we are standing on, we look only at what God will do.
But... seriously! Can you think of anything that doesn't come with conditions: either to receive (whatever) or after getting 'it'? I would say, and without fear of contradiction, that there is absolutely nothing that isn't connected with conditions and not just the empty promises on our part. Think about it... In some fashion you have to be involved and complete the requirement(s) - conditions, the rest of the verse. If you don't do your part why should God do His? He does, remember He first loved us.
The first thing that you have to appreciate is that God is not a God of plopping. One of the definitions of plop is: to place or set carelessly or hastily and God never acts carelessly or hastily - that is not His nature. Or do you think He should in your case? Do you deserve 'more'? Modestly you'd probably respond 'no' but when you ask God to act contrary to His character, that's precisely what you are saying - "show partiality in my case".
Do you realize how demanding of God we are that He fulfill His promises to us and yet how cavalier we are when it comes to honoring His requests - basically to love and forgive? Why do we assume and presume? Sometimes it's because we realize that God is the only one who can get us out of the predicament we got ourself into. We need His help. But unfortunately we basically give empty promises to entice God to help and ignore the 'conditions' - we rarely look at the entire verse we are standing on, we look only at what God will do.
But... seriously! Can you think of anything that doesn't come with conditions: either to receive (whatever) or after getting 'it'? I would say, and without fear of contradiction, that there is absolutely nothing that isn't connected with conditions and not just the empty promises on our part. Think about it... In some fashion you have to be involved and complete the requirement(s) - conditions, the rest of the verse. If you don't do your part why should God do His? He does, remember He first loved us.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Everybody is Somebody
This is not a fatuous comment. We don't always act on this fact that everybody is somebody. Even that We are somebody. We can become dismissive of this, especially when it's someone we think we know well - like family. I think it's critical to be involved in all conversations, not just listening with half your thinking. I learned very young, thank heavens, that though we think we can end someone's sentence or that we think we know what they are saying, that it isn't always so. We may be surprised.
When we act by finishing the sentence (even when we are right) or responding to only the first half of the sentence rather than allowing the speaker to finish, we diminish them and we may not be right in what the speaker says next. I believe that this mindset plus my interminable questions (to discover if what they are saying is what I heard) formed my basis for communication. It makes for a more stable foundational basis for understanding. And, understanding really IS all it's cracked up to be. It is so far superior than assuming.
It appears that sometimes we forget that those who have accepted Jesus as Lord are a new creation (2Corinthians 5:17). And if you are a new creation, so is your brother and sister in the Lord. We need a new paradigm and attempt to see others as God sees them - as Somebody. Equal. James 2:9 tells us that we can't show partiality and view one person higher than the other. Unfortunately we do.... for a variety of reasons, none justifiable.
Perhaps the reason we shouldn't engage in such thinking is that we end up missing who and what the person is. We are all unique with our own idiosyncrasies that add flavor and spice to who we are. If we don't take the time and opportunity to see the other person as somebody then we diminish them and also cheat ourselves.
When we act by finishing the sentence (even when we are right) or responding to only the first half of the sentence rather than allowing the speaker to finish, we diminish them and we may not be right in what the speaker says next. I believe that this mindset plus my interminable questions (to discover if what they are saying is what I heard) formed my basis for communication. It makes for a more stable foundational basis for understanding. And, understanding really IS all it's cracked up to be. It is so far superior than assuming.
It appears that sometimes we forget that those who have accepted Jesus as Lord are a new creation (2Corinthians 5:17). And if you are a new creation, so is your brother and sister in the Lord. We need a new paradigm and attempt to see others as God sees them - as Somebody. Equal. James 2:9 tells us that we can't show partiality and view one person higher than the other. Unfortunately we do.... for a variety of reasons, none justifiable.
Perhaps the reason we shouldn't engage in such thinking is that we end up missing who and what the person is. We are all unique with our own idiosyncrasies that add flavor and spice to who we are. If we don't take the time and opportunity to see the other person as somebody then we diminish them and also cheat ourselves.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Understanding
First... understanding is not agreement but it is the first step to know if there is communication. Are you hearing one another - actually, are you even listening? Are you speaking the same language (same words, same definitions)? Sometimes we discover we are using different words but meaning the same thing, thus the need to listen. Sometimes we discover we are using the same words but have different definitions, thus the need to listen. To agree you have to understand and to understand you have to listen. And to listen the speaker has to communicate. Both are responsible.
When I listen to you, I'm attempting to know your mindset, your frame of reference. If I don't want to know what it is you are saying and why then there's no point in listening. You can't listen in order to argue - that's equally pointless. You have to listen to understand. Once you have understanding then you can decide if you agree or not.
Assumptions is not a basis for understanding. In the first place, assumptions are based on your frame of reference not the other person. The problem is that either/both the speaker and listener could be operating from assumption of understanding. It is equally important for the speaker to be conscious of what they are saying as they are of what/how the listener seems to be hearing.
Communicating is also related to purpose. Why is the speaker saying what they are - providing content? attempting to influence? etc. - all of this needs consideration by both the speaker and listener. If my purpose is for you to understand what I'm saying then I will attempt to speak in a manner that includes you into the process. If all I'm doing is hearing myself talk then what's the purpose? But... never ask - 'what do you think?' unless you are ready to accept the response, it may not be what you expect.
When I listen to you, I'm attempting to know your mindset, your frame of reference. If I don't want to know what it is you are saying and why then there's no point in listening. You can't listen in order to argue - that's equally pointless. You have to listen to understand. Once you have understanding then you can decide if you agree or not.
Assumptions is not a basis for understanding. In the first place, assumptions are based on your frame of reference not the other person. The problem is that either/both the speaker and listener could be operating from assumption of understanding. It is equally important for the speaker to be conscious of what they are saying as they are of what/how the listener seems to be hearing.
Communicating is also related to purpose. Why is the speaker saying what they are - providing content? attempting to influence? etc. - all of this needs consideration by both the speaker and listener. If my purpose is for you to understand what I'm saying then I will attempt to speak in a manner that includes you into the process. If all I'm doing is hearing myself talk then what's the purpose? But... never ask - 'what do you think?' unless you are ready to accept the response, it may not be what you expect.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Game... Sidelines
There's a uplifting movie about a young man who wanted to play football for Notre Dame. Though he didn't appear to have the talent, that didn't deter him from pursuing his goal. If anything speaks to heart rather than performance, that movie's character does. Applying that thinking, you need to know that God wants us to run our race not sit on the sidelines. Being a cheerleader for others is good but even the cheerleaders go onto the field... And standing right beside you, the Father is cheering you on and telling you that you can do it.
The point is your heart. You have been designed as an integral 'player' and, as such, you have a race to run and assignments to fulfill. Maybe your role is one of the cheerleaders, at times, rather than always on the field, but at some time you'll need to be involved with your game. What does your heart tell you? Your heart will tell your head where you should be and your head needs to be as committed and tenacious as your heart. This is not a mindless running into places 'angels fear to tread' - that's an opportunity for disaster. While your heart can lead you, your head has to be involved.
Who is leading? Perhaps the question is: how are you being led? By your desires, by others? By... Are you in your game? Too many times we point to the lack of resources, or it isn't the right timing, or you feel you have no support as reasons why you are standing on the sidelines waiting for a more opportune moment. That may not necessarily be inaccurate but sometimes it is only an excuse. No one else has to be in your game other than you. Granted we generally do have others to work with, but it is always you who has to be involved.
Being on the sidelines is rarely satisfying, even when you may not see the goal or feel that you have been beaten down by 'events'. You do know that if you need to change, you can? Take a good look at your reality: are you equipped or do you need to make some changes? Making changes may turn the tide in your favor but if you only sit on the sidelines defeated - what have you gained? Win or lose it's being in the game and doing your utmost that provides the greatest sense of achievement.
The point is your heart. You have been designed as an integral 'player' and, as such, you have a race to run and assignments to fulfill. Maybe your role is one of the cheerleaders, at times, rather than always on the field, but at some time you'll need to be involved with your game. What does your heart tell you? Your heart will tell your head where you should be and your head needs to be as committed and tenacious as your heart. This is not a mindless running into places 'angels fear to tread' - that's an opportunity for disaster. While your heart can lead you, your head has to be involved.
Who is leading? Perhaps the question is: how are you being led? By your desires, by others? By... Are you in your game? Too many times we point to the lack of resources, or it isn't the right timing, or you feel you have no support as reasons why you are standing on the sidelines waiting for a more opportune moment. That may not necessarily be inaccurate but sometimes it is only an excuse. No one else has to be in your game other than you. Granted we generally do have others to work with, but it is always you who has to be involved.
Being on the sidelines is rarely satisfying, even when you may not see the goal or feel that you have been beaten down by 'events'. You do know that if you need to change, you can? Take a good look at your reality: are you equipped or do you need to make some changes? Making changes may turn the tide in your favor but if you only sit on the sidelines defeated - what have you gained? Win or lose it's being in the game and doing your utmost that provides the greatest sense of achievement.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Good
We are fond of quoting the scripture, "And we know all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28) But what do we really know... that we get our way? Or maybe we mean that we will not reap any negative problems or repercussions because of the situation we find ourselves in? That all will turn out good.... Do we really believe this? Or is this a 'hope' not a 'know'?
Did you see the 'conditions' associated with this knowing of the triumph of good? 1- Love God, 2- Called, and 3- His purpose. 1- We all say we love God. That's the start, but saying is not necessarily demonstrating. Would others, looking at you, know that you love God? Do your actions, as well as your words
demonstrate this? 2- If you've accepted Jesus then you are called, it becomes part of who you are. There are many scriptures that assure us of our status as called but my favorite is Romans 8:29-30 because it expands on the word. Foreknew, predestined, conformed, justified, glorified... this is how we are called. However, it is up to us to walk as the called. and 3- His purpose. This is where we must be grounded in that we are in His perfect will for us. When we are then all truly is good.
Good comes with a promise. We see in Galatians 6:9 that if we don't grow weary while doing good we shall reap if we do not lose heart. You can see then that when we accept Jesus as Lord we have been created to be as well as 'do' good. We can overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21). Good is now a power to exercise. Good is also a verb, an action.
What's your definition of 'good'? James tells us (1:17) that every (not some, e-v-e-r-y) good gift comes from the Father. So, when was the last time you thanked God for His latest gift to you? Or do you think you deserve (whatever it is)? We can too often become mindless and not realize what we have been and are given. But have you ever considered that every good gift is a present to you?! We deserve good... right? No. But we can live and walk in the good because Jesus has purchased it for us - the abundant life.
Did you see the 'conditions' associated with this knowing of the triumph of good? 1- Love God, 2- Called, and 3- His purpose. 1- We all say we love God. That's the start, but saying is not necessarily demonstrating. Would others, looking at you, know that you love God? Do your actions, as well as your words
demonstrate this? 2- If you've accepted Jesus then you are called, it becomes part of who you are. There are many scriptures that assure us of our status as called but my favorite is Romans 8:29-30 because it expands on the word. Foreknew, predestined, conformed, justified, glorified... this is how we are called. However, it is up to us to walk as the called. and 3- His purpose. This is where we must be grounded in that we are in His perfect will for us. When we are then all truly is good.
Good comes with a promise. We see in Galatians 6:9 that if we don't grow weary while doing good we shall reap if we do not lose heart. You can see then that when we accept Jesus as Lord we have been created to be as well as 'do' good. We can overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21). Good is now a power to exercise. Good is also a verb, an action.
What's your definition of 'good'? James tells us (1:17) that every (not some, e-v-e-r-y) good gift comes from the Father. So, when was the last time you thanked God for His latest gift to you? Or do you think you deserve (whatever it is)? We can too often become mindless and not realize what we have been and are given. But have you ever considered that every good gift is a present to you?! We deserve good... right? No. But we can live and walk in the good because Jesus has purchased it for us - the abundant life.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Finished
How are you in the completion department? Do you start 'things' but never finish them? Or do you always follow through? This is a character issue and speaks volumes. If you are only a starter then you need to rethink what you're doing... and why. If it was important to begin the project it is also important to complete it! Besides...if you don't finish your project, who will?
Many times you will read in an employment advertisement that the candidate needs to be a self starter. This really is important. But... equally (and in my book, more) important is whether or not you are a finisher. What do you do once the excitement and challenge of the beginning is accomplished and all that's remaining is the details to the completion? Many people will simply excuse themselves with a... "I'm not a detail person." Or is it an issue of difficulty? The particulars to be completed will require time and effort. If you aren't a finisher, why do you bother beginning?
How would you characterize yourself? Starter? Finisher? Both? If you aren't a finisher, do you know why? Will you ever know if the project was completed? Will the completion be based on the plan you made? Will you ever experience the excitement when the project is completed? If you are a finisher then you know the sense of pride you feel when your project is finished. If you're anything like me, at the point you are nearly finished your mind is beginning to create what the next project might be.
While starting, creating has its sense of accomplishment, the pleasure of knowing the project is about to begin; completing the project has its sense of accomplishment, pleasure. However, combined they provide a complete picture and a tremendous sense of satisfaction. If you aren't involved with the finish of the project as well as the start... how do you ever know the effectiveness of your plans and thoughts?
Many times you will read in an employment advertisement that the candidate needs to be a self starter. This really is important. But... equally (and in my book, more) important is whether or not you are a finisher. What do you do once the excitement and challenge of the beginning is accomplished and all that's remaining is the details to the completion? Many people will simply excuse themselves with a... "I'm not a detail person." Or is it an issue of difficulty? The particulars to be completed will require time and effort. If you aren't a finisher, why do you bother beginning?
How would you characterize yourself? Starter? Finisher? Both? If you aren't a finisher, do you know why? Will you ever know if the project was completed? Will the completion be based on the plan you made? Will you ever experience the excitement when the project is completed? If you are a finisher then you know the sense of pride you feel when your project is finished. If you're anything like me, at the point you are nearly finished your mind is beginning to create what the next project might be.
While starting, creating has its sense of accomplishment, the pleasure of knowing the project is about to begin; completing the project has its sense of accomplishment, pleasure. However, combined they provide a complete picture and a tremendous sense of satisfaction. If you aren't involved with the finish of the project as well as the start... how do you ever know the effectiveness of your plans and thoughts?
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Living as forgiven...
Do you live a forgiven life? This doesn't mean that you don't make mistakes but it is a mindset that requires you to walk as a person who is forgiven thus can't walk in the past errors. It also requires you to forgive others when they 'harm' you. I recently read that forgiving others... doesn't mean that what happened was OK or that the other person is welcome (still) into your world but what it does mean is that you have made peace with the pain and are ready to let it go. I have no idea who said this but it is a good working definition.
Living as forgiven means that you have to let go. You have to let go of your guilty feelings. Guilty feelings accomplish absolutely nothing unless they are associated with a concerted approach to never repeat the behavior and the attendant thinking that caused the behavior. Yes you were wrong but you can't afford the luxury of only feeling bad. You will need to use the experience to change - your thinking and your behavior. That is not the easiest thing to do.
Living forgiven means that you have to free the other person from what they did to you. Again you can't afford the luxury of holding a grudge. Besides, you are the one that is holding the excess baggage, the other person may not even know that you haven't forgiven them... or care. Your mental health is far more important. As long as you don't come to a resolution about moving on from what happened the more you will be held captive to that experience. If the other person is truly sorry for what happened then you have a basis to continue the relationship. But... if not, don't let it cripple you.
Living as forgiven is a mindset and it also must be behavior-based. Both are directed toward yourself and others. Once you realize and accept that you are forgiven it impacts so many other facets of your life. And it is visible. If you are living as forgiven then you are compassionate. Compassion, though definitely a feeling, is an action, a desire to relieve the situation for the benefit of the other person. You feel compassion which is translated into compassionate behavior. Living as forgiven is freeing and will lead you into a much different journey.
Living as forgiven means that you have to let go. You have to let go of your guilty feelings. Guilty feelings accomplish absolutely nothing unless they are associated with a concerted approach to never repeat the behavior and the attendant thinking that caused the behavior. Yes you were wrong but you can't afford the luxury of only feeling bad. You will need to use the experience to change - your thinking and your behavior. That is not the easiest thing to do.
Living forgiven means that you have to free the other person from what they did to you. Again you can't afford the luxury of holding a grudge. Besides, you are the one that is holding the excess baggage, the other person may not even know that you haven't forgiven them... or care. Your mental health is far more important. As long as you don't come to a resolution about moving on from what happened the more you will be held captive to that experience. If the other person is truly sorry for what happened then you have a basis to continue the relationship. But... if not, don't let it cripple you.
Living as forgiven is a mindset and it also must be behavior-based. Both are directed toward yourself and others. Once you realize and accept that you are forgiven it impacts so many other facets of your life. And it is visible. If you are living as forgiven then you are compassionate. Compassion, though definitely a feeling, is an action, a desire to relieve the situation for the benefit of the other person. You feel compassion which is translated into compassionate behavior. Living as forgiven is freeing and will lead you into a much different journey.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
The Lord hates...
Do you know what the Lord hates? Do you hate what He hates? Actually did you even know that God hates? He tells us plainly what He hates in Proverbs 6:16-19. First notice it's what not 'who' He hates. Scripture tells us that there are seven things that the Lord hates: a proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord.
Do you see these traits in others? Do they manifest in your life? Can you say that you've never acted in any of those ways? You may not have shed blood, but if you've ever gossips there's a strong possibility that you sowed discord and you may have been a false witness. The problem is that these traits are all too human and seductive in how they entice us. They are all traits that we have to guard against. These 'traits' are all aimed at separating us from who we're suppose to be and how we are expected to act. But unless you hate them as He hates them then they'll hover around the edges.
One of the things that's always fascinated me is that a proud look is in the same categorization as hands that shed innocent blood. We see a similar grouping in Romans (1:28-31) in which murder and envy are in the same grouping but also those who approve those who practice these behaviors. We need to avoid all involvement but also avoid approving those who are involved in such things. Granted we can't approve the actions of those involved in those actions but our concern should be with the 'who' practicing the what.
God's displeasure is with the practice, with the 'what'. But displeasure is a tempering word, I should use the word God does - hate! We also should focus on the 'what' and not the who. Have you ever really considered the verses in either Proverbs or Romans? Do you know why God would hate those traits and how they are related? If you think about it for long you'll recognize that each one of those activities is against love. Love IS God so it's little wonder that He hates anything that is contrary to love.
Do you see these traits in others? Do they manifest in your life? Can you say that you've never acted in any of those ways? You may not have shed blood, but if you've ever gossips there's a strong possibility that you sowed discord and you may have been a false witness. The problem is that these traits are all too human and seductive in how they entice us. They are all traits that we have to guard against. These 'traits' are all aimed at separating us from who we're suppose to be and how we are expected to act. But unless you hate them as He hates them then they'll hover around the edges.
One of the things that's always fascinated me is that a proud look is in the same categorization as hands that shed innocent blood. We see a similar grouping in Romans (1:28-31) in which murder and envy are in the same grouping but also those who approve those who practice these behaviors. We need to avoid all involvement but also avoid approving those who are involved in such things. Granted we can't approve the actions of those involved in those actions but our concern should be with the 'who' practicing the what.
God's displeasure is with the practice, with the 'what'. But displeasure is a tempering word, I should use the word God does - hate! We also should focus on the 'what' and not the who. Have you ever really considered the verses in either Proverbs or Romans? Do you know why God would hate those traits and how they are related? If you think about it for long you'll recognize that each one of those activities is against love. Love IS God so it's little wonder that He hates anything that is contrary to love.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Poverty Mentality
Do you have a poverty mentality... and I'm not just talking about money? Poverty means lack; scarcity or dearth is also associated with poverty. Granted that poverty is typically referencing the lack of money this is a limiting perception. I'm also talking about abilities, goals, aptitudes, skills, etc. When you look at the definition of 'mentality' you discover that it is the mode or way of thought. So what is poverty mentality and what is its impact? Coupling the two definitions - poverty mentality is your view, your thought about lack, related to you.
Unfortunately, a poverty mentality may have absolutely nothing to do with reality - it's your perception of your reality. And from that perception comes your behavior - if you believe yourself in lack then you will act poor. For some people it's based in fear - not the fact of today but the fear of tomorrow when lack may define your situation. Again it may not have any relationship to reality... it's the 'possibility', in this case.
A poverty mentality impacts everything you do and say. It tells you that you lack, and you can't do anything to correct the situation - you were, you are, and you always will be in poverty. That sense of hopelessness is pervasive. Listen to the words of those who believe themselves poor and see if you don't sense the helplessness in the words they use. With some it's anger - that they have been dealt this hand - it isn't right, it isn't fair.
Poverty mentality is crippling. The problem is that most people do not see an answer. Since the answer begins with your view of you and what you can do and be, the answer is that you need a different paradigm. The 'how' you change is the second step. The beginning is to realize what you are doing to you and be willing to change... not the simplest step but the most crucial. The rest of the journey isn't easy but this first step is gargantuan for some. What do YOU need to do to begin...
Unfortunately, a poverty mentality may have absolutely nothing to do with reality - it's your perception of your reality. And from that perception comes your behavior - if you believe yourself in lack then you will act poor. For some people it's based in fear - not the fact of today but the fear of tomorrow when lack may define your situation. Again it may not have any relationship to reality... it's the 'possibility', in this case.
A poverty mentality impacts everything you do and say. It tells you that you lack, and you can't do anything to correct the situation - you were, you are, and you always will be in poverty. That sense of hopelessness is pervasive. Listen to the words of those who believe themselves poor and see if you don't sense the helplessness in the words they use. With some it's anger - that they have been dealt this hand - it isn't right, it isn't fair.
Poverty mentality is crippling. The problem is that most people do not see an answer. Since the answer begins with your view of you and what you can do and be, the answer is that you need a different paradigm. The 'how' you change is the second step. The beginning is to realize what you are doing to you and be willing to change... not the simplest step but the most crucial. The rest of the journey isn't easy but this first step is gargantuan for some. What do YOU need to do to begin...
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Fair
What's fair? To whom? Who said that fair was something you deserved, your right? 'Fair' is such a moving target that it's difficult getting a precise definition. For many people 'fair' is whatever it is they want at a particular point in time, but that's only part of what I meant by fair being a moving target. Fair has to be built on a standard applied to all? Yes!
Fair is one of those words that's a noun, adjective, and an adverb which means that it has multiple uses as a word. But... does this mean that the word has multiple definitions? No. Webster's definition of fair: marked by impartiality and honesty; free from self-interest, prejudice, or favoritism , conforming with the established rules. If those 4 components are not in evidence then the act or decision is not fair. I also believe that impartiality is probably the overriding concern - the largest issue is if (it) is free of self-interest or prejudice and especially favoritism. I doubt that there is much that is more irritating than feeling that preferential treatment is existing. People need to believe that decisions involving them are not skewed in an adverse way.
Fair is also observable - what you see happening in the situation whether or not you are directly involved. All this is directly related to equal. Example: given the same set of circumstances, would the end result be the same regardless of the participants? If it isn't then fairness did not exist. When I was a child I typically coupled fair with justice. I think I still do - but they're not (necessarily) the same thing.
The basic question though is - do you act fairly? In my definition of 'fair' is the belief that if you don't deal fairly you can't expect to be treated fairly... a kind of quid pro quo. But equally important - if you aren't treated fairly this does not give you license to act unfairly. Those people who have as part of their personal philosophy a fairness doctrine must act according to those principles. Fair is another big word and you need to know what your definition is.
Fair is one of those words that's a noun, adjective, and an adverb which means that it has multiple uses as a word. But... does this mean that the word has multiple definitions? No. Webster's definition of fair: marked by impartiality and honesty; free from self-interest, prejudice, or favoritism , conforming with the established rules. If those 4 components are not in evidence then the act or decision is not fair. I also believe that impartiality is probably the overriding concern - the largest issue is if (it) is free of self-interest or prejudice and especially favoritism. I doubt that there is much that is more irritating than feeling that preferential treatment is existing. People need to believe that decisions involving them are not skewed in an adverse way.
Fair is also observable - what you see happening in the situation whether or not you are directly involved. All this is directly related to equal. Example: given the same set of circumstances, would the end result be the same regardless of the participants? If it isn't then fairness did not exist. When I was a child I typically coupled fair with justice. I think I still do - but they're not (necessarily) the same thing.
The basic question though is - do you act fairly? In my definition of 'fair' is the belief that if you don't deal fairly you can't expect to be treated fairly... a kind of quid pro quo. But equally important - if you aren't treated fairly this does not give you license to act unfairly. Those people who have as part of their personal philosophy a fairness doctrine must act according to those principles. Fair is another big word and you need to know what your definition is.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
What do you say...
This is both a question and a statement. I've spoken about the power of words before and we need to realize what we say is far more important than we think. Scripture is very clear: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" (Proverbs 18:21) In the New Testament, James (chapter 3) tells us we need to realize that the tongue can't be tamed and, by inference, we need to put a watch on our words.
Speaking also tells others what we believe. Paul (2 Corinthians 4:13) says: "'I believed and therefore I spoke,' we also believe and therefore speak". Therefore, what we say has great significance, probably far more than we realize. Perhaps a couple of examples will illustrate: do you say you can or you can't? Philippians 4:13 tells us that we can do everything through Christ who strengthens me. Sooo, what can't you do? Or is this more an issue of what you may or may not want to do? Another example is in verse 19. Though I'm not in the 'name it, claim it' group He tells me He will meet my needs. What's important to understand is that a 'want' is not necessarily a 'need'.
Are you afraid? We learn that "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2Timothy 1:7). Why should we fear? Of what should we be afraid? Most battles are won or lost in our spirit because that is the source of our actions - what are you saying to yourself? Another area is worries and frustrations, but because I am always "casting all (my) care upon Him for He cares for (me)" (1Peter 5:7), why waste my time worrying?
Perhaps the greatest area we have to overcome is our view of us. We've lived with us so we know what we have done. But while we can't lightly dismiss the past it is who we were, not who we are becoming. 2 Corinthians 5, beginning in verse 17 tells us that we are a new creation and now we need to learn how that directs our days. Also, we should not hold onto all those old mistakes that condemn us, for "there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1)
But all this begins with what we say. What and who do you say you are? Are you a can't, needy, afraid, worried, condemned person... is that what you say? Or... do you say, "I am being renewed in the spirit of my mind and I am putting on the new man which was created according to God in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4:23-24)
Speaking also tells others what we believe. Paul (2 Corinthians 4:13) says: "'I believed and therefore I spoke,' we also believe and therefore speak". Therefore, what we say has great significance, probably far more than we realize. Perhaps a couple of examples will illustrate: do you say you can or you can't? Philippians 4:13 tells us that we can do everything through Christ who strengthens me. Sooo, what can't you do? Or is this more an issue of what you may or may not want to do? Another example is in verse 19. Though I'm not in the 'name it, claim it' group He tells me He will meet my needs. What's important to understand is that a 'want' is not necessarily a 'need'.
Are you afraid? We learn that "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2Timothy 1:7). Why should we fear? Of what should we be afraid? Most battles are won or lost in our spirit because that is the source of our actions - what are you saying to yourself? Another area is worries and frustrations, but because I am always "casting all (my) care upon Him for He cares for (me)" (1Peter 5:7), why waste my time worrying?
Perhaps the greatest area we have to overcome is our view of us. We've lived with us so we know what we have done. But while we can't lightly dismiss the past it is who we were, not who we are becoming. 2 Corinthians 5, beginning in verse 17 tells us that we are a new creation and now we need to learn how that directs our days. Also, we should not hold onto all those old mistakes that condemn us, for "there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1)
But all this begins with what we say. What and who do you say you are? Are you a can't, needy, afraid, worried, condemned person... is that what you say? Or... do you say, "I am being renewed in the spirit of my mind and I am putting on the new man which was created according to God in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4:23-24)
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Self Control
So... what actually IS self control? In its simplest and most basic form it is control exercised by you over you or directed by you rather than control coming from the outside, from someone else. Self control is not, however, designed as a deterrent to creativity. It is not meant to inhibit or stop the new or the different. Self control is like that check you sense in yourself prior to doing or saying something you'll regret later. You can choose to exercise self control or not... but be assured that if you don't, something or someone else will.
I believe your self control starts with your personal ethics. Simply defined this means dealing with what is good and bad and with moral duty and obligation - it's your set of moral principles or system of moral values (according to Webster). You may not have written this down but instinctively you know what you believe and how you will act. And this is tested often. You refine or validate your own principles but you discard them only rarely.
Self control is one of those personal building blocks/foundational structures that impacts so many other areas of your life. Integrity rests on self control as does how you define the 'big' words like responsibility, honor, character, etc. Without self control you enter into a life of no restraints which ultimately will lead to restraints place by others.
I realize that typically we view self control in a negative light - something necessary but distasteful. It is important to understand the positive outcomes from you exercising your self control. One is that you can trust yourself and others will trust you because they realize that you won't act contrary to what is good. Self control is listed in Galatians (5:22) as one of the fruits of the Spirit... against such there is no law.
I believe your self control starts with your personal ethics. Simply defined this means dealing with what is good and bad and with moral duty and obligation - it's your set of moral principles or system of moral values (according to Webster). You may not have written this down but instinctively you know what you believe and how you will act. And this is tested often. You refine or validate your own principles but you discard them only rarely.
Self control is one of those personal building blocks/foundational structures that impacts so many other areas of your life. Integrity rests on self control as does how you define the 'big' words like responsibility, honor, character, etc. Without self control you enter into a life of no restraints which ultimately will lead to restraints place by others.
I realize that typically we view self control in a negative light - something necessary but distasteful. It is important to understand the positive outcomes from you exercising your self control. One is that you can trust yourself and others will trust you because they realize that you won't act contrary to what is good. Self control is listed in Galatians (5:22) as one of the fruits of the Spirit... against such there is no law.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Following / Followed
Have you ever asked yourself - is someone following me, am I leading others? Or maybe... you're following someone? If you're doing the following - do you know where you're going? Or is it blindly following without a sense of direction, of goal? The same questions can be asked if you are the leader and are being followed. Where? How long will it take? Do you have all the supplies necessary for the journey? Is everyone understanding the goal, the method, etc.? Regardless of following or leading, the same issues emerge and must be answered.
One of the issues is Experience: When the 'leader' says something, as a follower, do you believe them? Do you think you are believed when you lead? What is required for you to accept what is said? There seem to be some people that others seem to believe immediately and others they dismiss just as quickly. Why? What causes belief or distrust? Obviously previous experience plays a significant role but initially it probably rests on credentials. Do you/does the person you are following have credentials that indicate previous success? Is there the sense that the leader possesses sufficient understanding and appreciation of the intricacies of the task?
Treatment: One of the more critical considerations is whether everyone is treated equally. Equally does not necessarily mean the 'same' but everyone must feel that they are heard, understood and valued. You want the same behaviors from your 'supervisor' regardless if you are part of a team or leading. If you don't feel you are supported and valued then your 'production' will sag. The same issue rises if some members are 'favored' over others. People all want to feel that they are not being slighted.
Responsible: Being responsible is not just important, it's critical. Regardless of your 'position' (leader or follower) if you aren't a responsible person then how can anyone rely on what you do or say you'll do? When things go 'wrong' do you accept the responsibility if it is your actions or inaction? If things go well do you 'give credit where credit is due'? Do you plan ahead so that all of the necessary 'supplies' are available to accomplish the goal? All this relates to you being responsible.
I would propose, though, that the single most important quality any leader possesses can be summed up by the word - trust, by those above and below. But it's equally important that you as a follower are someone others can trust. We all lead and we all follow but neither should be done blindly and unthinking. Perhaps it isn't an issue of knowing precisely where you're going or when you will get 'there' but knowledge that you are moving and moving according to a plan.
One of the issues is Experience: When the 'leader' says something, as a follower, do you believe them? Do you think you are believed when you lead? What is required for you to accept what is said? There seem to be some people that others seem to believe immediately and others they dismiss just as quickly. Why? What causes belief or distrust? Obviously previous experience plays a significant role but initially it probably rests on credentials. Do you/does the person you are following have credentials that indicate previous success? Is there the sense that the leader possesses sufficient understanding and appreciation of the intricacies of the task?
Treatment: One of the more critical considerations is whether everyone is treated equally. Equally does not necessarily mean the 'same' but everyone must feel that they are heard, understood and valued. You want the same behaviors from your 'supervisor' regardless if you are part of a team or leading. If you don't feel you are supported and valued then your 'production' will sag. The same issue rises if some members are 'favored' over others. People all want to feel that they are not being slighted.
Responsible: Being responsible is not just important, it's critical. Regardless of your 'position' (leader or follower) if you aren't a responsible person then how can anyone rely on what you do or say you'll do? When things go 'wrong' do you accept the responsibility if it is your actions or inaction? If things go well do you 'give credit where credit is due'? Do you plan ahead so that all of the necessary 'supplies' are available to accomplish the goal? All this relates to you being responsible.
I would propose, though, that the single most important quality any leader possesses can be summed up by the word - trust, by those above and below. But it's equally important that you as a follower are someone others can trust. We all lead and we all follow but neither should be done blindly and unthinking. Perhaps it isn't an issue of knowing precisely where you're going or when you will get 'there' but knowledge that you are moving and moving according to a plan.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Will Power
I'm a firm believer in will power, in exercising your will... when it pertains to you and your life. At times you exercise for something and at other times it stands as a defense against certain aspects. In either case, you are not imposing your will on another. And, will power can be exercised in a variety of ways, including the passive aggressive behavior types - the most manipulative form of will power. What kind of will power do you exercise because everyone does, even if it's to give that power to someone else.
Why is it important? Simple. We are a creation that hates to be told... pretty much everything. For some it's not because they know it all it's because they want to exercise their decision making power rather than be told, they want to discover. The only problem with this approach is that you can waste a lot of time reinventing the wheel. Somehow, if this is you, you need to separate the decision making part of exercising your will from the discovery stage. Approach discovery as a... how it applies to you and your life rather than needing to discover everything first-hand yourself.
Soooo is doing what you want to do, when you want to do it, if you want to do it the definition of exercising your will power? I don't think so, especially if it infringes on others' rights. Exercising your will power entails accepting the results and ramifications from your decision. Using your will is both a privilege as well as a responsibility (a sign of maturity). You aren't suppose to exercise it unthinkingly.
If unbridled use of your will is not the basis of will power, what is? The primary foundation for your will power is your character; who you are and how you express this. The decisions that emanate from this foundation reinforces, refines how you utilize your will power, especially in difficult situations. I would suggest that the one factor that is most important is will power's twin - self control. Without this stabilizing influence, effective will power is severely weakened.
Why is it important? Simple. We are a creation that hates to be told... pretty much everything. For some it's not because they know it all it's because they want to exercise their decision making power rather than be told, they want to discover. The only problem with this approach is that you can waste a lot of time reinventing the wheel. Somehow, if this is you, you need to separate the decision making part of exercising your will from the discovery stage. Approach discovery as a... how it applies to you and your life rather than needing to discover everything first-hand yourself.
Soooo is doing what you want to do, when you want to do it, if you want to do it the definition of exercising your will power? I don't think so, especially if it infringes on others' rights. Exercising your will power entails accepting the results and ramifications from your decision. Using your will is both a privilege as well as a responsibility (a sign of maturity). You aren't suppose to exercise it unthinkingly.
If unbridled use of your will is not the basis of will power, what is? The primary foundation for your will power is your character; who you are and how you express this. The decisions that emanate from this foundation reinforces, refines how you utilize your will power, especially in difficult situations. I would suggest that the one factor that is most important is will power's twin - self control. Without this stabilizing influence, effective will power is severely weakened.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Integrity
Integrity is another of those big words. I found it interesting that Webster defined the word without really defining it: soundness, completeness, honesty, sincerity, incorruptibility. These are all good words it's just that it leaves so much to individual interpretation. What does the word 'integrity' mean to you? How do you define it? Do you know what it looks like operationally? Are you a person of integrity... according to your definition?
To me, integrity is not automatic nor instantaneous - it is developed over time in relationship, in experience. Thus, one of the words that I would suggest to define integrity is reliability. Can I rely on what is said by the other person? Is my experience with them one that confirms this trait? Changing one's mind is acceptable in my definition of reliable as long as the change is communicated.
Unequivocal speaking/hearing is another trait. I intensely dislike mixed messages. It's not a 5 cent word versus a 50 cent word that's at issue, it's whether or not the message is clear and uncorrupted. It's probable that you may need to define words - don't assume that what is spoken is what is heard (or what is heard is what was said). We don't necessarily have to agree but we do need to know if we've communicated.
Though it may seem obvious, I believe that integrity is related to relationships and communication. I find it nearly impossible to believe that someone could act with integrity towards one person and not toward someone else. Integrity is an overall character trait. As a result, integrity means speaking the truth in love - not compromising truth. Integrity includes being honorable. Standing up for what you understand is good and worth defending. Fear of other's negative reaction is not a basis for not acting with integrity.
I believe that integrity is 'composed' of character traits and, though there are other qualities, these are some that define integrity for me. What defines integrity for you? And, more important, can you see these traits in action?
To me, integrity is not automatic nor instantaneous - it is developed over time in relationship, in experience. Thus, one of the words that I would suggest to define integrity is reliability. Can I rely on what is said by the other person? Is my experience with them one that confirms this trait? Changing one's mind is acceptable in my definition of reliable as long as the change is communicated.
Unequivocal speaking/hearing is another trait. I intensely dislike mixed messages. It's not a 5 cent word versus a 50 cent word that's at issue, it's whether or not the message is clear and uncorrupted. It's probable that you may need to define words - don't assume that what is spoken is what is heard (or what is heard is what was said). We don't necessarily have to agree but we do need to know if we've communicated.
Though it may seem obvious, I believe that integrity is related to relationships and communication. I find it nearly impossible to believe that someone could act with integrity towards one person and not toward someone else. Integrity is an overall character trait. As a result, integrity means speaking the truth in love - not compromising truth. Integrity includes being honorable. Standing up for what you understand is good and worth defending. Fear of other's negative reaction is not a basis for not acting with integrity.
I believe that integrity is 'composed' of character traits and, though there are other qualities, these are some that define integrity for me. What defines integrity for you? And, more important, can you see these traits in action?
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Always / Never
Do you have any conception of the power of those 2 words? The power comes from their limiting ability. I consciously try not to use either of those two words, primarily because they are so restraining. Once spoken, they immediately confine the speaker to an unchangeable position and the listener is stopped from any discussion. My experience has been that when I did blurt out one of these words, life's vagaries immediately prove me wrong.
But... who or what is always always or never never? Life holds so much that are 'unexpecteds' and surprises, how can one say 'always'/'never'? Are there exceptions to this? If you look to things, people that don't change or that are permanent then there's a possibility that there could be an exception. However, what or who is immutable, unchanging? Is there permanence with anything?
Actually, the only exception is God. He tells us in His word that He changes not.(Malachi 3:6). I sometimes wonder if it is because there is so much change that faces us that He chose to be unchanging. However, that's a somewhat superficial thought because it goes much deeper. It's quite simple - God is our always and never. He is the standard, the foundation, the constant so we can know and rely on that what He says...is. Though He doesn't change, our understanding, our relationship with Him does as it grows. This is an exciting journey and from Him we can discover always and never, to understand the unchanging and live with the changing.
Do we need an always/never? Absolutely! We all need something or someone we can rely on to be precisely what they say. Without it we stand on shifting sand and can never get our footing. The Lord IS this foundation. To receive, to live in this assurance, all that is asked from us is to believe, to have faith and trust. We demonstrate this through our words and through our actions - through our witness of relying on Him and, equally important, keeping our eyes on Him rather than the circumstances.
But... who or what is always always or never never? Life holds so much that are 'unexpecteds' and surprises, how can one say 'always'/'never'? Are there exceptions to this? If you look to things, people that don't change or that are permanent then there's a possibility that there could be an exception. However, what or who is immutable, unchanging? Is there permanence with anything?
Actually, the only exception is God. He tells us in His word that He changes not.(Malachi 3:6). I sometimes wonder if it is because there is so much change that faces us that He chose to be unchanging. However, that's a somewhat superficial thought because it goes much deeper. It's quite simple - God is our always and never. He is the standard, the foundation, the constant so we can know and rely on that what He says...is. Though He doesn't change, our understanding, our relationship with Him does as it grows. This is an exciting journey and from Him we can discover always and never, to understand the unchanging and live with the changing.
Do we need an always/never? Absolutely! We all need something or someone we can rely on to be precisely what they say. Without it we stand on shifting sand and can never get our footing. The Lord IS this foundation. To receive, to live in this assurance, all that is asked from us is to believe, to have faith and trust. We demonstrate this through our words and through our actions - through our witness of relying on Him and, equally important, keeping our eyes on Him rather than the circumstances.
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