Intellectualizing Christianity

In some evangelical minds, Christianity has/is being intellectualized to the point of killing the life in it. The argument is that, fundamentally, Christianity is about relationship and that we've placed too much emphasis on the apologetics. Personally, I don't think it's possible to place too much emphasis on apologetics because that's the avenue to those who take a more 'intellectual' approach to their beliefs. And, it's important to know as well as feel our beliefs.

One of the criticisms of Christianity has always been that it's too emotional, that it relies too much on engaging one's feelings and not enough on engaging one's mind. Yes... and no. I disagree with this analysis as well. Since Christianity IS a relationship, you can't divorce one's feelings from the equation. Simple example: if it was only the feeling of love that was the basis for a marriage then the lasting power is shortened. It's all the little things you know about your spouse that forms the foundation. Feelings are our expression when we don't have the words we want to express ourselves and are just as 'legitimate' as a reasoned argument.

When you read Paul's letters you can begin to appreciate his totality approach. Paul attempted to engage the reader/listener on both an intellectual as well as an emotional level. When you read his prayers you can sense the depth of his feelings, his passion. And when you read his prayers you can see the level he was leading people to understand. He never wanted only part of the person - he was always aiming at involving the whole person in the process.

Bottom line... we need both but with some people you have to engage the mind in order to introduce the relationship. To me... if the mind isn't engaged then there's no substance, no foundation for the heart to stand on. It never is as simple as head vs heart. It is, and must be, head and heart. Why choose between the two..... choose both. Speak to the mind and let the heart react.

Tomorrow

I was raised with the trite, but true, saying: "Don't put off tomorrow what you can do today." Good advice. Besides we are also cautioned that tomorrow might never come. And I can agree... to a point. The important things one should never be put off. This is especially true when it comes to people and your relationships. Never put off an apology. Never put off a compliment. Never wait to say I love you to a loved one.

But ... are there things that we can legitimately 'put off'? This thinking was occasioned by the fact that I was engaged in some spring cleaning. First you should know that I hate dirt, don't mind clutter so much but I loathe dirt. Second you should know that spring cleaning has never been something I can get ecstatic over. Thus we have two semi hates warring. But it did raise the question of what kinds of 'things' can we put off till tomorrow?

And yes, there are important 'things'. At work there are deadlines and schedules that need to be met. Sometimes something you are engaged in will need to be completed because your work precedes something someone else does so it's important to accomplish your responsibility. And at home there are similar situations... especially the prep work for supper, or washing clothes because you are out of clean clothes. There are countless activities that do need to be done - and not tomorrow. But...

I realize that this may seem frivolous and inconsequential but I really am asking you a serious question and asking you to apply your answer to the 'things' on your plate. What can you not afford to put off till tomorrow? And which, of all the things on your plate, are interfering with life now and can be put off? What's a 'now' and what's a 'tomorrow'?

Forever

Have you ever given really serious thought to 'forever'? I find it difficult to get my head around the word because 'forever' is an incredible concept. And I keep forgetting that forever does not mean no change. How can there be a changeable forever? Only One can make that claim and encompass change but not to forever.

I know that there are certain 'things' and people I would love to have around me forever, but.... there are also 'things' and people I really could do without. So where is our choice in the matter? How can we keep what we want/need and forget what we don't want? Memories are one method of retaining. But these too can be both the keepers and the forgetters. Actually staying in contact with people you care about is another method. With today's technology of email, facebook, twitter, text messaging - there really is no excuse for not maintaining contact.

What else would you like to hold onto... forever? Days of happy childhood? School days of accomplishments? College days of exploration and discovery? First love? A place? A person? Any one of those and others may prompt a thought of 'wishing' it had been forever. But...? Are these eternal kinds of forever wishes/needs/wants?

In scripture, forever is always in action. It is never a passive verb or a future promise. I've always appreciated that when God speaks or acts it is always a present verb: will, is, etc. It is never an equivocal verb: may, possibly will, etc.  And once God speaks a word, it is a 'done deal'. In Isaiah (55:11) He says that His word never returns to Him void, it accomplishes what He sent it to do.

For me, the best part of 'forever' is when God said... "I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5)  A promise, His word - forever!

Doubt

Doubt is a consumer. It consumes thoughts, time, energy... trust - and it rarely produces anything of value. I'm not convinced that doubt isn't the all time worst, most crippling emotion. Once doubt rears its head, until it is resolved, it lives on the border of mind and heart - never completely vanquished.

If you doubted in an after the fact situation and were eventually proved right you could feel the fool for having believed in the first place. If you doubted and were wrong then you might feel guilty about having succumbed to doubt. If you didn't doubt and it was subsequently proved right, you might feel betrayed. There are all sorts of emotions, most of them conflicting, associated with doubt.

Sometimes the problem is that two things/people you do trust have opposite views and attempting to determine your personal stand can be difficult. Sometimes a simple right/wrong can be blurred leaving you in that gray quicksand of confusion. Perhaps the real issue is what you do when doubt creeps in, because it can and does creep. That's one of the problems with doubt - it's sneaky.

With doubt, there are all sorts of levels and issues - some serious, some fundamental, some ethical, some personal, and some totally unimportant. Obviously it is those issues that are serious, ethical, fundamental, personal that have the power to consume and hurt. And there are all the layers, levels involved. So, how do you handle doubt? Do you try and not think about it (unsuccessful) or do you face the issue and attempt to arrive at some level of decision? Avoiding only leaves you sinking in that quicksand.

Gossip

Is there any defense of/for gossip? I'm not sure there is because by definition gossip is, according to Webster: someone who chatters idly about others. However I'm inclined to think the definition needs expanding. Gossip is a person but it is also the words. Gossip's content, by its nature, is malevolent - it typically is negative words spread about someone. The 'information'  can be true or it can be unsubstantiated. The latter is the worst because it's so difficult to counter.

There's a quote in one of Anne Perry's books, " ... But one does not repeat what a friend says in a moment of candor, or on an occasion which is held in trust." This would be a good standard by which to judge our words. Actually, talking about a friend or repeating something they said in confidence, to me, is betrayal, with nothing to justify it.

Many times it seems like words just... slip out. But if they are negative about another person, especially unsubstantiated comments/conjecture, what's the justification of saying them at all? What does it impart to the person you are telling? Remember while it does relay information about the person you are talking about, it also relays information about the kind of person you are. I remember someone saying that if a person is relaying information about another person you can expect that they are also relaying information about you.

I've heard some people justify what they say with the words that it is fact they are speaking. And.... ? Unless the person you are talking to has need of your 'facts' what is your point? And facts rarely are only 'idle words'.

Resolving Conflict

What do you do when conflict raises it's head? Some people will do just about anything to avoid a 'fight' and some people will do just about anything to spark a 'fight'. If neither of those two descriptions fit you then you must fall somewhere on the continuum between the two.

While avoiding a fight may seem the noble, the more mature response to conflict it can also be the coward's way out. Harsh? Probably. Those who take this approach typically deny their own beliefs to avoid the animosity and uncomfortable feelings. Or they simply lie. 'Not deigning to reply' is a form of lying because you give a false impression of your own beliefs.

Have you ever really looked at your flight rather than fight approach to resolution? Why do you avoid standing up for what you believe in the face of opposition? Often what happens with a person who isn't totally convinced of their own stand is that they test it against someone who holds an opposing view. Unfortunately the disagreement tends to devolve into personalities rather than the issue.

If you truly have the 'strength of your conviction' then your stance is not one of defiance or threat, it's a stance of confidence. However, when it is attacked then a person with this approach to resolution will stand firm but still be able to listen to the opposing view and handle the 'fight' on this basis rather than personal. The real determination is whether or not you've taken a stand on some issue that you have studied out. Thus you also know the arguments for and against it.

Resolving conflict may seem uncomfortable but it can also be a method of sharpening your sword, your position. Both of you may exit the confrontation convinced of your own stand, the point is... how you make your point - do you engage or do you fight?

Intentions ...

Intentions of the heart - gets you every time, doesn't it? My trifecta is that intentions underlie motives and motives underlie behavior. Yes, there is a difference between intentions and motives. We begin with intentions which requires us to be honest with ourselves as to our why. You can't hide from your intentions nor feign lack of knowledge - they will stare you in the face. You can't misplace them but you can ignore them. The next issue then becomes how you understand your motives.

Can you identify your motive(s) for doing or not doing something? I'm of the belief that no act, no word is motive-less. And being spontaneous is not void of motive. Can you describe for yourself what is happening when you are 'in' your defensive motive stance? Primarily altruistic motive? Avoidance motive? Each will be associated with an emotion (fear, anger, hurt, joy, pride, etc.) that accompanies the motive. And each brings  further clarity to your character.

My belief, that each action has an undergirding motive associated with it, is based on my contention that there is no total random based way of acting and interacting. When you act (and even not acting is an act) on your motive(s) then you are also making a statement about not only the issue at hand but yourself, your character. You really can't divorce character from motive. For me, the 'why' has always been more important than the what. As you act on your why you demonstrate who you are (character).

And at the basis of all is intentions. It will always be your intention that determines your motive and how your motive is acted upon.  Webster defines intention as: "determination to act in a specific way". 'Determination' and 'specific' - neither are words that are weak or inconsequential. Both define purpose. And ultimately, that will speak of character.

Habits

What's your opinion about habits? Are they helpful? Tiresome? Facilitory? Bad habits also exist and they typically are detrimental, but I'm talking about 'good' habits. What are yours? How long does it take for a  repetitious behavior to become a habit? As an example: does your 'routine' include exercise? And, is this exercise something you enjoy or something you think you need to do? The longevity of any habit probably rests on the answer to this question.

On the whole, I favor habits in that they provide order and structure or at least they provide a standard to choose to continue the behavior/habit or to improve/refine/etc. or possibly to eliminate or replace. Actually I propose that we all have some habits, whether we wish to acknowledge them as such or not. And yes, sometimes we don't recognize that it is our habit until it's pointed out to us.

My point is that habits are guideposts, they do provide a standard that we currently are abiding by. According to some 'authority' it takes a repetition of 3 times to change what was a habit into a new habit. And in that time the habit that was becomes no longer appropriate for you. Not too sure what this says about the habit, but I think it does say quite a bit about you and references the enjoy or need question.

IF habits are good, are behaviors we want to encourage in ourselves then when they no longer are viable does this indicate we have grown? That we now can replace the former habit with a new one? Or is it no longer necessary? Suffice it to say that there is no such thing as a complete void. We will use the 'space' if it is vacated permanently... perhaps with a new habit.?

Saving for a rainy day...

Are you saving for a rainy day? Do you even know what that concept means? We, of a certain age, do understand the meaning and, undoubtedly, practice it. But at what point is your saving completed? Have you ever consider this question? When is it OK to begin spending, at least some, of the rainy day savings? And does the... fear of running out of the savings stop us from the spending?

While it really is imperative that we be sensible and wise in our spending habits, especially in this economy, when is it 'sufficient'? Savings really is an excellent habit to be conscious of and this does apply to more than just money - in time, energy, diet, etc. I think it was Julia Childs that said, paraphrased, moderation in all things.... including moderation.

If we scale back or cease saving then we need to consider the other side of the coin - the spending. How, and on what, will you spend - again, your time, energy, money, etc.? Are you/will you spend your accumulation on those things that are important to you? Will you simply 'blow it'? When you look back on your 'spending' will you be pleased?

While you should remember that simply because you have the resources, it doesn't mean you need spend them. However, you also need to know the who/what/why of the savings and how they should be spent. And... a little frivolity occasionally never hurt anyone. There's always a balance, an equilibrium between apparent opposites. Quality of life typically is the decision maker.

Alive!!!

"Until I am dead, I am alive." is a statement in a book by one of my favorite characters. He goes on to say, "Life is a riddle... It is filled with clues along the way, with messages we struggle to understand." Aren't those powerful concepts? So many people are walking around consumed by the negative and positive impacts on their lives. Consumed but not involved. There are schedules to be kept, people to meet, deadlines to be accomplished, places to go... But the real question is - where is the life?

Does the opening quote resonate with you? Does it describe your philosophy of life? Sad to say, many people have no idea what being alive is for themselves. They get so caught up in the day-to-day need to survive they don't 'have time' for the joys of life. Then there are those who seem to drift through life and bend with every wind that blows. To me, those two approaches to life have no zest in them, basically because you are a party to what's happening rather than an engager, a director.

My definition of alive means being fully in the moment. And that means experiencing to the fullest whatever is happening, even if that is only reading a book or sitting quietly listening to music or... It doesn't discount making plans or remembering the past but the focus is on the moment, the now. All the senses are attuned to what is happening and what you are doing.

But that might not be your definition. What is being alive to you? How does it flavor your day? At the end of the day how do you know that your definition has been active? Because it really is important. As I've said before, you need to be the director in your play, you need to be the star of the production.

Validation of worth

Where does your validation of your worth come from? Does it have to come from outside of yourself and if so, who is the other person (people) that validates you? And, most important, what is it you have to do to earn and keep that validation? Perhaps the question should be - do you need outside validation?

To me, the important question is the last one. Do you really need validation of who you are? And if so, why? How important is outside validation? It's easy to say that you don't need others' validation of you but far more difficult to act on that. Outside validation gives us feedback on who it is we are presenting to the world. If that is the basis of our desire for outside validation then it is less intrusive than if we attempt to design ourselves to meet others' perceptions and expectations. You need to know what your need is.

Equally important are the twin issues of : do you have to earn your validation, and how do you maintain it? Two different questions but related. Why do you need to 'earn' validation? I understand the need to earn trust but trust is an entirely different issue. Somehow 'earn' carries with it others' determination on who and what you are.


To maintain this will necessitate a great deal of effort on your part. Perhaps the related questions are: Is your validation under attack? Or do you sense it being threatened? When validation comes from outside of yourself, the questions keep stacking up.

A word of caution. IF your validation comes primarily from other people's opinion of who you are, then this can be fleeting. More important... you must be who you are. If you attempt to portray someone you aren't then you'll end up miserable because of the 'role' you've given yourself to play in the stage adaptation of, "You".

Worst enemy

Do you not need an enemy because you are your own worst enemy? Do you do more to undermine yourself than anyone could ever consider doing to you? Do you shoot yourself in your foot by what you say/do or don't say/do? Do you know what it is that you are doing to yourself and more specifically... do you know why?

If you are your own worst enemy, the only positive thing I can think to tell you is that you are not alone. Many people do more to harm themselves than anyone else could conceive of doing to them. To a degree we all fall into the behavior of setting ourselves up for disaster, but it's not a prevailing method of behavior as it is with some people.

The answer to the question of do you know what it is you are doing to yourself can be answered with a 'yes'. On some level, acknowledged or not, we all know when we are setting ourselves up and the only outcome is some form of disaster. This rarely diverts us. Sometimes we go in 'where angels fear to trod' but we do it for some reason other than self. That is not the situation that I mean. What I'm talking about are those situations where we know with a certainty that this should not be done for any reason. Yet we go. Then we pay the price. And it is always painful. Typically we always say we'll not do that again. And then we do.

Why is the critical question. Why do we do this to ourselves? And why do we repeat behaviors that we know will only end badly? Those are a more difficult series of questions. While they are always individually defined, my suspicion is that the repetition is based in the comfort of the known holding sway over new and unknown results. Even negative results can provide us our identity but choosing a different approach requires a courage that not everyone will make.

Life changing decisions

We all make life changing decisions, maybe not every day but quite often. I wonder if we think (ahead) to the consequences/ramifications that emanate from the decisions we make? Actually I wonder if we recognize the decision to be life changing? The answer is 'probably no' to both questions.

Some examples of what I am calling life changing decisions are: to make/accept a proposal of marriage, to decide on college or military service or..., to accept this job vs that one, to separate from one's spouse, to... there are many different types of decisions and all have impacts. Each decision on issues such as I've described will have far reaching implications and will help to define who you are.

Perhaps not all decisions are life changing but many of them are. Question: do we give them the time/effort and consideration they deserve? How many of the decisions you make are an essentially emotion based? Anger, hurt, excitement, joy... so many emotions and most, if not all, of our decisions have an emotional component. To ignore the impact feelings have on our decisions is illogical.

As you look back on your life from your vantage point, do you support the decisions you made or do you regret them? Obviously none of us chooses our best every time but, in essence, do you see your choices as a pattern or serendipitous? And regardless of which - is this 'good' for you? And if not, are you willing to make a life changing decision on your method of making life decisions?

Ohhh woe's me...

Do you ever have a pity party? Everything good happens to everyone else and you're, at least in your mind, lefts with the dregs? You have untold burdens to bear but everyone else seems to have things handed them on a golden platter? 

Most pity parties range the gamut from really maudlin to only slightly distracted. And the answer to the first question is - 'yes', we all have pity parties at times. How long we stay there is dependent upon ourselves. One of the first things you need to recognize is the what and why are you being distracted.What caused the pity party? Because there is always a cause, typically to our feelings. Never forget that one of the ploys of pity parties is to distract us.

You really can't just toughenin' it out with pity parties. Eventually you have to face them and resolve the underlying issue(s). Though difficult, it is important not to let the pity party control you. Also, you need to remember that if you are a Christian you have absolutely no right to have pity parties, though I know the Lord does let us occasionally wallow. However, I suspect He would prefer we would face whatever needs to be faced and move on.

The reasons we have no right, especially to any prolonged pity party are: He is always with us so we're not alone, He has a plan and purpose for us so we always have a reason to continue, He provides a way out of every temptation we face, the end result is always for our good -when we turn things over to Him. And those points only scratch the surface. The Lord paid a terrible price so that we might have life, and life abundantly. But He never said that we wouldn't face obstacles.

The other point of view

How do you react, respond to a point of view different from your own? For that matter, do you even let them finish their sentence before interrupting? Do you feel you have to 'defend' your view? Or perhaps you tolerantly let them talk but dismiss their thinking out of hand? (This often happens to young people attempting to express their view.) Do you ever remember how you felt/feel when your opinion was/is not only ignored but ridiculed? The point is that a different point of view needs to be seriously considered.

I would propose that the opposing position be viewed in terms of: what commonalities exist and what aspects differ. A common ground is always a good place to begin a discussion.What parts, if any, of the opposing position match yours. If there are none, then what are the major differences - what components of the other view differ from yours. Those two simple steps can begin a discussion, not argument, that can help determine which should be the prevailing view. And perhaps what will happen is that a third position eventually is accepted.

There is always the possibility that the two views will stand alone and separate. What you may find is that each position has value and can coexist. I've always enjoyed the scripture about iron sharpening iron. In the process of discussing the two opposing positions, each will undoubtedly be revised and refined and that's always a positive outcome.

It would be my contention that truth can always stand up to scrutiny, it is never threatened. I believe that the more you meet what is said with the need to defend your position, the less likely you are convinced of what you say you believe.

Attitude Adjustment

We all have times in our lives when we need an attitude adjustment. The subject of the adjustment, hopefully, varies - the need rarely does. I suspect it would be so much simpler and less painful if we could only identify, early on, when an adjustment is necessary rather than discovering in the midst of the need.

This has nothing to do with whether or not you're right or wrong but has everything to do with how you approach this, the attitude you convey, how you react with others, how you present yourself, etc. Who are you when you need an attitude adjustment? Do you convey anger? Irritation? Superiority? Impatience? Martyrdom? And there are a host of other behaviors, unfortunately typically negative ones.

The point is - we all find ourselves in need of an attitude adjustment occasionally. While how we got to that point is extremely important to know and why we are there is equally important, the issue is now that we know what we need - what do we do? Where is our focus? On 'saving face' or 'correcting' or apologizing or moving on...

I don't have your answer, you need to determine that for yourself, but what I attempt to do is to take some time to determine how I got where I am - what triggered the situation? Second is to determine what attitudes need reassessing. Next, if there are apologies to be made I want that done so it doesn't get in the way of moving on. Last is to begin acting on a new mindset.

None of that is rocket science but it does provide me with a context for the attitude adjustment. More important is that I do begin to move on - which is extremely important to me. Standing still or marking time rarely gets anything accomplished.

The ONLY day

Now. Today is the only day you have. I know that the phrase, 'today is the first day of the rest of your life' is quoted often. But... have you thought that today, right now may be your only day? Consider, for a moment, what you would want your final day to look like - and then you will be able to replicate it in a '...rest of your life...' context.

In so many ways, today is the only known. You have this moment that you are alive and breathing but how are you involved in it? Does the understanding, because it has to be more than mere realization, exist that this moment in time is all that you know you have? How does it affect how you respond to others? How does it impact on your activities? What does it say about who you are?

Before you dismiss the concept as unimportant let me give further definition. Approaching each day as your only day does not mean ignoring the future. You need to have goals to aspire to and actions to further you on your journey to accomplishment. But it does place them in a context according to their importance, their relevance. But it is you who are involved in determining the goals and refining them... daily - not 'occasionally'.

Another thing this focus does not do is to ignore your responsibilities. However, it will make a difference in what you commit yourself to. Activities that may seem important outside of a context may lose its relevance. And other things, activities, people may increase in importance. But you may reconsider those ideas, people, 'things' that you commit yourself to tacitly.

The ONLY day concept is not doom and gloom. It is not fatalistic - it is another way to order your thinking. It may enhance your day. It definitely gives you a different sense of ownership.

YOUR Good Life...

What defines your 'good life'? What do you need/want in order to enjoy the good life? Do you have all you need now? What's missing? Is it only material things that are missing or are there some more esoteric 'items'. Actually the place to start is with a definition. YOU have to be able to define and describe your good life or how do you know you've achieved it if you don't?

While the good life is typically played out in our minds in some kind of utopian Camelotish place, reality is rarely that proscribed. However, we can still have the good life without it being utopian. Besides I have this belief, of sorts, that says: since each person's utopia differs this means that it would be populated by only... you. How boring. That would not be utopian for long.

So what comprises your good life? Does it relate to fame or status? Money? New... everything? Or are the items in your list non material like a happy home, a challenging and rewarding job, a sense of accomplishment.... I would never equate or compare one list against another because it is a very personal consideration. My point is simply one of - do you know what your good life looks like?

What would you be doing in your good life place? Still working? Spending time on your hobbies? 'Just enjoying'? This is the one aspect that most people don't think about - what they would be doing. Simple example: it took me two times before I 'retired'. The first time I didn't plan for it but the second time I did. At least for me, simply sitting around is not my activity level - and I do need variety. So now, by taking the time to think about what I would do when I wasn't working, I have a full 'retired' life.

Yes. You can have your good life at any point... as long as you know what it looks like and what you do in that place. Your 'good life' isn't set in stone - it can evolve, change as you evolve and change. It can be one place at 20 and a different place at 50. Just remember to savor it when you are in it.

What are you doing with what you have????

Legitimate question. We all typically are asking for 'more' to accomplish whatever the task/goal that we are pursuing, but what are we doing now with what we have? Marking time? Working toward the accomplishment? Waiting? We obviously have some of the resources/supplies we need or we never would have gotten started, so what are we doing...now?

My guess would be that we would be complaining, marking time or waiting or some combination of those three. Unfair? Perhaps, but you have to look at the situation to judge it. So often we decide that we need 'more' and it is often basically cosmetic. Not always, true. But waiting for 'more' (defined as money, people, time, resources) is not being productive. The question though is - what are we doing with what we have NOW.

I remember hearing the phrase, "Well, I'm doing the best I can ... under the circumstances." There is little one can respond with to that phrase. But the telling is the ... under the circumstances, which is really a way of covering in case something goes 'wrong'. What is 'under the circumstances' other than excuse? We sometimes spend more time on justification, in developing excuses then we do in actual accomplishment.

I know I'm sounding harsh but it may be a fair assessment. And yes, I'm speaking as much to myself as I am to 'others'. We really need to let our needs be made known, perhaps even providing rationale for why we need more but spend our energy and time on what's at hand, what we can do. We need to move forward without the expectation of 'more'. When we do, then if more comes... we have an abundance and can do even .... more.