Go back?

Can you ever simply... go back? The quick answer to this is 'no'. Because change is happening constantly, though rate of change does vary, what was no longer is in the form it was. The new requires a new discovery, a new response. And when we are talking about people - it will require an adjustment. However, the longer answer is 'yes' - as long as you don't expect what was to be what is and are willing to make the new discoveries.

There is some advantage to going back... when it's to people. Both good and difficult, you aren't required to forge new relationships. First, at least you do know them as they were which gives a kind of foundation to build upon. However, they may not be totally aware that they too must not make assumptions on who you are now. While the first meetings may be awkward, there is a kind of familiarity that is 'comforting'.

Obviously, the most important question is - why are you going back? What compels you to return? Nostalgia? To finish an uncompleted 'business'? New challenge? Escape? There really are countless reasons that one attempts to go back but you need to know why you are. Hovering around the edges of these questions is - for how long? Permanent? And if transient, what do you want to happen?

Going back is bittersweet. It can update your memory bank. It can reintroduce you to people that once were part of your life. It has all sorts of 'power' (influence). However, you can never recreate then - it would be a mistake to try. Enjoy the new and you will find that you really can... go back.

Answers

Point of fact: you do not have all the answers. In fact, you don't even have all of your answers. Actually, you don't even have all of your questions! Do you know what you know? Do you know how you know what you know? Has your knowing changed? The answer to this last question should be 'yes' because if it isn't then you aren't growing.

Being a question person, my focus tends to be on asking questions (according to my friends, never ending questions). I've always believed that unless and until you know how to ask questions your growth will be slowed and perhaps your answers as well. However, in the question/answer process one can't dismiss the importance of answers. What's the purpose of questions if not to find the answer? Thus finding answers is the end result. But... don't miss the understanding of the process of getting from the question to the answer.

How you move from question to answer is your decision making process. I believe that your process is the single most important aspect of the question-answer resolution.  I am a huge advocate of knowing how you get to your answer. If you understand and learn/develop the process then it is repeatable and you won't have to 'reinvent the wheel' thus saving time. Process, in my world of definitions, is the method you use to discover your way from question to answer. I believe that process is critical because applying it will allow you to consider all your options and ramifications.

Answers provide you with your 'aha!' in the process. They are also immensely satisfying. However, do recognize that Answers may be accompanied by new questions because often the answer is only a stepping stone. If you enjoy puzzles then process becomes a challenge rather than a burden. Your answers are critical, even if only to you, so how you know what you know, how you ask your questions, how you move from question to answer is of paramount importance.

Doubt

Doubt is an 'is'. It never meets you face on, it always comes at you at the most inconvenient time and in a way that is totally unexpected. Doubt comes in at the basement door or the back door or window - it never comes knocking at the front door.  Personally I think doubt is as inevitable as the sun coming up but our problem is to resolve not run from it. Doubt can be insidious - it can gnaw at you and consume your thoughts if you don't resolve it.

What's your view of doubt? Is doubt close to blasphemy? Is it cowardice? Is it a failure of faith?  Is doubt unbelief? Well yes... if you believed then you wouldn't have doubt! Is doubt inevitable? What do you do when it emerges into the conscious level of your thinking? Could doubt be a pathway to understanding? You should begin with a definition of doubt because it may not be what you think it is. According to Webster, doubt is: to be uncertain or undecided, a wavering..., lack of trust.

What does the definition of doubt tell you? Simply, that it's up to you to resolve it. While others can provide their insights, the ultimate decision is yours. But that's the path to resolution. The opposite path, ignoring or denying, is the other option but it will never work. Eventually doubt will incapacitate you and you will be worse off than you were.

Never run from doubt or you'll run into fear and then you'll have a double whammy. Doubt is a form of questioning but you need to go beyond questions to find answers. It will be in the answer that you'll discover resolution, but you have to start with the questions. Not the least of these is 'why'. What caused you to doubt in the first place? This is critical to know because if you don't then you may see it again. Believe it or not, doubt can be helpful - if you meet it head on and know your answer(s). Resolution can be difficult but the fruit is lasting.

Qualified.

It's a good thing we don't have to pass any litmus test to be 'qualified' to be of use for the Lord. We may have 'reasons' to put off/postpone any assignment He calls us to, but qualified doesn't happen to be one of them. So what's your excuse to not do what you're called to do? Too young? Too old? Not articulate enough? Not knowledgeable? Simply not qualified... yet?

When you think about 'qualified' you can inevitably jump to some of the great people in scripture in order to compare yourself. But... are they as perfect as you think? Just as an example, someone noted that: Jacob was a cheater, Peter had a temper, David had an affair, Noah got drunk, Jonah ran from God, Paul was a murderer, Gideon was insecure, Miriam was a gossiper, Martha was a worrier, Thomas was a doubter, Sarah was impatient, Elijah was moody, Moses stuttered, Zaccheus was short, Abraham was old and Lazarus was dead. What a group, yet they accomplished mighty things.

That list of people were far from qualified and yet God used them and they became the fathers and mothers of faith. And what is the quality that made them of value? Availability. Those people were willing to be used by God, they put themselves in a position to be of use. As they presented themselves, during the process of doing what was asked, they became qualified.

How many times have you heard that God doesn't call the qualified.... He qualifies the called? When you accepted Jesus as your Lord then you became one of the called (it's part of the definition). And God will never call you to do something you absolutely could never do. What He often does is to call you to something that seems to be beyond you - and it may be, but He doesn't leave you to your own devices, He is with you in the situation. You are qualified. Are you available?

Sharing... you

This is as much a (with) 'whom' question as much at it is a 'how' (much) question. We all control the amount of us we share, with whom, and when. There are some definite criterion we use to judge how much we share. I would venture to say that trust would be an important consideration. However, it can be argued that the major determinant of the sharing is our previous experience, defined as acceptance of what we disclosed.

How comfortable are you in sharing you? Do you enjoy doing this? Is this threatening for you? How do you share you, what's the context? Or is your sharing simply natural to whatever the situation you are in? For many people, sharing who they are is extremely difficult. Difficult can also be defined as dangerous (to self). And for shy people, sharing can be terrifying: what do I say? how do I say 'it'? what if I say too much? what if I don't communicate? Those thoughts can incapacitate one from saying anything.

Where is your level of comfort? Do you enjoy sharing you with others? Do you see your behavior as 'transparent' and thus encouraging for others? Or are you self obsessed and thoroughly enjoy regaling others of your accomplishments? What is it of you, you share? In case this sounds harsh the intent is to make you look at the content of your sharing.

As an example... I'm a listener. What I do is share questions. At a young age I discovered that most people really did like to talk, especially about themselves but they didn't always know how to do this. As a result, and since I'm an inveterate people watcher, I began asking other people questions but I also listened to what they said. Since the subsequent questions often relied on what was just said, people began seeing that I was interested in them and what they thought and not just idly filling up the silence. This freed them to share what they wanted but in a context that let them know they were heard.

The Role of a Lifetime

Are you the Director of your life? Or maybe you're the Star of your life? Or are you the Understudy? Perhaps you're part of the crew setting up for the action to take place? Maybe you're in the audience? What is your role in your life?

When I was younger I probably imagined myself in all of the roles simultaneously. In my case, I didn't view myself in a role that was tangential to the activity of my life. I'm positive I would have seen myself as the Director and Star - and I think most of us do. As I grew older I saw a need for assistance in the Director's role but I had a sufficient amount of confidence in myself that I had no problem continuing the Star's role. This realization I would like to see as maturity.

Though there was a sufficient selection to choose in the Director's Assistant's role, no one seemed to be able to really fill what I needed so I rejected them after a short stint in the role. Fortunately I was blessed to find Jesus and was able to transition to Him being the Director (even though there were moments when I took the role back and then wished I hadn't). He has proven to be a trustworthy Director who still allows me the decision to accept the specific current role but also assured me that He won't abandon me.

With the Lord firmly in the Director's role, this provided me the opportunity to grow into the Star's role. Admittedly, some of my performances weren't particularly noteworthy and some were downright duds, still I continued to practice and grow into the role. The freedom that the Lord provided me in taking the Director's role has allowed me to become the Star I was meant to be in the role of a lifetime.

Trust yourself?

Do you trust you? Do you have reason not to trust you? Granted you make mistakes, but is this reason to not trust you? Absolutely not. Mistakes, unless deliberately repeated, are no basis for lack of trust. So, what would make you not trust yourself? For that matter, what causes you to trust yourself?

Trust is one of those critical considerations. Some of the same criteria that allows you to trust others also applies in terms of trusting yourself. But you can't trust or not trust based only on a feeling or some other nefarious reason. Maybe you would equivocate a tad and say that there are certain areas that you would trust yourself but there other's you wouldn't. Do you know why you wouldn't? Have you 'failed' in those areas in the past and thus don't have the confidence?

Confidence and trust are closely related. And trust doesn't necessarily always mean a positive outcome for you. You can trust that you will err (a negative) and thus are reluctant to even attempt just as easily as you can trust you will succeed. The result whether positive or negative really has little bearing - it's your level of confidence that the result will be expected that speaks to the trust.

How does it make you feel when you believe you can't trust yourself? Sad? Angry (at self)? Discouraged? Unwilling to even attempt? But... have you ever held a deep seated lack of trust in yourself to accomplish something but you tried anyway? How did that make you feel, whether or not you succeeded? Pleased with yourself perhaps? And if, miracle upon miracle, you actually did succeed how did that make you feel?

I would hope that we all would give ourselves the benefit of the doubt and trust that win or lose we will do the best we can. Trusting self should never be a barrier.

Instant Maturity

For some reason there is the pervasive thinking that once you get saved you instantly become mature. Though it may not be said, behavior seems to affirm this. I don't think so. There is no such thing as 'instant maturity'. Many times what is said is: "...you need to start attending a good bible believing church." And/or a Bible is given and the new believer is told to read it, generally to start reading John (2/3rds through the Bible which can be a tad confusing about why one would start near the end of the book).

As good as those intentions are, most new people are left to their own devices instead of being discipled. When you read the Great Commission you see that one of the responsibilities is to disciple new believers to 'grow them up'. Actually we are told to make disciples first (Matthew 28:19) even before baptism, so this must indicate a priority. The more mature Christian is suppose to teach (verse 20).  For some inexplicable reason, this rarely is an activity the church engages in or if they do it is for a short period of time. New believers are precisely that... new. 

In one of the parables (Matthew 12:43-45), though talking about deliverance from an unclean spirit, this can also give us an example of what can happen when a new believer is not discipled. I've always felt that it was critical that new believers begin to learn who they now are since they accepted Jesus. We should never expect them to do it on their own. When we do, we see that often it is a revolving door and the new believer has left.

Instant maturity doesn't happen in the natural world when a baby is born. It also doesn't happen in the spiritual world when a person comes to Christ. Undeniably we each are responsible for our own actions or lack, but without guidance we don't know what our responsibilities are. We have rights, we have gifts, we have work, we have responsibilities... we are given much but we also need to discipled in order to... mature.

Caught!

Be honest... the problem is that no one likes to get caught. This is especially true when you know you aren't suppose to do something but you did it anyway and everyone knows that you know you shouldn't. It's bad enough that you got caught but to realize that everyone knew this wasn't an innocent act makes the situation doubly bad.

We all know the easiest thing to do is to admit we made a mistake and take responsibility for our actions and accept our 'punishment'. Yet this often is the last thing people do. "Trying to get away with it" is often the first line of defense. What is (because let's face it... this still happens) the first action you fall back on? Proclamation of innocence? Justification? While there may be other things someone might do, they typically fall into one or the other of these categories.

Do you insist on innocence to the point of, "...methinks he doth protest too much." Truly innocent people typically aren't overly boisterous and support their position with verifiable facts. The louder you yell the more I doubt. Some of the more rational (sometimes spelled w-i-l-y) begin a 'logical' justification of what and why they did what they did. The less the facts and the more the words of justification, the more I question. Much to my sense of amusement (irony) it seems that when you try to get away with 'it', you are more likely to get caught.

But there is an overriding character issue that presents itself. Why do you try and deflect and/or mitigate what was done? Why not assume responsibility? Is it perhaps that the act you committed is in fact a denial of a valued character component? You may not be willing to acknowledge that you presented a person who you are now ashamed of... yes? So... what do you do when you are caught?

Busy!!!

Is your life filled to overflowing? Are you busy with 1, 2, or 3 exclamation points? Why? And don't say you don't have any choice... one always has a choice. Our choices are based on our priorities - stated and affirmed and not stated but actions affirm. If you admit that you enjoy being busy then that's part of your DNA but is it what you want? Is your life being consumed by your busyness? When you look back at yesterday, last month, last year what do you see?

Sooo if you are busy, what are you busy with, what is it that consumes your time? Work? Family? Hobby? In the middle of a project? Are you involved with activities that challenge and/or provide enjoyment or with those that sap the strength out of you? Busy isn't always defined in terms of preference. And there is no negative attached to enjoying being busy. The issue really is whether you are controlling or the busyness is.

Those are a great number of questions that you are faced with when you consider 'busy' and your life. But they are all important considerations. No one wants to have their life controlled by outside 'forces' but seeking balance is difficult. Plus, there seems to be a very fine line between being too busy and having too much time on your hands. One can slip from one to the other in a what seems like a blink of the eye. Because of that tendency, I believe that one does need to consider what to do in the 'down time'. Who are you when you aren't busy?

Down time has a lot of advantages and a great deal that you can do to fill it... to overflowing? Some people will fill it because they don't know what to do with down time. But you also need to think about the quality in the time. Busy can keep you so busy that you have no time to think... but down time gives you the opportunity to assess and evaluate. You really do have choices.

Expression...

Actually I'm referring, in this case, to the expression of emotions - non verbally. For example: happy, unhappy - which do you walk with? Does your countenance display hopelessness, sorrow or some other form of unhappiness or are you happy? With feelings, we choose what we express. I realize that it may be splitting hairs but, happiness and unhappiness express a mindset and joy and despair express a state of being. The difference is that a mindset is our choice at the moment and a state of being speaks to who we are.

One person I knew contended that they had no intention of being other than how they felt so if they were unhappy and displayed that emotion then it was the other person's problem if they didn't like it. Yeeesss... but, you don't have to make it a 'point of honor' to present a negative picture. A problem may be that the expression at a moment in time may not speak to who we typically are, but because of our expression we may be 'type cast'. But perhaps we're getting into the arena of choice when two divergent approaches collide.

On the 'pro' side that you should express what you are feeling is that you won't give off mixed messages. Others won't wonder why you seem to be saying one thing but look the opposite. Congruency is really all that it appears to be and this aids in understanding. On the 'con' side is the sense that you are dumping on others (which may be true). If the other person isn't directly involved in the situation that you are reacting to, then do they need to know?

Since I tend to be the silver lining type, I would prefer honesty and transparency... but that it be couched in sensitivity to others. Not denying self and one's current feelings but also not being so obvious that you invite comments that you may not want to deal with. You will express yourself... your decision is how you will present yourself. Not being true doesn't work... being overly obvious won't either.

Waste...

Do you sometimes feel like you've wasted your time? or your resources? or your opportunities? or ... That 'they' are gone and can't be retrieved. While some of the waste can be laid at your own feet - not all, sometimes the waste was not your doing but you reaped the results.  How does it make you feel? Lost? Frustrated? Numb? Helpless? And now what do you do...

We've all felt this way at some time or other, and probably more than once. And what if you have wasted your (fill in the blank), what now? It isn't always easy to simply pick up the pieces and ... start again? move on? What are your options? Do you look for someone, anyone to blame? Do you wallow - well, yes, I think we all spend some of the time in a pity party.

For me, once I've emerged from either feeling sorry for myself or irritated at what happened - at the apparent loss; my next thought is to analyze where I am, if something's been lost, what I can do to either retrieve the loss or substitute, etc. That's because my personal philosophy is analyze and move on - create a new opportunity and do whatever damage control is necessary. But what is your personal philosophy - what would you do?  Not what would you like to think you would do - what do you do?

A 'waste' may be an impetus to something new, a waste doesn't need to be viewed negatively. You can use what you learned from the situation. Waste doesn't have to stay as waste... waste can be a new beginning, a springboard to success. It really depends on what you want to do with... waste.

'Playing it safe'

Is this how you live your life, your MO? Or do you only play it safe with certain aspects of your life and are wildly abandoned in others? Do you know, if you're the safe player type, how you got that way? What happened that 'made' you adopt this way of reacting and interacting? Playing it safe and risk taker are typically the opposite ends of a continuum. Do you see yourself as a risk taker... in any facet of your life?

To beat this point into the ground... there are the gamblers and the safe investor types and one or the other usually prevails in all aspects that relate to one's life, perhaps not all but the vast majority. I'm not placing a value on either position other than to indicate that you should, on a conscious level, know your preferred operational style. It will make your actions far more understandable to you (because we can confuse ourselves at times).

The gambler type is generally the romantic, dashing style that others typically dream about but rarely act upon. If you consider your friends and acquaintances I would venture to speculate that few, if any, embody this style. And, if this isn't your typical behavior there's no fault. The gambler/safe investor is a bit like the tortoise and the hare - no value on either, just two different styles. Both have qualities to be desired.

But, if you are playing it safe as an excuse - then this is not useful; just like a bravado as a risk taker won't work if it doesn't support your personal philosophy. You only frustrate yourself and become a puzzle to others. You can enhance your personal style or you can shoot yourself in the foot. Yes, there are times when you have to break out of the usual, but know when there is a call to do this. This is also true for the gambler... you need to 'know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em'.

Equal

How do you define this word? Does equal mean precisely the same? Does 'equal' apply to everything? The answers to the last two questions is... no. I suspect that part of our approach to equal starts in childhood when it appears that another person may have gotten favor over/instead of us. Equal really is such a personal issue and typically emerges when we feel we have been deprived... and it isn't fair. 'Equal', 'right' and 'fair', many times are used in the same sentence.

Rarely does anyone think about what transpired before the purported inequality appears. Did the other person earn their reward? Let's be honest... most of our irritation is based in someone else getting a reward and we didn't. However, let's consider the reverse scenario - suppose you were the one receiving a reward and then another person did too except they didn't do the work to earn it... how would you feel? Does 'equal' only apply to you?

My contention is that we all desire recognition even if we haven't totally accomplished the final result. There's nothing wrong with that feeling. recognition lets us experience support as we work toward accomplishing our goal/responsibility/etc. As a society we are quick to criticize and this can be demoralizing, thus the need for approval intensifies.

'Equal' and 'fair' do exist, especially if you reverse the order of the two words. When you focus on whether or not it's right and proper for you to receive accolades, your perspective does change. Plus, how often do you offer support to someone? If you are know as an 'encourager' then you too will be encouraged. I'm not completely convinced that we really are search for equal as much as we are searching for support as we continue the process.

What is it you want... do you know?

Please note that it's the word, 'want', not 'need', not 'like' - want. Do you know what you want? And most importantly, is it something you can acquire? I'm putting 'want' in realistic terms - something attainable though you don't currently have it. However, it isn't a 'need'. It's critical that the want is something that's important to you and that you would be able to have. 'Pie in the sky' doesn't work as it obviously is a waste of time and effort to want for something you never can possess.

Want is really in a category all to itself because your well being doesn't rest on wants being attained, you can live without them. But... they make life so much fuller if you were to attain them. When it comes to wants, you must be precise because they really can appear to be almost like an 'add on'. And wants are always individually defined because what may be a want to you may be a need for me, or the opposite - something I have no interest in. To use a culinary example: the attainment of a want is like adding the one spice to a dish that truly enhances the flavor.

Since part of the definition of want is something you can attain, what is it you have to do to create the opportunity to 'own' your want? Wants rarely simply don't drop into your lap. They may not require all the energy, attention, and dedication you have, but you do need to be actively involved. Therefore, what do you need to do... and will you?

Once you have your want... do you know what you'll do with it? Will you use it immediately or 'save' it? Then what? Having your wants fulfilled is at least a momentary high but will it be lasting? Or... will you look to accomplishing another want?

Effective!

... is a goal worthy of pursuing and requires all that we are capable of doing at a moment in time. For me, of all the possibilities, knowing that my efforts are effective is a goal. But what if you aren't effective? What do you do with this reality? How do you handle a situation that despite your best efforts, you have been totally ineffective? I don't think any of us wants to see our efforts fail, especially when we put time, energy, etc. into making (whatever) a success. Success, accomplishment is how we define effective.

However, the standard against which we judge whether or not we were effective is a very personal definition. One of my questions is... do you know how you define effective? And, does it change depending on your level of commitment? Or, the quality of that which you are focusing your efforts? I would suggest that nothing is really in cement which only causes misunderstandings - for others watching us and for ourselves.

Results may or may not be the basis for your definition. Example: an experiment to test out a hypothesis can be a 'failure' but it is the failure that causes the elimination of an alternative, thus a success. Again, an issue of your perspective, your definitions, and what you do with the results. Supposedly 'ineffective' results can beat you down and defeat you, if you let them. Or you can view them as a stepping stone.

The goal of being effective is laudatory, however the path may not be a straight line and may take longer than you initially thought. You have many benchmarks on your path and it becomes a decision you make as to whether you will pursue or not. When, and on what basis, do you decide that attaining (whatever is the goal) is not possible? You need to know this as much as you need to know when you are effective.

A Changed Life...

Have you ever experienced a life changing event? Did the change 'take'? I would define 'take' as some event that caused a significant change for you and that you ended up using it to build upon. I have and I'll never be the same. Then again, that's what a life changing event does - it changes you. The change can be for the improvement/betterment of you or it can be a negative to who you are and become. I believe that life changing events are simply that - life changing. How we respond to them and then what we do with them determines if it was positive or negative.

I'm defining 'a changed life' in the positive sense. Whatever the event, it turned out to be a defining moment that you could point to and say that at that time you experienced a change. Also in my world of definitions, you can see that the event marked your life in such a way that you did take on a new direction. The most important life changing event for me was when I first accepted Jesus as Lord. I still find that phrase strange - that it is our choice, it is we who make the decision to accept or reject His offer.

What happens with a life changing event is that  many of your attitudes, choices and behaviors change. If they don't then can you really say you experienced a life changing event? By definition I don't think you can. The 'how' of the change varies from person to person even if the event is similar. It has to be your choice on even the 'if' of a changed life. I would suggest that you can experience a life changing event and never let it change your life.

Change can be a tad scary because you are venturing into unknown territory. I believe you must be confident in the change and in your new foundation. And you must be willing to learn, grow in understanding about what happened and what it will mean for your future, especially as it defines who you are and are becoming.

Seize the moment

Do you ever fear that you've missed your moment? That somehow (your) the 'opportunity of a lifetime' came and went without you ever savoring it, maybe even being aware? Perhaps you have... but I seriously doubt it. I don't believe in only one opportunity to accomplish or attain whatever your moment defines. Whether or not it is your 'fault' for missing your moment, that's the reason for second chances... and third...

Granted you may have missed a chance but this won't be your only opportunity though you may need to be more alert in the future. The critical consideration is that it has to be personal, yours - something that defines you to you! The reason that it has to be personal is You - without it you won't have that level of commitment. Without this mindset you won't pursue it, it will become only one option in a list.

Along with your moment being personal you can't wait to have all your ducks in a row in other to pursue and complete it. Moments rarely wait - that's why they're called 'moments'. They emerge and quickly move on which is why you need to seize them when they do. Actually it doesn't even need to 'make sense' for you to attain the result of your moment, it merely needs to be something that is worthy of your effort, that matches your passion.

Yes I realize I've indicated my belief in more than one chance but if you are aware of your opportunity and the moment comes - seize it, now. If now is the time of your awareness, to proceed you have to believe in the time, in you. Without the belief then you may not be equipped for this opportunity to seize the moment.

A Partial Answer...

Have you ever thought about life's questions and answers in terms of the source of the answer? With few exceptions I believe each of us has a portion of The Answers to The Big Questions of life and living, whether or not we realize it. I also believe it's as we share our answers that the picture of The Answers expands. The reality is that none of us have all the answers and maybe not all the questions. But for progress to be made requires us to listen as well as speak. And that is not a given. Part of this depends on our motivation - is it to expand our understanding or promote our position?

When you expound on your views/beliefs/answers keep in mind your source. Where did you get your answers? How trustworthy is your source? How long have you held these beliefs? This information is extremely important - the who, what, where, why. Also, as you listen to others, these are legitimate questions to ask them. Everything has a source. And our experience with our learning makes an incredible difference.

I've always been one to champion asking questions because I believe this is an art. Finding the/your answer can become considerably easier and faster once you have the question. However, without the underlying question you don't know what you're looking for. The process of finding the/your answer is the second greatest understanding. Then the answer. But the first two teaches us more than simply finding an answer.

Lastly one must come to the understanding and acceptance that our answer may not be another person's. This can be extremely difficult to accept since if we go through the asking and process then our answer has more foundation to rest upon. True, but this is still the sharing we give - our answer. But we need to allow others to present theirs. If you start from the premise that you have only part of the answer then another's approach doesn't disallow yours (or yours, theirs). It simply is another ... partial answer.