Beginnings are hard...

There is always an undercurrent of excitement that accompanies something new: new home, new job, new... It's what I call the clean slate promise. At this point, nothing has been written, there's no predetermination of what will happen - it's all new. And new, while it can be slightly anxiety ridden, is always exciting. New opportunities always hold the promises of the possibility to shine - to do/be something 'better' than the last time, to build on what was.

The flip side to this is the loss of what was known. There is the lingering nostalgia for what was - the comfort of the familiar. And it is at this point that we all remember that beginnings are hard. They can be awkward because we are now in unfamiliar territory. We don't know anything or anyone.

Just as you can't drag yesterday into today, you can't drag what was into what is. There may be aspects that 'fit' but you won't know that initially. In every new situation the order of the day should be analysis - what are the expectations, what are the promises, what are the obstacles. And this analysis should accompany every new situation regardless of what 'it' is.

Beginning can be hard but they don't need to be terrifying. The opportunities to meet new people, make new friends, and no one said you had to throw the baby out with the bathwater (eliminating old friends) can become a time for your own growth in a new environment.

Remember that the old can be a bridge to your new... just don't let it be an anchor.

Trust 2

I firmly believe in trusting but I also firmly believe in exercising care when you do trust. In a previous discussion on trust I spent most of the time talking about you trusting others and in asking a lot of questions about how you decide whether or not to trust another person. Actually the answers to those questions form the basis for who and how you trust. They may have seemed simplistic questions but they still are foundational.

I also firmly believe that since we are not islands unto ourselves, we need to be able to trust others on some level. The other person we trust is the sounding board to our thoughts and ideas. To me, the key in this is that the other person not be judgmental and that they allow me the freedom to change.

There's an additional quality. This may sound egotistical but I need someone who is at least as wise as I feel I need. Wisdom is a key quality. I may trust others on some level but it is the person that has 'proved' over time that they are wise that is my 'go to' person. There are not many who enter that rarefied air for me, but as long as there is one then I don't feel I'm totally on my own.

Each person has that quality/attribute that is the most critical, the most important for their 'go to' person. My suggestion is that it is far worse to do the round peg in square hole. You are better waiting to discover that person than simply assigning that role to someone who doesn't fit. You can lose a good friend if your expectations from them is not what they are able to provide.

Trust

Trust is an extremely important concept. But it isn't just theory or a philosophical construct because trust permeates our interactions and colors our relationships. Trust is also a two edged sword - your trust of others, others trust of you. It is not automatically a reciprocal situation. I don't believe there is anything remotely reciprocal about trust.

It is often said that trust is earned. True. But what is required for trust to exist? While it will appear sophomoric, I believe it's important to have a common definition to work from. For sake of this discussion, I turned to Webster who defines trust as: firm belief in the honesty, reliability of another, faith. Further definition includes: confident expectation, hope. From this foundation we can conclude that trust becomes a powerful basis in our interactions.

We can also conclude that this foundation, that the basis is experientially understood. I seriously doubt that anyone would trust another simply on their words alone. Thus time is a component in the development of trust. One interaction would not suffice to credit another with trust.

Simple question - who, what do you trust? As you look back on the person/idea what led you to trust? Are there a lot of people/ideas in which you place your trust? And equally important - has your trust ever been betrayed? How did you handle this... or didn't you? We've basically been talking about trusting others... but... another question: do you apply the same standards to yourself, to be a trustworthy person, as you do to others?

Burn out

'Toast' is usually the stage beyond 'burned out'. This is an extremely incapacitating and debilitating position. Perhaps you've not experience 'toast' but I suspect 'burn out' is familiar. We've all suffered being burned out, many of us have experienced this a number of times and have promised ourselves that this last time was the last time. If you happen to belong to that number then I must ask - what are you doing now that's different from before? Remember the definition of insanity: doing the same thing again but expecting a different result - not going to happen.

Many times burn out occurs before we are aware we are on its path. However, there are signs that typically point to this that we can observe and correct. Burn out typically manifests itself in fatigue and irritability. There never are enough hours to accomplish the goal and we feel responsible for our inability to succeed, whether or not it really is our fault. Fatigue typically always births irritability which is the product of frustration.

Sometimes people get into an excuse mode and attempt to respond to any and all perceived criticism with some excuse. Other people just give up, throw in the towel. The goal was unattainable in the first place so why continue. Do any of these feelings or behaviors sound familiar?

The point is that burn out can be averted. When we catch ourselves is self destructive feelings and behaviors we can stop and: seek prayer, ask for help, recognize we have limitations and do what we are able to do. Each person has their own answer to correcting this situation. Mostly we need to take a break, some time away from our situation. And yes, that isn't always easy but it really can be done. We are not indispensable.

If you don't want to experience burn out then you have to take action to stop its impact. You can't continue doing what you've always done or you'll get what you've always gotten.

Discombobulated

At some point, or multiple times, in all of our lives we find ourselves totally flummoxed! Through frustration or confusion or inadequate information or any number of other aspects, we simply don't know what to do next. What do you do?

Do you ask a trusted colleague, one who would understand your predicament, what they would do? Do you simply continue on the path you're on and muddle through? Do you change your plans? Do you 'hope' for the best? Do you quickly look around for a scapegoat? I'm sure all of us have used all of the above. And, as a result, we've undoubtedly had to pick up the pieces later.

It's interesting that in these situations, especially for the Christian, we don't do the obvious - stop and pray. I know that sounds simplistic but sometimes it's the simplest answer that is the best and most effective. Prayer is sometimes a time to catch your breath, calm your soul, and ask the One who has all the answers what you should do.

I'd like to say that, of course, that's what I do. Ya right! I'm like you and sometimes act before thinking. However... if we would only stop and let the Lord direct us then disaster could be averted or a positive resolution may present itself. Scripture teaches that trials and temptations will come but that He always prepares a way through. We simply have to align ourselves with His answer.

Prayer is the tool we've been given to stop the potential problem(s) and we've also been given each other to pray together over the situation. Nowhere does it say we have to do everything on our own. And if the problems can't be avoided then we can meet them with the answer.

Your reaction - calm or frantic - can give you your answer as to where you are and what you need to do next. Discombobulated will come but it doesn't need to control you. Stop. Pray. And go forth confidently.

Steward-ship

Most people in the church world view finances as The focus for stewardship. And indeed most of the examples from scripture reinforce that view. A steward is typically the person who has charge of the money of his 'master'. A more contemporary definition would include those whose primary responsibility is to serve food and drink. But in either case, the emphasis is on the servant role of the steward, one who is responsible for other's assets - not their own.

One of the critical aspects to remember is that as a steward you aren't just responsible for your handling of finances. How you steward your time, energy, talents, gifts are equally important. All of those 'qualities' belong to you - it's the Father's gift to you, to do with as you decide. How you utilize them is your gift back to the Father. But these are as valuable and important to steward as is the financial. In all cases, the value is not in saving them, but in how you employ them.... for the benefit of the owner.

Rather than focusing on only the servant component we should look to the honor that is accorded us when we are promoted stewards. The underlying quality a steward must exhibit is trustworthiness. One can always make mistakes but if you aren't trustworthy then you will never succeed as a steward.

The scripture in Matthew (13:12) states ... "For whoever has, to him more will be given..." Luke (12:48) emphasizes the importance: "...to whom much is given, from him much will be required..." These two similar scriptures tell us the importance of the steward's role. It also indicates that as you are faithful with a little, more will be given you (Matthew 25:21).

If you were your master, would you be pleased with your stewardship?

Justifying Faith

The final consideration in this brief overview discussion on faith is the fact that faith justifies us. 'Justify' is one of those words that is rarely given sufficient importance. Webster says: to show to be just, right - to be free from blame or guilt. It was this revelation by Luther than gave rise to the Reformation. Justification was a gift given by God based on our faith in Jesus - no other act, nothing that we could 'earn'. With that understanding there was an enormous sense of relief and release that people received.

However, being justified doesn't give the person license to do anything they want, whenever they feel like it. This is the aspect of faith that requires responsibility on the part of those accepting this gift. Realizing that we have been redeemed from the curse, in right standing with the Father, and justified by our faith in Jesus as our only way of salvation we now must live accordingly - we are no longer our own, we were purchased by a great price.

It is exciting to be justified, to be free from blame or guilt but our price in this transaction is to walk in, live by faith. Even if our faith is no greater than the smallest mustard seed (Matthew 17:20) it will grow into a mighty tree as we act on it. But faith is not something you place on the shelf and dust off to display to others. Faith is mighty and can direct our daily lives as we grow.

In Romans 3 Paul says (v. 24) that "...we have been justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus..." (v. 28) "Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith..." That is our inheritance, that is our gift and... that is our choice to accept.

Faith, continued

In no way should this be considered as an exhaustive discussion about faith. But I did want to indicate the 3 'descriptions' I felt were foundational, crucial to any understanding or appreciation about faith. We've briefly looked at the definition that talks about the unseen attributes of faith. Next is the realization that we can never pleased God without faith.

One of the more telling scriptures is when Jesus asks whether or not He'll find faith when he returns (Luke 18:8). Obviously our faith is important. Jesus wouldn't express concern if faith wasn't critical. Have you ever wondered about this? The reason for the concern...? Perhaps it relates to the fact that it is impossible to please God without it. Somehow, as important as that is, I think it's more.

In my world of definitions, faith is that step beyond belief. Belief rests in those things that can be substantiated, faith requires... more. James notes that even the demons believe (2:19) but this is not enough. So, what is it that faith does? Faith acts. And acts not on the basis of known but on the basis of unknown, unseen. James goes on to say that faith was working with works (2:22).

You can carry that argument concerning faith forward to the realization that faith is so important that you can't please God without it. Hebrews 11 is the great faith chapter that lists those people and acts that rested on faith. It culminates in chapter 12:2 which talks about Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who endured for our faith.

Faith

Faith is a word like love, we all have our own definition of the word but typically without ever really thinking about the definition. However, it really is incredibly important for us to know our definition so we can recognize the behavior when we see it in ourselves or in others. And faith is not a throw away word, it is a concept that has far reaching implications.

Scripture has many discussions and examples about faith. The most obvious example is Abraham who was told that he would be the father of many nations yet was childless. It also shows us what happens when we take a promise of God into our own hands and try to make it come into existence. It's always disastrous. However, God, being faithful, still fulfilled His word to Abraham.

In trying to understand and appreciate what faith is and how it operates, it has been written about countless times. In this instance I just want to consider 3 descriptions of faith. Looking at only 3 scriptures we see that: 1- faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1), 2- without faith it is impossible to please Him (Hebrews 11:6), 3- the just shall live by faith (Habakkuk 2:2).

The first description talks about the unseen aspect of faith. If our faith is based in what we see then this is not faith. Faith takes us beyond the senses into a realm requiring us to stand on what we believe, what we know from what we have been promised. Always remember that God looks over His word to see that it is performed. (Isaiah 55:11) Faith is an action word. It is foundational to everything.

Sowing and Reaping

Most people familiar with this teaching automatically think in terms of finances. While this is true about money, this is a limiting approach. Sowing and Reaping is a law. And laws are far more pervasive than merely applying to just one subject. "Laws' are givens - they are in effect regardless of the circumstance, they are immutable.

One aspect that many people don't consider is that the personal component - 'attitude', the how of following the law. This is nearly as important as actually acting in accordance with the law. Scripture teaches us that God loves a cheerful giver (2Corinthians 9:7). Grudgingly, like the brother of the prodigal son, is not as favorably accepted as a wholehearted, joyful giving. We need to look at our hearts when we are sowing because this is important.

Expectation is also an issue. If we give and expect a quid pro quo return then we limit both the giving and receiving. However, to expect nothing is not scriptural either (2 Corinthians 9:8). We should be actively looking for what the Lord will provide or we could miss our blessing. You cannot out give God, His word tells us He does repay. My point is that we need to look beyond mere financial return.

Throughout scripture we are given 'agricultural' parables because these are so visible and easy to understand. Sowing and reaping is another teaching that uses this approach. We can see the results when we put the seed into the ground and tend the seed. We don't plant without expecting it to produce. This shows us that we need to view our seeds, not as a one off throw away but as a seed that will need tending - by prayer. (Galatians 6:9) We know we will receive a crop, we just don't know the extent of the reaping (Matthew 13:23).

How you sow, what you expect all effect your reaping. But you will reap.

Finding yourself, part 2

Because of the nature of who we become when we accept Jesus as Lord, I would argue that finding yourself is even more important. When we are born again then we discover we are no longer our own, we were purchased with a great price. We are a new creation. We are ambassadors. But... who are we?

Who we are, who we are becoming is not hidden from us. We have been left a 'user's manual' - the Bible. And... we have a shortcut. Obviously the shortcut only begins our understanding of who we are becoming and does not take the place of our responsibility to read the entire Bible..... many times.

The 'shortcut' is the book of Ephesians. For me, it jump started my understanding and appreciation of who I am. I really can't take the credit for this approach and I don't recall who made the suggestion. However, it does inform us of who we are becoming. Every time you read the words: in Him, in whom, in Christ put in your own name because it IS who you are becoming.

While it may sound arrogant to read your name in, this is no time for false humility. We read in John, chapter 15 that we are to abide in Him and as we abide in Him we are fruitful. And if we abide in Him then we are in Him/in whom/in Christ. But what does Ephesians tell us? When we look at the first chapter we are told we are/have: blessed with every spiritual blessing (v. 3), chosen (v. 4), holy and without blame (v. 4), predestined (v. 5), accepted (v. 6), redeemed and forgiven (v. 7), inheritance (v. 11), sealed (v. 13), the spirit of wisdom and revelation (v. 17), eyes of our understanding enlightened (v. 18), know the hope of His calling (v. 18). And this is only the first chapter!

Those 14 aspects define who we are. And if we were to spend the entirety of our lives understanding what this is, what this means, and how we are to walk in/be this then we will only scratch the surface. Regardless... in finding ourselves this is who we discover.

Finding yourself

I believe we all are in a life long quest to discover, to find ourselves. It's nearly like the reverse of pealing layers off an onion. As we go through life we add layers to who we are. It's almost like we complicate ourselves... even to ourselves. That was not a critical comment... merely a comment. Simple, we aren't.

Regardless of how old you are, are you who you thought you'd be at this point? Are you pleased? Surprised? Disappointed? Somewhere along your life's journey, did you misplace yourself? Or are you on your own goal timeline? Then again, it may be a mixture of all of those.

I remember when I was in college the two questions we dissected, described, tried to define were: who am I? and what am I here for? This was not a one time discussion, we analyzed the two questions from every side imaginable. It wasn't a silly or merely sophomoric approach, we were passionately and intensely involved because we felt it determined the critical answers and directed our lives. And I don't believe this is merely the purview of my generation.

Why this quest? Because it provides the standard against how we live our lives. It tells us whether or not we are accomplishing the responsibilities our generation was handed, and more specifically, how we achieved or fell short of the goals. We were very serious but never humorless.

I would argue that there are those in every generation that are on this quest of finding yourself. The question that should spring to mine is: once found, then what?

Meaning

It's difficult, but I can exist without hope... for a short while. And I can exist without promise. But it is completely impossible to live without meaning. How could I go on if there was no purpose to life, if I had no reason for living? Probably I could exist.... for a while but there would be no life. I couldn't handle that for long.

And... not just any old purpose will do. My purpose has to have meaning... has to have purpose. I would suspect this is true for everyone. The issue is that 'meaning' is individually defined. What may be meaningful to me may be a yawn for someone else. And vice versa. However - that isn't the issue. The important consideration is that each person knows what provides meaning for them.

'Meaning' is the motivation, the purpose, the reason, the excitement, the challenge, the goal for each person. Without meaning why would you do what you do? Where's the pleasure? So... how do you determine meaning for yourself? What comprises your definition?

Let me give you a partial answer by sharing what provides meaning for me. I always like to hope that my actions, behavior, activities have a spiritual implication. If there are no spiritual impacts then I'm not as engaged. I may still be involved with the activity but there is a secondary reason for my participation. It is when this particular aspect of 'meaning' for me is included that I am totally involved. Therefore, when there is a spiritual aspect I find I have meaning.

Meaning is the foundation for what we do and it is part of the definition of who we are.

Living ... not in vain

I suspect all of us, Christian and non, do not want our living to have been in vain. We all want to 'make our mark' and, I would argue, all want that mark to be an important one, a positive one. And I would suggest that while there is a part in us that wants the glory from this, that the motivating factor really isn't that simple. But even if you refute my last statement, my thesis remains - no one wants to live a vain life.

I would also contend that for the Christian it is even more important. There is an old gospel song that states, "... if I can help somebody as I pass along, ... then my living will not be in vain." Much of what not living in vain means for the Christian involves others. How we interact, treat, react with, etc. other people, especially other Christians, significantly impacts in the determination of our lives.

Why? Because Jesus' words tell us that the world will know His disciples by their love. There's an old saying, unfortunately too true, that states the only people that kill their wounded are Christians. The one group of people we need to be assisting is typically the last ones we do. We can sometimes be fantastic in our love for 'others' but not for our own.

The important consideration in all this is that we all want to contribute, to know that we have made a difference. And, the definition has to be in terms of other people. It is impossible to 'make a contribution' without the impact affecting others. You, however, defines for yourself what this means. My point is - no one sets out to have a meaningless life.

Asking the right question...

I would strongly suggest that the problem many of us face is asking the right question. 'Why me?' is not the right question. I'm not saying that it isn't a question that shouldn't be asked, but it isn't the first question. Actually the first question needs to be, 'Now what?'

If (when) you find yourself in an uncomfortable, unexpected, and/or unwanted situation then you need to decide/know what you want to do about it first. May I suggest that your first action to determine what you want to do is to seek the Lord and His answer for you. Unfortunately we too often forget our first line of defense. Prayer is not likely to be at the top of our list of what we need to do.

However, extrication can't be our only intention. It's important to know where we're heading and simply 'out' is not sufficient. Many times we exacerbate the situation by rushing out with no thought of our 'now what'. I can't, no one can, provide you with your answer to 'now what' because of all the variables involved. But I can provide you with a process.

The process is not all that complicated. What you need to do is to stop, and that's the most difficult first step. We typically rush around trying to either 'fix it' or get away from 'it'. We need to stop. Then you need to pray about what's happening and analyze. Prayer is a steadying activity and provides us with a context. As an aside: simply praying and asking the Lord to get you out of where you are smacks of praying amiss. Praying for wisdom and the Lord's protection in the situation are two avenues of emphasis.

Perhaps not an in depth analyzing at this stage of why you are in your predicament is apropos but you will need to at some point to mitigate against repetition. Now is the time to look at your options and a major piece will be to acknowledge your responsibility and not shift blame. What will resolve your situation with the least amount of damage should be the focus. Next is to act on it.

Accomplish... ment

When you hear the word, accomplish/accomplishment what springs into your mind? I always think of 'victory' - gaining victory over something, not someone. For me, accomplishment is typically defined in terms of self success. Webster says that accomplish means, "to succeed in doing" and then stops at defining 'doing'. I like that because I can determine/define the focus of the doing.

A sense of accomplishment is really critical to our mental health because otherwise we feel like we are banging our head against a brick wall with no penetration. Our strength gets sapped, our energy becomes nonexistent and basically we feel like giving up. Let's face it - we've all felt that way one time or another. So what did you do? Pull yourself up by your bootstrap?

I find that every, and I do mean every, time I try for victory over some very important 'thing' that if I rely totally on my own powers that I inevitably get tired. Oh, I may eventually succeed and that is a good feeling, but when I look back I see all the pot holes I fell into that I didn't need to or the missteps that might have been avoided. It is true that hindsight is 100%.

So what could I have done. Actually I could have stopped striving and found the Lord's answer. It's always there in scripture, when I take the time to look for it. Remember the V-8 ad when the character slaps his head and says... I could have had a V-8? Well, that's typically the feeling I get, after the fact, when I begin to analyze what happened.

We really are a creation that feels that we need to do 'it' on our own. Yes, but there's no law against seeking assistance. What we can do is stop, go in prayer about the situation, find the scripture to stand on, and proceed. Now if I can only remember this, AT the time......