Do you like new beginnings? The 'today is the first day of the rest of your life' type new beginnings? This is almost like a wiped slate approach - not throwing the baby out with the bathwater but definitely a new start. It does take some courage to do this because it does require a different mindset than the one you've been using - that one didn't work.
Why do you want a new beginning? What would you do differently? There are those who would use a new start to rectify the mistakes from yesterday. Not sure that's possible. What was done, was done. I think the point is to start from this point forward. Not making the same old mistakes but committing to something 'better'. Again, this requires you adopting a new way of looking at life and a new way of reacting. You really can't do something new with old thinking and behaviors.
Have you ever asked yourself what/who is the better you? If you don't know who that is and what it is you do then how can you possibly be your better you? Assuming that the 'new' is what you want, what will you do to change? Change lies at the heart of new - remember the definition of insanity (doing the same thing over again but expecting a different result). Without a different vision, a different attitude you can't be your expression of your better you.
'New' is more than not repeating past mistakes. It has to be proactive and not merely reactive. You have to grow! Since you've spent x number of years being your current you is it even possible to be a new you? Yes. But don't try and do it alone - lean on the One who has made you a new creation. The Lord will partner with you to help you 'improve' but He won't do it for you. There is no magic wand and it does take energy, dedication and commitment. So... is 'new' for you?
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Faith... revisited
Simply... either you have faith in (whatever the focus is) or you don't. And if you don't then you have faith in the opposite. Faith is an either/or. And if 'or' then you have faith in the contrary position/philosophy. To use an example - either you have faith in Jesus that He is who He says He is and did what He said He would do or you reject Him and have faith in His opposite.
With faith it is impossible to equivocate. Faith is 'yes' or it is 'no', it can never be maybe and it can never be both/and. You either have the faith or you don't and either position defines who you are. Actually, faith really underscores everything you do/say. Think about it. Whatever it is you believe in you act out/verbalize in all you do. The 'depth' of your faith, the confidence in what you believe is also displayed.
Faith is one of those foundational pieces - to repeat: either you have it or you don't. In a very real way, faith dictates your decisions because though there is always the option of choice, once you have the foundation you vary rarely deviate from it - it becomes your m.o. I would argue that faith demands actions - you can't just speak it... it is a behavior
If you tell me you don't have faith, though I find it hard to believe, what takes the place of faith? It can be argued that fear is the opposite of faith and therefore what operates in your life. Depending on the context, this is quite possible. However, I tend to believe that there is no such thing as no faith.
So... if your faith is in Jesus - that defines you. If your faith is not in Jesus - who is your faith in? There has to be someone - you have an allegiance to someone, something other than the Lord. We all follow a particular philosophy.
With faith it is impossible to equivocate. Faith is 'yes' or it is 'no', it can never be maybe and it can never be both/and. You either have the faith or you don't and either position defines who you are. Actually, faith really underscores everything you do/say. Think about it. Whatever it is you believe in you act out/verbalize in all you do. The 'depth' of your faith, the confidence in what you believe is also displayed.
Faith is one of those foundational pieces - to repeat: either you have it or you don't. In a very real way, faith dictates your decisions because though there is always the option of choice, once you have the foundation you vary rarely deviate from it - it becomes your m.o. I would argue that faith demands actions - you can't just speak it... it is a behavior
If you tell me you don't have faith, though I find it hard to believe, what takes the place of faith? It can be argued that fear is the opposite of faith and therefore what operates in your life. Depending on the context, this is quite possible. However, I tend to believe that there is no such thing as no faith.
So... if your faith is in Jesus - that defines you. If your faith is not in Jesus - who is your faith in? There has to be someone - you have an allegiance to someone, something other than the Lord. We all follow a particular philosophy.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Pass - Fail
When I was in grade school one of the methods to discover if we had learned what we needed to know as foundation for building on that learning and then moving on was to give us a test. The test was a pass/fail and if you passed, you moved on. If you didn't then the teacher had information about what was lacking in your knowledge or understanding so that you could receive the necessary instruction.
God uses this same approach. And these tests are for our benefit - they are not punishment. Let me say this again: tests are not punishment. How can we possibly move on/up unless we know and understand the place we are in now? For example: Paul, in Ephesians, talks about "... the eyes of your understanding being enlightened that you many know..." (1:17-18). He also discusses being rooted and grounded. (3:17) Grounded in this context means established. With that level of knowledge and understanding then we are able to apply it as well as build upon it.
So what happens if we fail? Just like in school, we get another chance - and another, and another until we fully comprehend what it is that we're learning. Fortunately it's not a 3 strikes and your out approach. The reason for passing the test is as much for us as it is to pass. And though the content is the same, the test will vary. I can assure you that whatever it is that you need to know now and for your future will culminate in a test. How else will you know you know what you know?
Tests don't need to be viewed negatively. Not passing them shouldn't be either. What it should tell us is what it is we need to know so that our future is successful. That's God's plan for us as well. Reread Jeremiah 29:11 if you need reassuring of God's view.
God uses this same approach. And these tests are for our benefit - they are not punishment. Let me say this again: tests are not punishment. How can we possibly move on/up unless we know and understand the place we are in now? For example: Paul, in Ephesians, talks about "... the eyes of your understanding being enlightened that you many know..." (1:17-18). He also discusses being rooted and grounded. (3:17) Grounded in this context means established. With that level of knowledge and understanding then we are able to apply it as well as build upon it.
So what happens if we fail? Just like in school, we get another chance - and another, and another until we fully comprehend what it is that we're learning. Fortunately it's not a 3 strikes and your out approach. The reason for passing the test is as much for us as it is to pass. And though the content is the same, the test will vary. I can assure you that whatever it is that you need to know now and for your future will culminate in a test. How else will you know you know what you know?
Tests don't need to be viewed negatively. Not passing them shouldn't be either. What it should tell us is what it is we need to know so that our future is successful. That's God's plan for us as well. Reread Jeremiah 29:11 if you need reassuring of God's view.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Called... and Equipped
If/when the Lord calls you to a task, He does so but not without first equipping you. It's been said that God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. If so, then there is absolutely nothing that He asks of us that is beyond our ability. That is a terrific relief...and comfort.
While we all tend to dissolve into the questions of: was it really God calling me to do this, or I don't have the skills/talents to do what He asks, to how can I do what's asked and all the other questions, the only real question is will I do what He asks. We can devise all sorts of obstacles to why it shouldn't be me but the only real questions is - will I accept the assignment.
I suspect if everyone waited till 'the time was right' or stopped to count the costs or till all was prepared to accomplish the task then we'd still be back in the first century church. Stop for a minute and think what those 11 men plus others accomplished. It's absolutely beyond them. And if they did stop to wonder if they were able, they also acted on what they believed they were asked to do.
What about you? Are you putting God off on a task that He's asked of you? Have you forgotten that, "...we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." (Ephesians 2:10) Duly note that it is: good works, prepared, we should walk. Sounds like He has prepared the prize for us in advance and all we need do is to follow. We can't get the reward without the walk. But... it is our choice.
While we all tend to dissolve into the questions of: was it really God calling me to do this, or I don't have the skills/talents to do what He asks, to how can I do what's asked and all the other questions, the only real question is will I do what He asks. We can devise all sorts of obstacles to why it shouldn't be me but the only real questions is - will I accept the assignment.
I suspect if everyone waited till 'the time was right' or stopped to count the costs or till all was prepared to accomplish the task then we'd still be back in the first century church. Stop for a minute and think what those 11 men plus others accomplished. It's absolutely beyond them. And if they did stop to wonder if they were able, they also acted on what they believed they were asked to do.
What about you? Are you putting God off on a task that He's asked of you? Have you forgotten that, "...we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." (Ephesians 2:10) Duly note that it is: good works, prepared, we should walk. Sounds like He has prepared the prize for us in advance and all we need do is to follow. We can't get the reward without the walk. But... it is our choice.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Being in the minority....
doesn't necessarily make you 'wrong'. In politics, the minority is considered the 'loyal opposition'. But does it bother you if you're in the minority? Yes, it should make you reanalyze your position but it should never mean an abdication without consideration. I tend to take the position that, unless it is a standard, a principle of your life, all positions are open to reassessment.
One of the first things you need to do is to determine the basis of the 'disagreement'/difference. And the under girding principle in this case is - never assume. Sometimes the disagreement is really only a semantic issue. Sometimes it is a principle. And sometimes it is merely a different way of viewing the same information.
A reasoned argument is the greatest strength of the minority report. No one can seriously consider your position if you only yell, or point fingers, or twist the information. It is the reasoned argument that will eventually win the day. Then again.... I'm one of those 'come let us reason together' types. Even with those who won't agree with your stand won't be able to totally ignore your argument.
The minority position always calls into question the current thinking - and that's good. It makes us verify and confirm what we are saying/doing. It requires us to be precise and provide a good argument for those in the minority to understand the majority's 'why'. The minority is not the enemy - it is the voice of the other opinion.
One of the first things you need to do is to determine the basis of the 'disagreement'/difference. And the under girding principle in this case is - never assume. Sometimes the disagreement is really only a semantic issue. Sometimes it is a principle. And sometimes it is merely a different way of viewing the same information.
A reasoned argument is the greatest strength of the minority report. No one can seriously consider your position if you only yell, or point fingers, or twist the information. It is the reasoned argument that will eventually win the day. Then again.... I'm one of those 'come let us reason together' types. Even with those who won't agree with your stand won't be able to totally ignore your argument.
The minority position always calls into question the current thinking - and that's good. It makes us verify and confirm what we are saying/doing. It requires us to be precise and provide a good argument for those in the minority to understand the majority's 'why'. The minority is not the enemy - it is the voice of the other opinion.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Your mountain(s)
Your mountain may look like a molehill to some and the Alps to you. It may look like a bump in the road or a range of mountains. Size and number are not as relevant as existence. If you have a mountain - it's a mountain.... and it's in the way! The question is: what do you do about it?
There is never just one answer to this question because, though it is a mountain, they do come in types. The first question is: what kind of mountain is it? What is this mountain stopping you from? If the mountain wasn't there - what would be different?
The next question is: do you go around the mountain or over it?... or is it possible to go through it? Typically trying to convince yourself that it really doesn't exist is rarely effective - it only puts off the inevitability of dealing with it. And it is strange about how mountains tend to grow - sometimes escalating quickly.
Interestingly enough - it is in facing your mountain that you discover how big and how extensive it is. Sometimes what you think is a mountain really is only a molehill. But sometimes it is a mountain. However it rarely just... goes away. Fortunately, mountains can be overcome but never through avoiding or in denial.
Unfortunately, no one can really tell you how to deal with your mountain because every person's resources, talents, abilities differ. But, you are an overcomer so in some fashion you will be able to eliminate the impact and effect of your mountain. The predominant issue is you. What's your plan? What are you willing to do to overcome your mountain?
There is never just one answer to this question because, though it is a mountain, they do come in types. The first question is: what kind of mountain is it? What is this mountain stopping you from? If the mountain wasn't there - what would be different?
The next question is: do you go around the mountain or over it?... or is it possible to go through it? Typically trying to convince yourself that it really doesn't exist is rarely effective - it only puts off the inevitability of dealing with it. And it is strange about how mountains tend to grow - sometimes escalating quickly.
Interestingly enough - it is in facing your mountain that you discover how big and how extensive it is. Sometimes what you think is a mountain really is only a molehill. But sometimes it is a mountain. However it rarely just... goes away. Fortunately, mountains can be overcome but never through avoiding or in denial.
Unfortunately, no one can really tell you how to deal with your mountain because every person's resources, talents, abilities differ. But, you are an overcomer so in some fashion you will be able to eliminate the impact and effect of your mountain. The predominant issue is you. What's your plan? What are you willing to do to overcome your mountain?
Friday, February 18, 2011
Meeeeeeeeeeeee
Though we may not say it out loud, we really think about ourselves a great deal. The phrase that jumps to mind is one, again not always verbalized but definitely thought, that goes like, "But.... what about meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!????" Typically this is said in a slightly whiney voice. Actually we are our favorite topic. We are a self serving, self absorbed creation. That was not criticism. It is a statement of fact without any particular value placed on it.
Though there is no proof of this mindset, it can be argued that heroes operate on a different wave length - those who act in the best interests of others, most of the time to the possible harm of themselves, also hold to a non self serving principle. They act based on what they believe is right rather than a high concern for themselves. That's why they are heroes.
I suspect that it can also be argued that this mindset is also part of everyone's DNA, it's just that many don't choose to operate on that level. However, if there is an overriding principle that is in play, there is a great chance that more people will rise to that standard. But - it is a hope, not necessarily a fact.
Thank heavens Jesus didn't use this phrase when He accepted His destiny as Savior of mankind. The closest He came to this was His prayer of - "Abba Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me..." (Mark 14:36). But the last part of the sentence says it all, "...nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will." The context of His 'what about me' was the will of the Father. He knew, accepted that what the Father planned far outweighed the momentary discomfort - even the discomfort of death.
We can all operate on this same concept - that the Father knows His plans for us and that they are for a hope and future. (Jeremiah 29:11) But as in all things - it is our choice whether or not to accept it.
Though there is no proof of this mindset, it can be argued that heroes operate on a different wave length - those who act in the best interests of others, most of the time to the possible harm of themselves, also hold to a non self serving principle. They act based on what they believe is right rather than a high concern for themselves. That's why they are heroes.
I suspect that it can also be argued that this mindset is also part of everyone's DNA, it's just that many don't choose to operate on that level. However, if there is an overriding principle that is in play, there is a great chance that more people will rise to that standard. But - it is a hope, not necessarily a fact.
Thank heavens Jesus didn't use this phrase when He accepted His destiny as Savior of mankind. The closest He came to this was His prayer of - "Abba Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me..." (Mark 14:36). But the last part of the sentence says it all, "...nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will." The context of His 'what about me' was the will of the Father. He knew, accepted that what the Father planned far outweighed the momentary discomfort - even the discomfort of death.
We can all operate on this same concept - that the Father knows His plans for us and that they are for a hope and future. (Jeremiah 29:11) But as in all things - it is our choice whether or not to accept it.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Life happens...
'Life happens' is a phrase I use quite often - and have for some time. It seems to sum up and explain those 'things' that occur every day that seem to defy explanation. Typically these are activities, events, people, 'things' that seem to have no origination point yet ... happen.
When I first started using this phrase I noticed that people tended to react to it with an understanding, a knowledge of the appropriateness of it. Yet, I'm not sure that I've ever provided or heard a definition. Perhaps it the universality of the phrase and the lack of definition that enhances its use. Obviously it's a 'known', a 'given'.
However, if I were pushed to provide a definition I would say that 'life happens' is a description of what is happening that wasn't expected. It can be used to explain both positive as well as negative 'happenings'. I use it to respond to a situation that I really am not certain how to respond, and it always surprises me that the other person/people always nod sagely to my comment.
Somehow I believe we all need these phrases since they also provide a way of responding without causing hurt to others or yourself or misunderstanding. The phrase is neutral and conveys no value. And somehow it really does explain what is happening. Actually the only variable in this is us - how we respond to 'life happens'.
When I first started using this phrase I noticed that people tended to react to it with an understanding, a knowledge of the appropriateness of it. Yet, I'm not sure that I've ever provided or heard a definition. Perhaps it the universality of the phrase and the lack of definition that enhances its use. Obviously it's a 'known', a 'given'.
However, if I were pushed to provide a definition I would say that 'life happens' is a description of what is happening that wasn't expected. It can be used to explain both positive as well as negative 'happenings'. I use it to respond to a situation that I really am not certain how to respond, and it always surprises me that the other person/people always nod sagely to my comment.
Somehow I believe we all need these phrases since they also provide a way of responding without causing hurt to others or yourself or misunderstanding. The phrase is neutral and conveys no value. And somehow it really does explain what is happening. Actually the only variable in this is us - how we respond to 'life happens'.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Laughter
I know this may sound trivial, but have you ever considered laughter and its effects? Do you remember the last time you had a real, hearty, long lasting, body involved laugh? This is the kind of a laugh that is a total experience - not a smile, not a slight chuckle - a laugh.
Sooo... what makes you laugh? What is it that tickles your funny bone? Laughter really is a health producing activity. The reason is that laughter involves all of you - mind and muscle. When you laugh it also affects those around you. Have you ever seen just one person in a group laughing and no one else affected? Of course not. Laughter is contagious. Laughter makes you feel good and it makes those around you feel good.
But what makes us laugh? Some of the same things make all of us laugh and some 'types' of humor affect us differently. Example: I don't like the type of humor that makes fun of someone else. This means that I love the Britcom "As Time Goes By" but I've never really appreciated "Keeping Up Appearances". I also don't like humor that is physically hurtful - like that portrayed by the 3 Stooges. I know they are an institution, I just don't like that form of humor.
Some people gasp with laughter at a good pun, others groan. Some people like slapstick others find it boring. Cary Grant's deft portrayals that sometimes are displayed through only an expression are hysterical to some and a yawn to others. The 'types' of humor seem endless. The question is - do you know what makes you laugh?
Laughter can take the sting out of disappointment. Laughter can be a shared experience with others. Laughter can provide a break from what is happening and thus provide a moment to reconsider. And the list of the benefits of laughter is endless. Scripture tells us that,"... a merry heart doeth good like a medicine..." It does.
Sooo... what makes you laugh? What is it that tickles your funny bone? Laughter really is a health producing activity. The reason is that laughter involves all of you - mind and muscle. When you laugh it also affects those around you. Have you ever seen just one person in a group laughing and no one else affected? Of course not. Laughter is contagious. Laughter makes you feel good and it makes those around you feel good.
But what makes us laugh? Some of the same things make all of us laugh and some 'types' of humor affect us differently. Example: I don't like the type of humor that makes fun of someone else. This means that I love the Britcom "As Time Goes By" but I've never really appreciated "Keeping Up Appearances". I also don't like humor that is physically hurtful - like that portrayed by the 3 Stooges. I know they are an institution, I just don't like that form of humor.
Some people gasp with laughter at a good pun, others groan. Some people like slapstick others find it boring. Cary Grant's deft portrayals that sometimes are displayed through only an expression are hysterical to some and a yawn to others. The 'types' of humor seem endless. The question is - do you know what makes you laugh?
Laughter can take the sting out of disappointment. Laughter can be a shared experience with others. Laughter can provide a break from what is happening and thus provide a moment to reconsider. And the list of the benefits of laughter is endless. Scripture tells us that,"... a merry heart doeth good like a medicine..." It does.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Life Lessons
Every day life teaches us new lessons or reinforces ones already learned. But sometimes it is a brand new learning. It makes no difference if 'everyone knows', when it's new to you - it's a new learning. There may be nothing new under the sun but since not everyone knows everything, every day has the possibility to provide new learnings or new understandings. For me, that's exciting!
However, the caveat in this is that it is our responsibility to put to use what we learn. Simply because life presents lessons means nothing until the lessons are applied. Most of the time, life lessons are experientially learned. These kinds of learnings have immediate application. What is learned typically stays with you always - it underscores other learnings.
What also needs to be acknowledged is that there are negative life lessons as well as positive ones. How we relate to the day typically depends on which of the two we emphasize and focus on. Both teach, both tell us more about ourselves and how we react. Both are indispensable for growth.
However, the caveat in this is that it is our responsibility to put to use what we learn. Simply because life presents lessons means nothing until the lessons are applied. Most of the time, life lessons are experientially learned. These kinds of learnings have immediate application. What is learned typically stays with you always - it underscores other learnings.
What also needs to be acknowledged is that there are negative life lessons as well as positive ones. How we relate to the day typically depends on which of the two we emphasize and focus on. Both teach, both tell us more about ourselves and how we react. Both are indispensable for growth.
Life lessons are not experienced or maintained in isolation. Life lessons are building blocks - sometimes they complement each other, occasionally they seem to contradict. Together, though, they form how we interact with our world.
So what are Life Lessons? They are those learnings, understandings that form the core of our individual MO. They are part of the vast storehouse of information but are the significant influences on our lives. They also typically can be recalled in complete detail because they are our building blocks.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
What do you need?
The context for this question is: to be happy and 'successful' according to your definition. What needs to happen for you to attain everything you need? Duly note that I didn't say 'want'. Want and need are two different states - relate-able but not the same. Is your need materialistic based? people based? personal based? Do you even know what you need?
One of the clearest examples of someone who 'had it all' is Solomon in scripture. He had wealth beyond measure, esteem from all - except perhaps his son, he was the wisest man because of his request of God (1King 3:12, 4:31), credited with writing scripture. And yet... he was empty; he said that all was futility (Ecclesiastes 1:2). This begs the question of what was it he needed? What was lacking?
Actually the answer is rather simple. If you don't start with yourself then all the rest has no meaning because it is outside of you. "Things" never make up for the state of your soul. How healthy your soul is determines how full your life is. Your soul is the essence of who you are.
Just to get simplistic - the definition of 'soul' is: your mind, will and emotions. Your soul is different than your spirit - your spirit will live forever. For this discussion we are talking about 'soul'. Therefore, as you consider your soul - how healthy is it? Are you striving? Are you content? Is your mind creative or is it perplexed? Is your will strong or is it wishy washy? Are your emotions expressive or hampered?
As the state of your soul is so goes the state of your life. So, again - what do you need? Perhaps it's a question of getting what you need? Or... are you fulfilled? I would strongly suggest that your relationship with the Lord is the foundation for a strong life. Outside of Him - there is no life.
One of the clearest examples of someone who 'had it all' is Solomon in scripture. He had wealth beyond measure, esteem from all - except perhaps his son, he was the wisest man because of his request of God (1King 3:12, 4:31), credited with writing scripture. And yet... he was empty; he said that all was futility (Ecclesiastes 1:2). This begs the question of what was it he needed? What was lacking?
Actually the answer is rather simple. If you don't start with yourself then all the rest has no meaning because it is outside of you. "Things" never make up for the state of your soul. How healthy your soul is determines how full your life is. Your soul is the essence of who you are.
Just to get simplistic - the definition of 'soul' is: your mind, will and emotions. Your soul is different than your spirit - your spirit will live forever. For this discussion we are talking about 'soul'. Therefore, as you consider your soul - how healthy is it? Are you striving? Are you content? Is your mind creative or is it perplexed? Is your will strong or is it wishy washy? Are your emotions expressive or hampered?
As the state of your soul is so goes the state of your life. So, again - what do you need? Perhaps it's a question of getting what you need? Or... are you fulfilled? I would strongly suggest that your relationship with the Lord is the foundation for a strong life. Outside of Him - there is no life.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Why...???
'Why not' or 'Because' is not always the best response to the question of 'why'. Besides, how can you respond to the other person when their response to you is why not or because? You have just been effectively stopped short of understanding. Equally important in this is to remember your feelings when someone has done this to you so you don't do the same thing to someone asking you 'why'.
Another consideration to not quickly responding is that 'why' can also have a variety of contexts so before responding make certain you are actually responding to the one asked. For example: sometimes there are unspoken words after the why, such as - (why) meeeeeee!? That particular why is the most difficult to respond to because even if you know, the other person may not want to hear it.
I was extremely fortunate growing up because my incessant 'whys' were rare responded to with why not or because from my parents. I think my Mom was especially keen on providing understanding - probably to avoid more scraped knees, metaphorically speaking, for her children. I do believe that why has always been one of my favorite words.
Why is a movement word. It's not static and it never leaves you where you are - it moves you on... to other whys or to understanding or both. Why is also a creative word in that it forces you to not respond automatically - you have to have reason to support your position. Why requires you to reassess and sometimes this means thinking outside the box.
Don't assume that a 'why' is a challenge to you, your position - it may be a legitimate question. And in your explanation you may find either confirmation of what you are saying or it may lead you into new patterns. Why is really a splendid word.
Another consideration to not quickly responding is that 'why' can also have a variety of contexts so before responding make certain you are actually responding to the one asked. For example: sometimes there are unspoken words after the why, such as - (why) meeeeeee!? That particular why is the most difficult to respond to because even if you know, the other person may not want to hear it.
I was extremely fortunate growing up because my incessant 'whys' were rare responded to with why not or because from my parents. I think my Mom was especially keen on providing understanding - probably to avoid more scraped knees, metaphorically speaking, for her children. I do believe that why has always been one of my favorite words.
Why is a movement word. It's not static and it never leaves you where you are - it moves you on... to other whys or to understanding or both. Why is also a creative word in that it forces you to not respond automatically - you have to have reason to support your position. Why requires you to reassess and sometimes this means thinking outside the box.
Don't assume that a 'why' is a challenge to you, your position - it may be a legitimate question. And in your explanation you may find either confirmation of what you are saying or it may lead you into new patterns. Why is really a splendid word.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Perception
Tricky. The problem is that how you see something may not be, probably isn't, how another person might see the same thing. It's a matter of our individual perception. And our perception is determine by our frame of reference. And... our frame of reference is determined by our experiences.
No two people, even those in the same household, see everything through the same eyes. This is when things get 'interesting' because, unfortunately, we all tend to act on the assumption that we all are seeing the same thing in the same way. We may have shared experiences but rarely do we see things precisely the same way.
One of the more interesting attributes of perception is that it typically is an is. If you think it is, then it is. And most people are prone to hold, tightly, on to their perceptions without thinking about them. It isn't that I am suggesting you abandon your perceptions, not sure one can, but to be aware that you are operating from your own perception. This means, by 'definition', that the other person is too.
Perception is also helpful because it gives us a platform from which to understand the world we are looking at/interacting with. Often we have to make 'snap' decisions and our perceptions form the basis for doing that. Without perception we would be operating deaf and blind. What we need to be aware of however, is that everyone does this so when we don't understand why someone reacts differently than we expected, we need to take the time to talk with them to understand.
No two people, even those in the same household, see everything through the same eyes. This is when things get 'interesting' because, unfortunately, we all tend to act on the assumption that we all are seeing the same thing in the same way. We may have shared experiences but rarely do we see things precisely the same way.
One of the more interesting attributes of perception is that it typically is an is. If you think it is, then it is. And most people are prone to hold, tightly, on to their perceptions without thinking about them. It isn't that I am suggesting you abandon your perceptions, not sure one can, but to be aware that you are operating from your own perception. This means, by 'definition', that the other person is too.
Perception is also helpful because it gives us a platform from which to understand the world we are looking at/interacting with. Often we have to make 'snap' decisions and our perceptions form the basis for doing that. Without perception we would be operating deaf and blind. What we need to be aware of however, is that everyone does this so when we don't understand why someone reacts differently than we expected, we need to take the time to talk with them to understand.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Independent
Actually I should have made the title all caps and then put a dozen or so exclamation marks after the word. We really are an independent/I can do it! creation. It sometimes seems that the younger we are the more we are prone to this behavior - actually age has little to do with it. And it's true - many times we can do it by ourselves. But simply because we can - is this the best approach?
I'm not convinced that everything we do needs to be done alone. Typically this simply means that we want to do what we want to do, how we want to do it, when we want to do it. Independent is defined as 'my way'. Again, not necessarily a negative but it can become one especially if we believe we have to be the expert in everything. Not really logical. Then again, logical and independent are not necessarily bedfellows.
There are a couple of reasons I believe that at least one other person may be an important 'partner'. One: no one can see all the options and ramifications from acting in a particular way. A second set of eyes might provide critical information. Two: both God and the Lord operated from a 'joint' approach - when God gave Adam a 'helpmate', when the ark was populated by two of each species, when Jesus sent his disciples out two by two - all examples of two being a better approach than just one.
Working with another person to accomplish a goal does not necessarily impact on one's independence/dependence continuum. However, if we get into a 'who's in charge' then we do run the risk of creating friction. If we are more concerned with who gets the credit (or who doesn't get the blame) then we set up a dilemma, a conflict. The bottom line seems to be: what's most important - independence or cooperation, sharing the responsibility and credit or accepting the total responsibility.
I'm not convinced that everything we do needs to be done alone. Typically this simply means that we want to do what we want to do, how we want to do it, when we want to do it. Independent is defined as 'my way'. Again, not necessarily a negative but it can become one especially if we believe we have to be the expert in everything. Not really logical. Then again, logical and independent are not necessarily bedfellows.
There are a couple of reasons I believe that at least one other person may be an important 'partner'. One: no one can see all the options and ramifications from acting in a particular way. A second set of eyes might provide critical information. Two: both God and the Lord operated from a 'joint' approach - when God gave Adam a 'helpmate', when the ark was populated by two of each species, when Jesus sent his disciples out two by two - all examples of two being a better approach than just one.
Working with another person to accomplish a goal does not necessarily impact on one's independence/dependence continuum. However, if we get into a 'who's in charge' then we do run the risk of creating friction. If we are more concerned with who gets the credit (or who doesn't get the blame) then we set up a dilemma, a conflict. The bottom line seems to be: what's most important - independence or cooperation, sharing the responsibility and credit or accepting the total responsibility.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Can't
Is there a more negative word? It stops all further discussion/activity. Whether it's a 'it' can't or you can't or I can't, a 'can't' completely ends, halts, stops everything. But 'can't' can be a control device to stop you from proceeding. Granted there really are can'ts in the world or at least a strong 'you really shouldn't', but... is this a reasoned 'can't'? And how can you find out? 'Won't' I can deal with but 'can't'....
Yet we used this word every day in our conversations. Most of our can'ts really are won'ts or don't-wanna-so-I'll-say can't. Do we ever consider the impact of our can'ts? Probably not. A corollary question is: in stating our can't are we also attempting to stop the other person from proceeding? It's almost a ... if the other person doesn't do 'it' then we don't need to feel that badly if we don't - it assuages our guilt feelings.
If we so blithely use the word with others, how often do we use the same word with God? I wonder if He gets frustrated with our can'ts? Think about it - He tells us in His word that "... with God, all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26). However, we've just said that it can't. How many times and in how many varieties of ways does He have to demonstrate that He can!? He does. He will. Telling God 'can't' is telling Him you don't believe His word, that you believe there are can'ts in the world.
Yes I realize that's not what you mean. And yes I realize that there really are can'ts in the world but how shallow are our can'ts? We are a 'can do' creation and need to live this out. He's given us the power to be a can do in a can't world.
Yet we used this word every day in our conversations. Most of our can'ts really are won'ts or don't-wanna-so-I'll-say can't. Do we ever consider the impact of our can'ts? Probably not. A corollary question is: in stating our can't are we also attempting to stop the other person from proceeding? It's almost a ... if the other person doesn't do 'it' then we don't need to feel that badly if we don't - it assuages our guilt feelings.
If we so blithely use the word with others, how often do we use the same word with God? I wonder if He gets frustrated with our can'ts? Think about it - He tells us in His word that "... with God, all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26). However, we've just said that it can't. How many times and in how many varieties of ways does He have to demonstrate that He can!? He does. He will. Telling God 'can't' is telling Him you don't believe His word, that you believe there are can'ts in the world.
Yes I realize that's not what you mean. And yes I realize that there really are can'ts in the world but how shallow are our can'ts? We are a 'can do' creation and need to live this out. He's given us the power to be a can do in a can't world.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Destiny - it's all about you
Where are you in your journey to your destiny? How are your dreams shaping your destiny? Perhaps the questions are: do you believe in your destiny? And... do you believe in your dreams? The operative word in both questions is 'your'. Let's face it - YOU are the only one who can achieve your destiny and YOU are the only one who can act on your dreams. It really is all about you.
Starting with the bottom line... achieving your goals, your destiny will require diligence, it will require commitment, it will entail sacrifice - and those are only three of the requirements. Are you willing to do what it takes to attain it? Not everyone will but that's not important - what about you? Will, are you?
Regardless of whether or not you commit to your destiny, you will achieve 'something'. The only question is if you will achieve all that you are able to, all that is available to you. It won't just drop into your lap - you will have to dedicate yourself to doing all that you can, all that your destiny requires from you.
It's the journey to your destiny that determines who you are. As you look backwards to where you started and forward to where this journey can take you - are you satisfied? If you are satisfied - does this propel you forward? If you aren't - does this reignite your desire? It has always been and it will always be - all about you.
Starting with the bottom line... achieving your goals, your destiny will require diligence, it will require commitment, it will entail sacrifice - and those are only three of the requirements. Are you willing to do what it takes to attain it? Not everyone will but that's not important - what about you? Will, are you?
Regardless of whether or not you commit to your destiny, you will achieve 'something'. The only question is if you will achieve all that you are able to, all that is available to you. It won't just drop into your lap - you will have to dedicate yourself to doing all that you can, all that your destiny requires from you.
It's the journey to your destiny that determines who you are. As you look backwards to where you started and forward to where this journey can take you - are you satisfied? If you are satisfied - does this propel you forward? If you aren't - does this reignite your desire? It has always been and it will always be - all about you.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Death ..... loss or homegoing celebration?
Death is difficult to deal with. Perhaps it's the finality that makes it difficult or the sense of loss, the pain of separation. There also always seems to be the accompanying emotion of guilt. Regardless of what you have or have not done for the person who died you always feel you haven't done enough.
And the emotions that accompany death..... your feelings are the key. At some point our focus shifts from the deceased person to ourselves. WE feel robbed, threatened, guilty, wishing we could have one last moment to say something or do something with/for that person. But at this moment the focus is us, not the other person.
Typically one of two emotions prevail. Either we become stoic or we are heartbroken to the point of sobbing uncontrollably. I tend of be the stoic type but breakdown later when I'm by myself. Not sure why I take this approach but I do. There's no good, better, best approach - but it is helpful when we know what it is that we do.
As painful as funerals can be, for the Christian they should be a time of celebration. The loved one has gone home to be with the Lord and the other friends and family who have chosen to make Jesus Lord.
Homegoing should be joyful, thus the funeral 'service' should be joyful - however they rarely are. We should be celebrating the person's life and the fact that they did choose to make Jesus Lord. We should be happy knowing we will see that person again. Intellectually - I suspect we do. Emotionally... maybe not. Then again... funerals really are for those left behind, not the person going home.
And the emotions that accompany death..... your feelings are the key. At some point our focus shifts from the deceased person to ourselves. WE feel robbed, threatened, guilty, wishing we could have one last moment to say something or do something with/for that person. But at this moment the focus is us, not the other person.
Typically one of two emotions prevail. Either we become stoic or we are heartbroken to the point of sobbing uncontrollably. I tend of be the stoic type but breakdown later when I'm by myself. Not sure why I take this approach but I do. There's no good, better, best approach - but it is helpful when we know what it is that we do.
As painful as funerals can be, for the Christian they should be a time of celebration. The loved one has gone home to be with the Lord and the other friends and family who have chosen to make Jesus Lord.
Homegoing should be joyful, thus the funeral 'service' should be joyful - however they rarely are. We should be celebrating the person's life and the fact that they did choose to make Jesus Lord. We should be happy knowing we will see that person again. Intellectually - I suspect we do. Emotionally... maybe not. Then again... funerals really are for those left behind, not the person going home.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Memories...
Memories.... pleasant? Unhappy? Some memories make you laugh. Some make you cry. But all memories evoke a response, a reaction from you - they are always laden with emotions. That's not a negative statement... or a positive one, it is a given.
Many times they come unbidden - triggered by a song, a smell, some words, a picture - and you are transported back to that time and with those people. Sometimes they come as a result of our own attempt to remember. My point is that we all have memories, they can evoke a strong reaction, and they do impact on our now. Example: if what we are remembering had a positive outcome then we are more willing to act accordingly at this moment. If our experience was negative then we are more likely to hesitate to continue.
One question is - once they come, what do you do with them? Savor? Repulse? ...and all the other emotions on that continuum. I've also discovered that memories can evoke two diametrically opposed emotions at the same time. And both may be partially true. Since memories provide us information, that's how they should be viewed - as a reminder of what was but only if a behavior is repeated is it a harbinger of what will be.
Memories are our glimpses of what was. They can become springboards for future decisions but... they should never rule! Actually what I try to do is to accept them for what they are at that moment, and then move on. Sometimes I actually succeed at doing this.
Many times they come unbidden - triggered by a song, a smell, some words, a picture - and you are transported back to that time and with those people. Sometimes they come as a result of our own attempt to remember. My point is that we all have memories, they can evoke a strong reaction, and they do impact on our now. Example: if what we are remembering had a positive outcome then we are more willing to act accordingly at this moment. If our experience was negative then we are more likely to hesitate to continue.
One question is - once they come, what do you do with them? Savor? Repulse? ...and all the other emotions on that continuum. I've also discovered that memories can evoke two diametrically opposed emotions at the same time. And both may be partially true. Since memories provide us information, that's how they should be viewed - as a reminder of what was but only if a behavior is repeated is it a harbinger of what will be.
Memories are our glimpses of what was. They can become springboards for future decisions but... they should never rule! Actually what I try to do is to accept them for what they are at that moment, and then move on. Sometimes I actually succeed at doing this.
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