Expect GREAT things!

Do you? For you, for your life? Or do you expect that the absolute worst will happen for you? That the 'great things' happen to others, not you? I'm not talking about 'pie in the sky' or looking at life through rose colored glasses, but what is your expectation? As I've said before, I'm a silver lining type. I expect that great things will happen. And you know... sometimes it's only a matter of perspective.

Your perspective and your attitude really do determine your view of what's happening in your life. Sometimes great things pass by because we don't see them or don't accept them. If you have missed the first opportunity, a second typically comes our way. Partly this is based in my non baseball view - it's not always three strikes and you're out. We do have second chances. But if you have missed the first, be alert for the next.

The first word in this phrase is expect. Do you expect and I don't mean a drop into lap approach, but do you see the potential, the possible? Do you run to life, or from it? Each day really provides these opportunities because the implied word in this phrase is - now. 'Eventually' certainly isn't a word that anyone would want to hear. Eventually is an undefined time and  now is... now! Now, read the number of times the word is used in scripture. 'Now' is an order, a directive. But it is for now - not, eventually.

I believe that tomorrow may beacon but now is where you are. You have to plan for the future but you live in the now. Why would anyone expect only for tomorrow? When you expect you are involved in your now, you are prepared to see. Perhaps the key question to the phrase is - what. What are you expecting? Is it a 'possible'? Will you recognize 'it'? Know what you expect and you will see the fruit.

Scripture

You have 2 choices: you believe it or you don't believe it. Either it is authority... or it isn't. It doesn't depend on you understanding every thing, it depends on whether you accept it as infallible. Very simple and yet life hangs in the balance - your life. Sometimes it's only an issue of pride - you accepting that the Bible is the living word of God. That it is the Father's love letter to man, showing man all that God promises He will do.

You can't choose which parts of scripture to accept and which to discard. "All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness." (2Timothy 3:16) From that statement you can deduce that scripture is our guide, our manual for living. And yes, there are parts that are hard to understand which requires us to accept that: "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord. ... My ways (are) higher than your ways..." (Isaiah 55:8-9)

Also, scripture is not contradictory plus we see that Scripture cannot be broken (John 10:35) Thus, it is trustworthy because it doesn't change with the winds - it is. Granted, we don't always see the how and where of connections and we may think that what is said in one place is contradicted in another, but as we study the apparent contradictions we will find that it doesn't invalidate itself. It is our responsibility to seek understanding so that we don't stand on shifting sands.

As we grow and mature as Christians we discover new things we hadn't seen or understood before. This is one of the reasons that you never outgrow scripture and with each reading you understand more. You read one verse and see how it ties back and confirms a previous prophecy. You begin to understand and appreciate how scripture confirms itself, how prophecies spoken hundreds of years earlier are performed, how God's might and power have always been. And that only scratches the surface.

A Soldier

You do realize that the moment you accept Jesus as Lord you enlist as a soldier in the army of the Lord? You do. Like it or not, in this life you have an enemy that will try to defeat you and defeat all those around you. And... he doesn't play fair. He will use every trick and lie in his arsenal to get you off track and to separate you from other believers. The only good thing is that he is totally uncreative and will use the same old weapons each time. When you learn to see them then you can quickly defeat them. The good news is that 'we win'.

However, we all don't hold the same rank or job in this army. Just like a body wouldn't function very well if it only had noses and mouths and not eyes and ears too, we each have our place, we each have our specialized jobs to do and we're each equipped according to what we need to be effective. Granted we all have some of the same equipment, for example: scripture tells us that we all have a measure of faith. And we all need faith to do our particular job. But I would suggest that the first job we, individually, have is to make certain we
understand our role.

In the secular world a person who joins the military initially goes through 'basic training'. We do the same thing as Christians. And part of the training is to discover and understand our primary equipment. As Christians we discover the equipment in Ephesians 6. One of the more interesting aspects about our equipment is that, except for one piece, it is all designed as defensive in order to protect us. Just as the military won't place a soldier into the battle without intensive training, we shouldn't expect to become involved with the more arduous aspects of our warfare until we are trained.

Simultaneously, we should never expect that we will always sit on the sidelines or be invisible to the enemy. That's why we have our one offensive weapon - the sword, which is the word of God. And that's also why we need to spend time in the word in order to be prepared. The word was what Jesus used to fight satan, and it is our weapon as well. As we train and prepare we will become a 'fit' soldier, able to withstand all the attempts to destroy us. Actually the more I think about this the more I realize that some soldiers are more proficient than others because they chose to prepare.

The hole within

Each one of us is on a quest - at some level of intensity, whether or not we consciously realize it. I would submit that the reason is because there's a hole in all of us - right smack dab in the middle of us. And, that hole can only be filled with something greater than us. The 'lucky' ones are those who have discovered their hole and have searched to find what will fill it. If it isn't filled then there's a kind of emptiness and this sense permeates everything you touch.

In our quest we discover that fame, fortune, prestige will not fill this hole. It may abate the empty feeling for a while but then the emptiness returns. For some, this quest leads them and for some, they simply throw up their hands in frustration and try to escape. Those who engage in the discovery find themselves on a fascinating journey that doesn't end with the discovery... actually, discovery begins it.

Many people try to use philosophy to attempt to fill the hole. Some try to fill it with work, or friends, or family and all of that does help but he hole isn't filled. We may try many different 'things' to fill our hole and while the hole may get smaller... there's still something missing. What's missing, is a personal relationship with the Lord. Without this, you just keep throwing 'things' at your hole to hopefully fill it. But the moment you make Jesus your Lord; you know, you feel the hole filled up.

And yes, it is as simple as that, and as profound. The fun, the exciting, the challenging part is that you've only begun your discovery. Who is this Jesus? What does He want from you? How does this impact on all the other parts of your life? These are just a few of the questions you will be answering in your journey. In a sense the hole still leads you but this time the leading is to understand and appreciate what (the Lord) fills the hole.

Your... you: Part 2

I realize that the phrase sounds strange, but it really isn't. My advice is: 1- never, as in ever, allow someone else to make the decision about who you are, what you do, how you go about doing it! Certainly seek advice or allow those you trust to speak into your life - but the final decision should remain with you. Your you. It really doesn't have to 'make sense'... to anyone but you. And do not apologize for you (unless you are apologizing for what you said/did that hurt someone else and you really do feel sorry).

2- Act your age! Have you ever been told that? What actually does 'act your age' mean? Abiding by an arbitrary standard of age correct behavior? Who sez? I suspect that you have to start with why the phrase is being uttered. Is there something you are saying... or doing... or not saying or doing? Often the phrase is only stated because of the underlying attempt to control and this has absolutely nothing to do with acting your age. But it can interfere with your expression of you.

Number 3 in 'your you' is to appreciate, value, and celebrate you. No, you're not perfect; yes, you make mistakes but each step you take to become who you are gives you more understanding and the journey you are making. Growing may not be easy but it is the only journey of value. I know it may sound counter intuitive but valuing and discovering you frees you to value and discover others. You really can't appreciate someone else until you first start with yourself.

You have a special, unique gift to give the world - something no one else can give/do. That gift is you. Not an attempted mirror of someone else, you! Only you have walked in your shoes which makes you who you are - the good and the bad. On the day you were born the world received a very special, one of a kind gift - you. And you also received a gift - life. What you do with your life determines your gift back. In many respects you are born with a debt - the responsibility to be a positive influence in your world.

Manners

Whatever happened to manners???? Where did please and thank you and you're welcome go? And what happened to a simple acknowledgement of  something received? Why is it so not necessary to sincerely express them? I know I'm giving away my age with these questions but... whatever happened to these 
simple kindnesses? While my questions may sound like sour grapes and while 'yesteryear' may become idealized in one's mind... still, it was a bit more gracious, slightly more gentle and definitely more mannerly.

I remember when I was a child, being corrected when I was impolite or didn't show the proper respect for others. And perhaps that's the underscoring value - respect. No one seems to respect things like... other people's property, others' rights, etc. It's not that you always had to agree with others but how you showed your disagreement was equally important. Respect has to be earned, granted, but it is not acceptable to show disrespect. And 'gentle' and 'kind' were not behaviors to be ignored.

Manners is as much a statement of how you expect to be treated as well as it is a statement of how you believe others should be treated. If you are rude, interrupting, dismissing, etc. then you invite others to treat you in the same fashion. Manners really is a quid pro quo. Manners are also a matter of what you're taught as a child and what you observe in others' behavior. Both play a significant role as to whether or not you also become a mannerly person. It really is the simple things of saying please and thank you, of not interrupting someone who is speaking, and of equally kind, 'respectful' acts.

I'm not certain why we've lost some of the touch of kindness that seemed to no longer to be visible. And while it is important to know these reasons so we can begin to counteract their influence, it really is more personal - what about you? Are you polite? Do you use those words and actions? Are you mannerly? And I'm not talking about the 'random acts of kindness'. Random does not translate into lifestyle.

Works

Do you get caught in 'proving'? Proving defined as a visible demonstration of ... whatever you are wanting (needing) to prove. Reality says that the proving is primarily for yourself - not for others. This can become a block or stumbling stone if you feel that it is mandatory to be able to demonstrate. This also is true for new Christians. When someone gets saved, they can get caught up in wanting others to see their new status. And what's the best proof? Tangible, visible works!

Problem... since we aren't saved by works... what and how do works operate? What is their role? Yes, they are important but they emanate from the internal change. Works are a manifestation, the proof of who you are. James talks about the quality of 'works'. He equates works with faith when he says (2:20), "...faith without works is dead..." Actually chapter 2, versus 14-26 indicates the depth of James thinking about works. 3 different times he says that faith without works is dead. At one point (2:18) he says...I will show you my faith by my works. There is no doubt that works are important... and expected.

Some people will use the words in Ephesians that we are saved by faith (2:8) as a basis for dismissing works. But that wasn't the intent of Paul's comments. He was focusing on the reality that faith is a gift God gives to us. He goes on to say 2:10 - "For we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."

 There is no question that James emphasizes the importance of faith but he also is pointing out with examples from people's lives that faith 'works' together with works (2:22). Works are meant to demonstrate. Faith is a gift... works are our response. It's as simple as that and as profound. If you are a person of faith then you will be a person of works.

Charity...

some would say, starts at home. But that's only one of the end results of charity - it really begins in the heart and expands outward. Charity has to be expressed. Spiritually, most definitions use love and charity interchangeably. For some reason the secular definition of the two words are related but separated - I will follow the spiritual basis. Charity is defined in scripture in 1 Corinthians 13, which is summed up in verse 13: "And now abide faith, hope, love, these three, but the greatest of these is love." The point being that generosity or altruism can emanate from a variety of  places but it is the heart that is the seat of true charity.

I believe that charity is the visible, tangible manifestation of love - it is love in action. And, it is strong, not weak. 1 Corinthians 13 defines the attributes of love: suffers long, kind, not envious, not parade itself, not puffed up, not behave rudely, not seek its own, not provoked, think no evil, not rejoice in iniquity, rejoices in truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, never fails.... In that listings there are 8 things it does not do and 8 things it does do. So charity is a guide for us in both doing and not doing. Interesting...

It is important to know what charity doesn't do as it is to know what it does do. The two aspects that I've always appreciated is that without love, I am nothing (vs 2) and it never fails (vs 8). But it is also my decision, my choice to act toward others with love. And yes, this isn't always easy especially when we are defending ourselves. 1 Corinthians 14:1 tells us to pursue love. It isn't that love doesn't come 'naturally' to us, but it is a selfless, unconditional basis that we need to pursue.

Charity is far more than merely sending money to a needy 'cause' (fill in the blank). It's when charity becomes personal that you can see love in action. It means something at this point - it no longer is an 'out there' action. And the fascinating point is that the act brings so much to the actor - more than expected. Charity begins.... and ends in the heart.

Covenant

One of the more difficult concepts to try and understand is 'covenant'. What the western world doesn't fully appreciate is the far reaching implications that a covenant covers. A covenant is not like a contract - it's meant to be kept. In contrast, most contracts include an escape clause and death typically ends the contractual relationship. Not so with a covenant - it is not easily discharged but remains in effect from generation to generation - it is inclusive not exclusive. This is why it isn't often entered into - because of the seriousness and the binding power.

Covenants were often entered into for protection and for unification. Covenants weren't always between equally standing parties, and were often initiated by the stronger rather than weaker of the two. Examples: God's covenants with man. He was the one that typically initiated them and always to the preservation, protection, and profit of man. And when God made a covenant - He kept it, which wasn't typically the case with man.

When you seek a definition of 'covenant' you'll discover that Webster has difficulties explaining the word. Webster does use some synonyms to try and explain such as: accord, alliance, compact, treaty, pact - but that only scratches the surface.  You have to turn to scripture to understand the full scope of the word. And it is the covenants that God made with man that are the most crucial. Isaiah (45:23, 55:11) gives us the strongest declaration about God and His word, which applies to His approach about covenants.

If you apply the thinking that is stated in those two versus, you begin to understand the seriousness God has toward covenants but you can also begin to see what He has done for man by covenanting Himself to man. History shows that man breaks covenants with God. Man also breaks contracts with man. Fortunately God never breaks covenants and seeks to restore them when man does. The first covenant God entered into was when Adam and Eve broke His word in Genesis. God is still fulfilling His last covenant created in Jesus - it's there for all to enter into.

Loose ends?

Life is a series of loose ends... was a comment I read. I'm not too certain what the author meant since it must have been a throw away line but I was intrigued. If we accept the comment as accurate then how we live with our loose ends says a great deal about who we are. Do 'loose ends' need tying up or are they suppose to stay... loose? And how do you determine if and which ends need tying? It could end up destroying whatever you are doing if you tie the wrong ends together.?

There are a variety of reasons why you may be facing a loose end: loss of funding or other resources, new information changes what you are doing, etc. But what do you do? Some people would push on regardless, some will be able to quickly adjust and leave the loose end, some like closure and will attempt to find a way to facilitate this. Just as there are a variety of reasons causing loose ends, there are a variety of approaches to deal with it. The least effective tends to be to continue doing what you currently are... regardless.

Again I think it's the how you react to loose ends - but what if you have absolutely no decision-making input, when you aren't 'leader'? How you respond to the person-in-charge again says a great deal about who you are. Your level of personal investment in what you're doing impacts on your reactions. Whatever decision the leader makes, can you offer your suggestions... will you? Equally important is when you are the leader - do you help the rest of the team resolve the pre-mature end?

Loose ends can be very frustrating... especially when you are a 'closure' type. For those who need closure, you may have to develop other coping skills when no closure appears to be forthcoming. The issue really is to know what you can do when there is an abrupt stop in what you are doing. Are you prepared to 'let go' of the work you have already done and switch gears? Loose ends really are a fact of life - you determine how you resolve them.

Tediousness of spirit

was a phrase that caught my eye. It's used in one of Anne Perry's books, but what a phase! I conjures up all sorts of images in one's mind. Without really knowing the author's definition one can speculate as to what this looks like. Somehow I think a tediousness of spirit can be seen, even if the person who is living with it isn't aware that it is.

To me, the phrase implies a neither hot nor cold existence. It's a depth of spirit that focuses on the small, the insignificant rather than the important issues of life. Webster defines 'tedious' as: tiresome because of length or dullness; boring. Some of the synonyms are: drab, dreary, dull, stale, wearying - a perfectly terrible state to be in! The main reason for this is the lifelessness. I can think of nothing worse. Is this how you would describe your situation? If so, there is a remedy.

The relief in all this is that you can change your 'condition', you don't have to stay tedious. It will take courage however, and risk will play a role but it has to be an improvement from lifeless. The grayness of life doesn't have to be yours. So... how do you change? Again it's one of those 'each person has their own way out' but I don't think escape is the basis. The reason is that escape implies that you can get 'caught' again. And escape may or may not deal with the underlying reasons.

Moving from tedious to alive involves a willingness to not necessarily always be 'safe'. Not that you look for danger but you also don't hide in self protection. To be fully alive you need to be fully alert, fully involved in your life. Too often we hide because it's easier than learning something new, meeting someone new. But a life without scraped knees is a life that doesn't risk discovering all that life holds. Bottom line is that both tedious and alive are choices... yours?

It's about sharing...

Alone is a difficult state to be in but being lonely is even worse. Both alone and lonely can occur whether in a crowd or simply by yourself. But I think it's the depth of lonely that is the worse of the 2 states. Lonely is such an isolated place. I'm not sure you find it or it finds you. Regardless, you find yourself cut off from any intimacy, any meaningful relationship. And, the awareness of this can lead you into a sadness that is so deep that it is difficult to breach.

The way out of the isolation of lonely differs with each person. However, I would suggest that the basic problem in any case is the issue of sharing. It is my belief that we all want to share ourselves with significant others - it's just that we want to determine what and how much we share. It's difficult to be in a situation in which you see sharing occurring between others and realize that you don't have that kind of relationship with anyone.

Sharing is risky. Sharing can make you feel extremely vulnerable. And, if your trust in the past has been betrayed then the fear factor increases astronomically. The problem is that there is no other way out of lonely - at some point, with someone, you have to reach out and share again... otherwise you consign yourself to the state you are in. The 'good news' is that you can start small in the sharing dynamic and progress as your confidence grows.

Sharing is really wonderful and comes with a number of other positive 'features'. When you share with someone else, they can be your sounding board and you can work out any problems in your thinking/planning in advance. When you give the other person permission to speak into your life you can discover a great deal about yourself - who and how you present yourself to others. These are only two of the more obvious benefits to sharing. Sharing is an act that you determine when and how you proceed. But is really does make a difference.

In between time...

I've never been particularly fond of 'down' time or the 'in between' time. In between time is defined as that time between 'projects' or the 'down' time. In order to avoid this I have found myself beginning the next project as the last one is winding down... but not always. I suspect I should look at the potential in these times. Perhaps in between times can offer something no other time has.?

Are you, like me, prone to commence on the next (fill in the blank) as the one you are involved with begins to end? Or, do you stand around waiting for the next to drop into your lap? Or do you seek out the next? How do you handle your in between time? For me it's not so much a need to fill my time as it is I am highly goal oriented. And, I must admit, I do love challenges and starting something new always involves challenges at some level. Plus I love the energy that occurs at the start of next - I'm more the developer type than the implementer type. But to repeat, what would down/in between times provide?

As I look at it, these periods of times are times of refreshing, of taking stock, of contemplation. In and of itself - each are important and are needed. My typical MO is to do this during a project time, but this isn't always satisfactory since one's attention is divided. I'm beginning to understand that it's how we utilize these times that's at issue. In between times are important precisely because they have no other focus.

In a very real way, in between time is a gift. The gift is to allow us to step back from our targeted focus so we can look at a larger picture. It's the perspective that we discover during these times that can structure and add meaning to what we do. I've never appreciated 'make do' work and always hoped that what I did has some lasting meaning. During these in between times we can engage in the luxury of this assessment and make whatever adjustments are necessary.

Killers

There are killers that will attempt to take your life. Actually they aren't subtle at all, they blatantly attempt to direct how you look at life. They go under the names of: bitterness, blame, self hatred and a few others. Each are like a slow growing disease taking the joy and peace from your life... if you let them, they control your life. Simply - they are killers. And...if you don't deal with them they become strongholds in your life.

Disappointment seems to be one of the avenues taken to reach one or more of the killers. Seemingly such a 'small' emotion but it's one that packs a huge impact because there are others that it also brings, such as dissatisfaction and frustration. Disappointment is one of those facts of life that if we don't face daily we certainly do face often. As a result it shouldn't have that much power - but it does. How you react to disappointment will affect so many other aspects of life. If it makes you doubtful or hesitant then its first inroad is made. One rarely makes it to bitterness in one leap.

Obstacles - real and imaginary is another avenue. We sometimes see an obstacle as preventing us from doing whatever it is we are planning to do. It may. But it also may be a checkpoint to help us accomplish your goal. But it is those imaginary obstacles that are difficult to combat because they never bring logic to the situation - only a roadblock. Sometimes it is only someone outside the situation that can help you determine whether or not you are facing an obstacle. And, if so, then offer a non-vested interest suggestion.

These are only 2 examples of the avenues to killers.  How we respond to the causes which allows the killers to prevail in our lives is another aspect of character. When we submit to them we allow them control over how we look at the world. And their cancer only grows and is rarely dormant. To become free of the killers and on the road to health will require courage and honesty - but remember that the killers are really cowards and you do have the power to overcome them.

Superlatives...

So do you live a spectacular life or an ordinary one? Perhaps the question is - what are your definitions of those 2 words - spectacular and ordinary? And which are you seeking to experience? What are you willing to pay to attain whichever you want? These are not idle questions, they go to the heart of the life you are leading and the life you want to lead, and what discrepancies there are between them. 


First: is there anything 'wrong' with ordinary? And you should realize that what might seem ordinary to you might seem extraordinary to someone else. Superlatives are really only the frosting on the word but what do they add? What makes them more appealing? Is it the freedom that they seem to imply? Or is it the aura of excitement and 'more'? Why all the questions? Because if you don't know why you want something then your level of commitment to attain it is questionable.

Do you realize that you can lead a relatively ordinary life, extraordinarily? It depends first on your definitions and then on your behavior. What fills your days and how you react to them will help define what your life is. But even the most ordinary of lives can be lived fully and completely but it depends on your attitude. In a very real way it is completely related to what makes you happy, what fills you.

Then again, maybe what is needed is to see and understand the superlatives that already exist in our lives.?. There's an old song that talks about counting your blessings - maybe what we all need to do is to stop long enough to do this. Perhaps in the recitation of our blessings we'll discover our superlatives. Or maybe we'll see that they aren't as important as we initially thought. Superlatives have their place... primarily as frosting.

Bold?

To paraphrase an old saying... "do you boldly go where no one ..."? Does 'bold' describe you...as a Christian? Or do you hide in your closet of political correctness (whatever those words mean)? Do you proudly proclaim? No, I'm not talking about a 'being in your face' approach though it certain doesn't seem to affect non-Christians' behavior. If you know, if you are and believe as a Christian... do you profess it? Or.. only when it's convenient and only to fellow Christians.

My problem is that I don't believe in the smaller case 'c'. I don't believe you can believe in Jesus, calling Him Lord, and be a christian... I think you have no choice but to be a Christian. And yet... I believe there are countless numbers of closet christians. My definition of a closet christian is a person who has had the life changing experience of accepting Jesus as Lord. They've done this publicly and then... they've gone into hiding. Overly critical?

Let me use a quick comparison... do you like/follow professional sports? Do you have a team that you 'support' regardless of their record? Is this something that though you may not paint your body the colors of the team, everyone knows you are a follower? Or maybe there is a form of music or musicians that you really enjoy and let others know? These are types of 'public' professions of what you believe. But... are you less exuberant, less bold about the person of Jesus and who He is for you?

If you are bold, then you are just as excited about sharing who Jesus is and how He participates in your daily life as any fan could be about stating the stats on their favorite team. Boldness, witnessing is simply sharing your experience and what has happened in your life. And this should excite you as much as any sport, any musical group, or any other passion that lights up your life. Jesus didn't do all that He has so you could hide in your closet. He did it so you would share Him with others and become a Christian.

Crisis!

What do you do when a crisis breaks or is about to break - at least from your perspective? Go into panic mode? Many people do head, sometimes prematurely, into panic when they think a crisis is imminent. Panic rarely provides answers though, at best panic gives you a momentary band aid, but only for your own emotions. Do you handle all crisis situations in the same way?

Your crisis MO is important because it's the way you resolve crises that helps give you understanding. Do you begin to take action to counteract the impending crisis before it happens? Or, do you wait till it actually is a crisis and then scramble? Or maybe you are an options/alternative planner an 'if-then' scenario approach? I would suggest that this is the best strategy to crisis resolution. This is a monitoring approach to what is happening in order to make quick and decisive changes when needed. Simply, it's part of the overall plan.

Not all impending, apparent crisis explode into a full blown disaster. Sometimes all you need do is to tweak what is happening, but sometimes it's far more serious and you'll need to 'cut your losses'. However, it is your 'situation assessment' behavior that is most important. Before you throw in the towel or tweak, you need to look at your beginning, your objectives, your methodology, your goal and where you are on the continuum to the goal. All these analyses will lead you in what you need to do, when, and how. Granted, in some cases the analysis has to be very fast but it should never be abandoned because of time. The point here is - did you place monitoring/check points along the path?

Crises do not necessarily need to be reacted to by panic behavior. But if this is your initial reaction then... get the emotion out and then determine what you should do. A crisis may become a way to 'think outside the box', to come to a new and exciting way to goal accomplishment. It also may close the door, at least at this point, to your goal which now opens up your 'schedule' for a different goal.

Starvation

You feed your natural person 2-3 times a day unless you are a 'grazer', in which case you may mini-feed  throughout the day. But what about your spirit man (woman)? Does your spirit need less 'food'? How often, and with what are you feeding your spirit? Specifically, are you feeding your spirit only milk or is there meat?  A different question is: do you expect your spirit to exist on only one meal (probably church) a week? Maybe the question should be: when was the last time you fed your spirit?

Unbelievably, it seems that most people don't think about feeding their spirit or when they do, it is only a momentary passing thought. There are those who feel that going to church once a week fulfills the 'spiritual requirements'. While fellowshipping at church is important, it is not the only way or only time your spirit needs nourishment. Feeding your spirit is incredibly important.

Why? Because you need to grow. It isn't expected that you stay a baby forever. In Hebrews 5:13-14 we are told that we should not still need milk. We are to be skilled in the word of righteousness and this can't happen unless we feed our spirit, so that we: "...have our senses exercised to discern both good and evil." (verse 14). We are suppose to be aiding those who are new Christians to grow and we can't if we haven't grown.

In 2 Timothy (2:15) we are to study to show ourselves approved to God. Study is part of how we feed our spirit. Through study of the word (2 Timothy 3:16), prayer, fellowshipping with other believers - these are some of the ways we feed our spirit. How often? Daily. When you accepted Jesus as your Lord you didn't instantaneously become a mature Christian. It takes time. It takes diligence. You start as a babe in the Lord and as you commit yourself to Him you begin to learn more of Him and more of who you are because of Him. It's a lifelong journey...

Certain? Doubt?

On the supremely confidently certain to the major doubting continuum where are you?  Are you certain? What are you certain about? No doubts? No fears? Totally confident? Yes I realize it depends on the subject but is one or the other the major condition you find yourself occupying? Do/are you doing anything to 'move' yourself off of doubting to more certain? And are you open to questions about those things you are certain about?

Doubts are not necessarily 'bad' you know. Doubts can be steps toward certainty. The only time doubt is bad is if it is in cement and you've turned doubt into rejection. How do you handle your doubts? Are you 'comfortable' with doubt? You really can moved into greater understanding when you attempt to resolve your doubts. The 'truth' should be what you pursue because then you can accept doubts as a method to discover truth.

Certainty can become a prison too. Remember, it is not the final destination. When you are unwilling to listen to another person's questions, their doubts then you've become a closed person. Faith can always stand up to any challenge without being threatened. I would suggest that threat is the cause for people to hold up certainty as a shield against a different point of view. Actually it should be the basis for iron sharpening iron. Just as doubt can hold you in cement, certainty can too. If certain stays and doesn't 'grow' then you will never expand your understanding.

Contrary to what you may think, certainty is not the end of the journey, it's a path to faith. Many times anger, frustration is the path to doubt. Spiritually - what do you do when you are mad at God? He can handle your doubts, but can you? Doubt is not blasphemy.... unless that's how it is expressed. Both doubt and certainty can be paths to faith. That's the journey's end.

Miracles!

You are aware, aren't you, that miracles happen every day?  Miracles are all around you... if you open the eyes of your heart to see them. What are miracles? There are a myriad of definitions of the word but the simpler the definition the easier to recognize them. Webster seems slightly conflicted about the definition: 1- an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment and/or 2- an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs. Unusual, or divine.? If divine then there is a great deal more to the definition.

There's a scripture that keeps repeating itself in my mind. It's used a number of times, so much so that it tends to make you stop and look at what's being said. The phrase, paraphrased, talks about eyes that see and ears that hear. It isn't an idle phrase and its use should cause us to pause and consider. It's a warning and it's a directive. We need to be able to see and to hear but many times this will mean using spiritual definitions - remember the scripture that talks about calling those things that aren't as if they were. That's the kind of definition I'm talking about. Miracles fall into the same category.

I should probably acknowledge that the following definition of the word is solely mine - Webster may or may not concur. First, a miracle is something that is unexpected. Sometimes it's a matter of seeing what you're looking at. Examples: the laughter of children, that 'special' look of a couple in love, the feeling you get when you see the expression of delight when someone opens a gift that you took pains to give - all of these 'ordinary' activities are a form of a miracle. We need to define the word that is more encompassing - it truly is more than simply the extraordinary or the superlative.

And second - to repeat me...miracles are all around you... if you open the eyes of your heart to see them. But they don't fall into the category that there's something you can do to bring them into existence. If we want to follow Webster then the second definition is closer to my belief about miracles. It's God entering into the situation and bring joy to those experiencing it. It's His gift to us.

Thankful...

What does 'thankful' mean for/to you? Is it a phrase you toss out, a kind of 'gee, thanks' comment? Or is it something you have thought about and have experienced the result that causes a thankful spirit? Unfortunately thanks, thanksgiving, thankful are words that everyone 'knows' - but do we? Do you know how to express your feelings of thanks? Do you take the time to acknowledge your thankfulness?

Webster defines thanksgiving as: the act of giving thanks, a prayer expressing gratitude. Duly note the word 'act' - it isn't something you think, you act on it. But the action is also defined: expressing gratitude. How do you express thanks? Is it a quid pro quo basis? If it is, then the word has lost its meaning. Thankfulness is an attitude - an attitude of gratitude. Perhaps it is favor when you least expected it, or the knowledge of unexpected positive results, or a thousand other reasons but whatever causes the feeling it is based on something you know.

Thankful is an adjective while thanks and thanksgiving are nouns and verbs. And yes it does make a difference. In my world of definitions thankful is the attitude and the other two words are the actions that identify the attitude. I tend to think that none of us do a very good job of expressing our thankfulness. It's far more than a simple phrase. Thankfulness is as much a lifestyle as it is a mindset. Some people know how to be grateful, some know that the expression of the mindset is based in their lifestyle.

Many times the feeling of thanks originates from an unexpected (positive) experience and you simply have to share your feeling - the awareness of what has occurred is occasion for expression. Whatever the situation the fact remains that thanks, thanksgiving, thankfulness has to be expressed. And often in the sharing, this becomes cause for others' rejoicing with and for you. It has a ripple affect on those around you.

Rewards

I can't speak for you, but personally I always loved rewards. They were a kind of period on what I was doing and that what I did ... excelled. But to be honest, I really don't think it was so much what the reward was as it was the anticipation of a reward. Receiving a 'star' for some academic prowess in grade school to 'earning' the reward at work... all were plus marks to me. But I have to ask myself - was the reward the thing or the acclamation I received when I got the reward? What happened when I didn't get a reward? I was the over achiever type so it simply meant I tried harder the next time.

Don't misunderstand - a pat on the back or a 'well done' by those who you want to think highly of you is not misplaced. What can be a problem though is when that's the sole reason for doing something. A corollary question is: should you be rewarded for doing what you are suppose to do? Reward seeking  people would probably say 'yes' and use the rationale that rewards are positive motivators. Perhaps. But the older I get the more I see the value of doing what one should as reward in and of itself. No, not altruistic - I've made a sort of peace with reward.

If we focus on the reward itself I would argue that we lessen why we are doing what we do. Actually we need to have a commitment to what we are about or why do we waste our time. In this case the reward is like frosting on a cake - excellent but not always necessary. The sense of accomplishment that accompanies goal attainment is as much a 'high' as receiving a reward for it. A sign of maturity? It's all about self knowledge and what 'works' for you.

My 'definitions' of reward is that the reward should be related in some fashion to the goal and not expected behavior. If all you receive is a plaque of some sort for work you were assigned then what's the purpose - it certainly wouldn't motivate me. However if the reward was related to greater autonomy, responsibility, and input into work, then this would be very satisfactory for me. You need to know what type of reward works for you. And you need to not expect rewards for those things that are part of your 'job description'.

Understanding... yourself

Understanding yourself really begins with being honest concerning your motivations to do and to not do (fill in the blank). However, do you find that sometimes you surprise even yourself? Do you find yourself doing and saying things you never would have thought you would? Are you a conundrum.... to yourself? It really isn't all that extraordinary or uncommon. Most of us end up surprising ourselves at times - sometimes good, sometimes not so much. But this is rarely atypical behavior/speaking.

In scripture, Paul makes a similar comment when he says he does the things he doesn't want to and doesn't do the things he does. So finding your foot in your mouth is not unusual. We do and say things that on hindsight, we wish we hadn't. Why? The reasons are legendary. Part of the problem is that there are two things that need to be done in tandem: resolving the situation and understanding why what happened... happened. If you only respond to resolution then your greater learning is missed.

You need to understand your 'why'. In all my writings, certain themes seem to present themselves in various guises and one is definitely self understanding. It is never a question of liking or disliking the understanding... it's about understanding. While there are many good aspects about ourselves we need to acknowledge there are also the parts we need to 'work on'. Why did you do/say? This is another component in self understanding - don't fear... you.

To be somewhat skeptical, I would suggest that some people use mis-speak as an excuse to say what they actually believe. If so, then it's a form of self delusion. We all need to be honest with ourselves and self delusion is its simplest form is lying to yourself. Besides, if it really is an 'innocent' mistake then how did you become aware of it so fast? It may not be 'comfortable' but the more you understand you, the more you allow yourself choices about what you do, when and why.

Missed???

If you were suddenly to disappear do you think you would be missed? Would anyone care that you were no longer around? Regardless of your answer to this question - how does it make you feel? Before I ask any more questions, the reply to the first question is - yes! Yes you would be missed! Who you are, what you do, what you say, how you do all this... yes, you would be missed. Contrary to what you may believe, you would be missed. How does that make you feel? Or do you not believe it?

If you have low self esteem it would be difficult to accept that you would be missed partially because it would force you to re-examine your perception of yourself. If you don't value you how could you accept the fact that others do? Low self-esteem is a thief of the most vicious kind. It takes you from who and what you are to a fading, misty image. It incapacitates people and robs them of the most precious thing they have - their true self. But how do people get to this point?

I would argue that there are two paths to low self esteem: one is that who you are is denied and subjugated to such an extent that you accept who you are 'proclaimed' by someone else to be, the other is even worse - you give the right to someone else to define you, you abet in your own robbery... of you! Whether that is your talents, your freedoms, your expressions - you help others rob you of who you are and what you are capable of accomplishing.

You have been fearfully and wonderfully made. You are unique, special. And God don't make junk! Yes, we make poor choices at times and then think that we are unredeemable... the great news is that we aren't. I read somewhere that the best gift you can offer the world is you. And that is so true. There's only one you and only you can do what you do - and yes it is needed... and wanted.

Control...

Where are you on the control continuum? Are you a total control freak or do you find yourself in the I-don't-seem-to-ever-be-in-control category? Be honest... we all like to have our way, so what kind of controller are you? The: 'it's my way or the highway' or maybe you're a 'come let us reason together' or 'I value your input but I don't want to hear it just now'? Perhaps you are the subtle controller or maybe you are an in your face type... or... do you manipulate the people and activity to get your way?

A different question is what do you do when you are not in control? Will/Do you follow... or do you attempt to exert your position? A sub question: is controlling and getting your way the same? Obviously we follow good and effective leaders easier, but this isn't always the case. Sometimes we are/have to follow people who have the position but not the skills. In these cases do we try to help the ineffective leader? Do as little as possible? or do we sabotage the leader and provide our leadership as an option?

For some people control is an 'in all cases'. They attempt to control everything and everyone regardless of whether or not they have the ability to lead. Some people attempt to control by being disruptive in some fashion. There are multiple styles of control sabotage. But, do you look at the 'why'? Do you truly believe you would do a better job of leading? And even if you would, can you take a supportive role instead and help the leader to success? Perhaps you are a selective controller - when it comes to areas that you have expertise you feel that this is where you (always) should be selected as leader.  

Regardless of the dynamics, you need to be able to be an effective follower. No, you don't let them go down the 'prism road' if you know disaster is lurking but if you don't have the decision making authority then after alerting of the impending danger, you have to step aside. And no, that doesn't mean you have to go into the disaster - you can excuse yourself without controlling their decision. Control is like power - it can be harnessed only by integrity and honor, not deceit or manipulation.

Focus Readjustment

Focus readjustment is in the same family as 'attitude adjustment' but they really are not the same. With focus readjustment we need to reconsider what we're looking at - now. Sometimes we are so focused on the prize, goal that the means to attain it takes on little to no importance. In reality how (means) we attain the prize is critically important. Our 'how' either strengthens the satisfaction of attainment or taints it. And the 'at any cost' mindset is very destructive.

Another determination is the intensity with which we focus our attention and actions. Are we so intent on the prize that we don't see who and what is around us? If we do then we veer into the 'things are more important than people' territory. Even worse, in my estimation, is that our principles can become compromised. Is the reason we entered this journey still relevant? Is the goal still worthy? This is another reason why benchmarks along the way from start to finish are important.

The journey from point A (focus determination) to point B (goal attainment) is rarely a straight line. That is why I try to remember to put in assessment times to make certain that the focus is still the same, the goal is the same and the plan hasn't change due to a host of unplanned for impacts. Life is so dynamic that if we use static methods of assessing we run the risk of missing important components. And... it is people that should be the top of our list - are they still involved? Do they feel they have ownership and not just doer ship? Are there sufficient opportunities for them to make suggestions?

Ownership is not dictatorship. Regardless of who began this process, if you are team leader or team member, everyone needs to feel that they and their thoughts are valued. If this is a solo journey then it becomes even more important that you have someone that you can discuss what's happening on your quest and you can trust their advice. Is the focus the same as when you began? Is the method of attainment still valid? or.... Do you need to readjust?

Brother.?!

Have you ever read something multiple times but somehow missed something very significant? I know I have which is why I never consider I've gleaned everything I can from reading the Bible only once - it is a continual discovery. Today it was the word 'brother' that captured my attention (do read 'sister' as well). In Matthew 18:21 Peter asks Jesus how many times should he forgive his brother who sinned against him - 7 times? I've read this passage multiple times. Most of the time the focus is on forgiving and the emphasis is on Jesus's answer of seventy times seven - implying an unlimited number of times.

However, in reading this passage this time I saw 'brother'. Not an unbeliever, not a stranger, not an accident (since Peter asks - up to 7 times - thus indicating this was not the first time this happened to him), but a brother. (Your definition of 'brother' has to include close personal friends as well as your biological brother/sister.) Nickel drop. It's one thing to be 'sinned on' by a stranger or even an acquaintance... but a brother?! And then to hear that you are to forgive them ... basically, always?! Totally different mindset. Your frame of reference has just suffered an incredible paradigm shift.

I would argue that it takes far more strength of character to forgive someone who is close to you than it ever would be for someone who is more removed. It is the brother who is aware of your warts and shortcomings and they know how to really hurt you. So whether or not what was done/said or not done/said by your brother was intentional or an accident - you must forgive. But is there also an implied addendum?

Whatever happened may be something you forgive but do you go the step further and trust them again? Do you try and never hold it over their head? Do you still love them? As a Christian we are commanded to love so again there really isn't any question - but the 'how' is in our hands. Unconditionally is how the Lord acts toward us when we do this to Him - He continues to trust us and He always loves us. This is how we are to respond. Never easy. But not a question.

NOT my fault

I'm not the problem! It's not my fault. I'm just reaping the results! 'Feel' familiar? I must admit I do hate being blamed for something that wasn't my fault. And, we've all experienced this. Unfortunately there are too many times when the person hurling the accusation, typically your supervisor, does not want to hear that they singled out the wrong person. Have you noticed that it is also at this precise moment that the person making the accusation is totally uninterested in whatever you might want to say? They simply are highly irritated and you happened to be the target. Being a target is extremely frustrating.

It's at this moment we typically start thinking about what am I going to do? How do I exonerate myself? Wrong emphasis! Worry about exonerating later, seeing what can be done to resolve the situation should be our focus. Once the 'crisis' is resolved you can determine if you can effectively correct the mis-perception. And accept the fact that maybe you won't be able to - sometimes you just don't find 'justice'. Sometimes it's a situation that someone has to be the scapegoat and you drew the short straw. And sometimes you have to recognize that no one is really to blame.

So now the 'issue' is resolved and you've discovered that there is no opportunity to receive vindication. What do you do now? It is always difficult to continue working with someone who won't accept that what happened was not of your making. Do you quit? If you continue - how do you continue? My suggestion is that you won't be able to continue on your own - you will need to discover what the Lord wants for you. As difficult as it may be you need to turn and see what God expects from you. Do we even see His hand? Do we look for it? We can't just believe God is in control, we need to act on this. There's no reason to doubt.

This type of situation, which everyone experiences you really aren't the only one, is a time of discovering what you're made of. Do you remember the story of Job? Everyone around him was telling him it was his fault for the state he found himself in. They were telling him to curse God and turn from Him. What did Job do? He didn't understand 'why' what happened, he obviously didn't like what was happening, but he also refused to lay the blame at God's feet. He did not seek to blame. It is a case of rising above the situation. Not easy... especially if it was not your fault.

Happily ever after...

Does that even exist? Do you believe in it... for you? Or is this only a myth, a dream? One of the delights of childhood is the 'happily ever after' endings to stories, but is this only for children? Don't you, at least secretly, wish for this? When things get really difficult is when we think about those endings. Sometimes 'happily ever after' is not a possibility. Sometimes bad things do happen... and to good people.

How we emotionally and intellectually proceed is another measure of our character. We all know what won't work - blaming others, pouting, complaining - but that doesn't mean we don't indulge in it... at least for while. Attempting to find how and what we are going to do next is not always obvious. And sometimes we don't, or at least don't believe we do, have the luxury of time to determine 'next'. Now what? Stumble on? Keep going in the same way? Change... to what? And exactly what is 'happily ever after' for you?

We've all been in these situations and we've lived through them, albeit not always well. But our world did not end, changed perhaps, but not ended. Happily? Sometimes... we actually are surprised by 'happily'. I believe that we can make our own 'happily ever after', in fact... we are the only ones who really can. And this is more than just 'making the best of things' or 'try, try, again', it really is a character issue that becomes a mindset. How do we proceed when happily ever after seems impossible to attain? Are we willing to pay the price for 'happily'?

Unfortunately, there are no easy answers to this dilemma and my answer may not be yours. What you need is to know how you can emotionally and intellectually move on creatively. Because that's the key - continuing, though perhaps not in the same direction or in the same way. You have the choice to look at life and discover the silver linings (no, not through rose colored glasses) or see only despair and destruction and become devastated.  Realistically, you have to look at your situation dispassionately and decide what your 'next' is. Hope is believing that you can and will find your happily ever after.

Look

How do you look? Remember that looking and seeing may not be the same. Do you see what is... or what you want to see... or potential? Three different ways of looking. What, to you, would be important to see - what would you want? And personally, if you looked at you - what would you see? Part of what we see depends on what we are looking for? Fame? Fortune? Prestige? And part depends on where we are looking? About you? Within you? Third is: when do we look? Only when it's convenient?

Webster has a host of explanations/definitions about 'look' (which often means that the word is far more complex than we typically give it credit for) but the one I like best is: to make sure or take care. The reason I like it is that it has an intellectual component - looking is not mindless. 'See' has nearly the same amount of explanations/definitions. And the adjective most often used is - perceive... also requiring the intellect involvement. My point is that this is an act that requires your involvement not merely a passing 'glance'.

2Corinthians 4:18 gives us a spiritual definition of looking: "...we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen." 5:7 continues the thought, "For we walk by faith, not by sight." This is not implying that we ignore the things that are seen but it gives a heightened reason, faith, to look beyond what is. Looking at what is requires no faith - it is. Looking with faith requires you to believe what has been written about what is rather than simply what you are seeing. 

Why need a spiritual definition? A simple example will provide the purpose. You know you. You know all your warts, your selfishness, the pain you've caused - how can you possibly accept the fact that you are a new creation without looking at yourself with new eyes? You also have to have the faith to believe that even when you sin you can go to the Father and receive forgiveness (1John 1:9) and then pick yourself up and try anew. To look, to really see not just what is but what you can't see can only occur spiritually.

Lied to...

I may be wrong but I think one of the worst feelings in the world is to discover that you have been lied to. It gets worse when you discover it is someone you care for, someone you had trusted. (The caveat is that the lie was deliberate and that it was substantive.) What becomes a kind of perverse icing on the cake is when you discover that other than them saving face, there was no real purpose in their lying. How do you feel upon this discovery? Angry? Yes. Hurt? Yes. Confused? Absolutely.

When the person who lied to you is a family member, a spouse or a child or a parent, the emptiness inside is nearly crushing. You now don't know how to react around them. Do we tell the person that you know they lied to you? If so, how? And the host of other questions you never thought you'd be facing but will need resolving increases. Forgive? Well, if you are a Christian, you have no choice - you have to forgive. But forget? Trust again? What do you do with all your emotions? Ignoring or denying them will never work - you have to come to terms with your sense of betrayal.

How do you react around that person in the future? While you may want to eke out some revenge or give them a taste of their own behavior, those options are not even in the mix of options.When the perpetrator is family, the likelihood of interaction is heightened and you are forced to confront your feelings quicker than you may be prepared for. But what do you do? You really can't act as if nothing has happened because it has. Personally I've never had the desire to act so I don't but I also know that what has occurred will cause a change in the interpersonal relations. A riff has been caused. Repairable?

The whole 'realm' of lies, lying is much larger than anyone ever imagines. The ripple effect that a lie causes is truly immense and the liar rarely sees all of the destruction their lie causes. And the myriad of emotions cascade one upon the other. Being the recipient of a lie is difficult to live with. Then again, we don't know the motivation of the person who lied ... why did they lie to us? We just know they did. But you haven't been the first nor will you be the last person facing this quandary. And if nothing else... you now know how the other person feels when you are the perpetrator of a lie.

NO!

Have you ever thought about the word, 'no'? About how the word is said evokes different reactions? But also, regardless of how it is spoken, when it is said it stops everything? Those two letters are powerful and I sometimes think they are even more powerful then 'yes'. Think back... what is typically the first word spoken by a child? It's 'no'. Why? Probably because it is one of the first words that make a connection in the mind, the first word heard. And it says, loud and clear, do not under any circumstance do whatever you are doing!

Typically our response to how we hear the word depends on: how the speaker says it, the level of personal investment in whatever is being said 'no' to, the ability of the 'no' to stop us, and the 'status' of the speaker. There are other considerations, but these are the ones that flash through our mind nearly instantaneously before we consciously react. I think it is because my parents always, yes - always, gave me a reason when they said no that I won't accept a bald no. My personal reaction has typically been, 'why?'. And if there isn't a reasoned answer, I simply disregard it. Do remember who it is that determines the 'reasoned answer'.

In my more rational moments I believe that 'no' should be part of any action plan. 'No' test the viability of what and why of the plan. 'No' doesn't always mean no forever, it may only be a momentary check so that all options and ramifications are considered.  Knowing the reason for a no gives you data to consider with the other options. Regardless, how we react to hearing 'no' is critical. We need to take a moment and react rationally.

Granted that what I've said is a tad tongue-in-cheek, there is a very serious side to our reaction to the word. When you hear it do you automatically accept it and change your direction/project/thinking without analyzing for yourself? Or, do you rush headlong into what you were doing disregarding the (possible) warning? Neither is particularly wise or effective. Perhaps the wisest course is to stop long enough to analyze the new information (the why of the no) before deciding what your best action may be. No may become a yes upon further consideration... then again, it may remain - no.

Stagnant

Do you ever feel stagnant? Are you, or is this only a momentary ennui? Do you only have a case of the blahs or is it more serious? Do you feel bereft of creativity? Perhaps you don't feel you have any exciting challenges or maybe you don't know where/how to start on your current project. Regardless... nothing appeals, nothing is totally 'wrong' but nothing is right either. One thing you do know... you're not moving!

But are you sure you are in a stagnant place? What's your evidence? And, if you are, what are you doing to change this... or are you only moaning? We all tend toward at least a bit of moaning but the point is to move beyond this. But how do you motivate yourself into action? I know this may sound simplistic but sometimes it's merely the act to do something, anything that will be the impetus. The reason is that action tends to be a force all by itself. And if the action isn't the 'right' one, you can change but if you are doing nothing this also is a force but not a positive one.

There's a scripture in Revelations that talks about being neither hot or cold - that's a terrible place to be in. Being neither can also be seen in the stagnant.  And God doesn't approve of this - He'd much prefer one or the other. Does this describe you? Are you really neither 'good' or 'bad' you really are only... tasteless? To me that would be a fearsome place. When you consider God's preference (to spew you out) for those who are neither, then it is dreadful. For me, this is sufficient to begin to change.

I know we all have moments of stagnation, but that's the key - moments, not a lifestyle nor a mindset. Stagnation/neither hot or cold/mediocre all point to a lack of involvement and commitment - to anything! And lack of commitment can be caused by all sorts of emotions - and that may be the fundamental problem, your unwillingness to stand and be counted, which requires courage and belief.

Risk

Are you a risk taker? What 'kind' of a risk taker? Are you defiant? Because if defiance is the basis for your risking then you are headed for a world of hurt. Risk can be defined as: challenge. Or adventure. Webster defines the word as: peril, menace, danger, threat, trouble. Actually I would also define it as excitement. I believe it's the possibility of threat or danger that entices us because it adds zest to our lives.

I read (Jacqueline Winspear's blog) that we all live with our own level of risk. So how much of a risk taker are you? Personally I'm more of the calculated risk taker. 'Most' of the time I know what I will lose if I risk and use that as the basis to decide to risk or not. But I am a card carrying risk taker. Yes, there is a place for safety and security but there's also a place for risk because the prize to be attained is worth it.

Risk is not risk for risk's sake - that's stupid and leads you into peril and menace. Risk needs to be viewed as alternative thinking. My definition of risk would include looking at what is and looking for a different way of responding. This is especially true when the old ways of reacting really don't accomplish what you hope for. Risk should move you beyond the ordinary and perhaps introduce you to the extraordinary.

It would seem to me that a life without risk isn't a life worth living. It's important to be able to step outside of your comfort zone, do something you could be called crazy for, maybe even fall flat on your face... as long as you get up and try again. It is those times when you get caught up in (whatever), when you follow your instincts that molds you and defines you. You have to know that not all risks will turn out as you'd like and perhaps what you have to pay for your 'folly' is significant but you won't end up wondering.... what if....

Reinvent

Do you focus on the 'what was', your 'new' or do you 'reinvent'? 'Re' means do again. Do you want to re-do?  ...or do something new, something different, something that's always lurked at the back of your mind (and heart)? Do you harbor this little seed that you don't let grow because if it did, you know, with that knowing deep inside you, that who you would become is definitely different than who you are now? Are you out of balance with part of you wanting one thing and another part of you attempting to fulfill responsibilities... or are they only expectations?

Do you feel that you are not being 'true' to who you are? So what's stopping you from being you? Other than you, of course. And why? Is it a lack of trust of and in yourself? Do you always do what's expected of you... or at least as much as possible?  Is it because you want others to like you and you're not certain they'll like this unknown new you? Or maybe you are being totally you and these questions aren't relevant. Regardless, how does 'reinvent' apply to you?

You can reinvent yourself into a truer who you are instead of having to act a part that's only partially you. Or perhaps it's all in the presentation so you really aren't reinventing yourself but you are reinventing how you present yourself. I somehow think we all go through times of reinventing ourselves - perhaps to
align with what is or is not happening in our lives. Reinventing is a form of coping because we all attempt to make sense of life.

The obvious question is - do other's see you as you see you or do you see you as other's see you? Two totally different mindsets. The second question is... do you care? I would argue that it is important. The first mindset lets you know if you are in sync with yourself and the second tells you if you need to be approved by others. Trying to balance differing views can be overwhelming. Your view of you and your world gives you a host of information about whether you need and/or want to reinvent life... as you see it.

Debt

I'm the type of person that really hates to owe anyone anything. I would rather hold off on a personal  'treat' than to have a debt hanging over my head. Maybe you aren't that way but in the back of your mind, until you do acquit your obligation, it will 'haunt' you. But have you ever found yourself in a position that there is no way you can ever repay? How do you respond to those people when you are in their presence? Guilt? Anger? Frustration? Embarrassment....? Gratitude? And I'm not merely talking about financial obligations.


How you respond to your responsibilities is one of the dimensions that identifies your character. Even more telling is how you respond to the other person until you have discharged your debt... and, how you continue to react to them. Our words and actions can give mixed messages, whether or not we acknowledge the debt and set about to fulfill the obligation we have.  However, equally important is how we treat other people when they owe us. Do we expect 'favors' from them? Do we treat them less favorably? All this also is a dimension of character.


You do realize, don't you, that God, Jesus owe you absolutely nothing. You are the debtor, you are the one who owes everything to them. So, how do you interact with God? Fearfully? Stoically? With bravado? With gratitude? Avoiding.... Actually there are a variety of ways to react which underscores  our interactions. How do you act as a debtor? Probably with a bit of discomfort but don't 'punish' God or the other person because you owe.


As long as we continue to interact with the Lord and acknowledge who we are and who He is, then we are 'righteous' in His eyes. When we sin - do we run to Him for forgiveness? When there is success, do we give Him the glory? Eventually, we all must come to that point and acknowledge that we will always be the debtor but that it's acceptable to the Lord - He knows. He only wants for our good. Will you, do you receive it knowing that you don't deserve it/you can't earn it... but it is for you?

Plop

Is that what you're expecting? That whatever you need/want will somehow miraculously 'plop' into your lap? Do you secretly believe this? When you ask others to pray for you do you then simply abrogate your involvement or responsibilities since it's now their responsibility to pray for whatever you need/want? You might be surprised at how many people do act in those ways... but you? How do you respond?

The first thing that you have to appreciate is that God is not a God of plopping. One of the definitions of plop is: to place or set carelessly or hastily and God never acts carelessly or hastily - that is not His nature. Or do you think He should in your case? Do you deserve 'more'? Modestly you'd probably respond 'no' but when you ask God to act contrary to His character, that's precisely what you are saying - "show partiality in my case".

Do you realize how demanding of God we are that He fulfill His promises to us and yet how cavalier we are when it comes to honoring His requests - basically to love and forgive? Why do we assume and presume? Sometimes it's because we realize that God is the only one who can get us out of the predicament we got ourself into. We need His help. But unfortunately we basically give empty promises to entice God to help and ignore the 'conditions' - we rarely look at the entire verse we are standing on, we look only at what God will do.

But... seriously! Can you think of anything that doesn't come with conditions: either to receive (whatever) or after getting 'it'? I would say, and without fear of contradiction, that there is absolutely nothing that isn't connected with conditions and not just the empty promises on our part. Think about it... In some fashion you have to be involved and complete the requirement(s) - conditions, the rest of the verse. If you don't do your part why should God do His? He does, remember He first loved us.

Everybody is Somebody

This is not a fatuous comment. We don't always act on this fact that everybody is somebody. Even that We are somebody. We can become dismissive of this, especially when it's someone we think we know well - like family. I think it's critical to be involved in all conversations, not just listening with half your thinking. I learned very young, thank heavens, that though we think we can end someone's sentence or that we think we know what they are saying, that it isn't always so. We may be surprised.

When we act by finishing the sentence (even when we are right) or responding to only the first half of the sentence rather than allowing the speaker to finish, we diminish them and we may not be right in what the speaker says next. I believe that this mindset plus my interminable questions (to discover if what they are saying is what I heard) formed my basis for communication. It makes for a more stable foundational basis for understanding. And, understanding really IS all it's cracked up to be. It is so far superior than assuming.

It appears that sometimes we forget that those who have accepted Jesus as Lord are a new creation (2Corinthians 5:17). And if you are a new creation, so is your brother and sister in the Lord. We need  a new paradigm and attempt to see others as God sees them - as Somebody. Equal. James 2:9 tells us that we can't show partiality and view one person higher than the other. Unfortunately we do.... for a variety of reasons, none justifiable.

Perhaps the reason we shouldn't engage in such thinking is that we end up missing who and what the person is. We are all unique with our own idiosyncrasies that add flavor and spice to who we are. If we don't take the time and opportunity to see the other person as somebody then we diminish them and also cheat ourselves.

Understanding

First... understanding is not agreement but it is the first step to know if there is communication. Are you hearing one another - actually, are you even listening? Are you speaking the same language (same words, same definitions)? Sometimes we discover we are using different words but meaning the same thing, thus the need to listen. Sometimes we discover we are using the same words but have different definitions, thus the need to listen. To agree you have to understand and to understand you have to listen. And to listen the speaker has to communicate. Both are responsible.

When I listen to you, I'm attempting to know your mindset, your frame of reference. If I don't want to know what it is you are saying and why then there's no point in listening. You can't listen in order to argue - that's equally pointless. You have to listen to understand. Once you have understanding then you can decide if you agree or not.

Assumptions is not a basis for understanding. In the first place, assumptions are based on your frame of reference not the other person. The problem is that either/both the speaker and listener could be operating from assumption of understanding. It is equally important for the speaker to be conscious of what they are saying as they are of what/how the listener seems to be hearing.

Communicating is also related to purpose. Why is the speaker saying what they are - providing content? attempting to influence? etc. - all of this needs consideration by both the speaker and listener. If my purpose is for you to understand what I'm saying then I will attempt to speak in a manner that includes you into the process. If all I'm doing is hearing myself talk then what's the purpose? But... never ask - 'what do you think?' unless you are ready to accept the response, it may not be what you expect.

Game... Sidelines

There's a uplifting movie about a young man who wanted to play football for Notre Dame. Though he didn't appear to have the talent, that didn't deter him from pursuing his goal. If anything speaks to heart rather than performance, that movie's character does. Applying that thinking, you need to know that God wants us to run our race not sit on the sidelines. Being a cheerleader for others is good but even the cheerleaders go onto the field... And standing right beside you, the Father is cheering you on and telling you that you can do it.

The point is your heart. You have been designed as an integral 'player' and, as such, you have a race to run and assignments to fulfill. Maybe your role is one of the cheerleaders, at times, rather than always on the field, but at some time you'll need to be involved with your game. What does your heart tell you? Your heart will tell your head where you should be and your head needs to be as committed and tenacious as your heart. This is not a mindless running into places 'angels fear to tread' - that's an opportunity for disaster. While your heart can lead you, your head has to be involved.

Who is leading? Perhaps the question is: how are you being led? By your desires, by others? By... Are you in your game? Too many times we point to the lack of resources, or it isn't the right timing, or you feel you have no support as reasons why you are standing on the sidelines waiting for a more opportune moment. That may not necessarily be inaccurate but sometimes it is only an excuse. No one else has to be in your game other than you. Granted we generally do have others to work with, but it is always you who has to be involved.

Being on the sidelines is rarely satisfying, even when you may not see the goal or feel that you have been beaten down by 'events'. You do know that if you need to change, you can? Take a good look at your reality: are you equipped or do you need to make some changes? Making changes may turn the tide in your favor but if you only sit on the sidelines defeated - what have you gained? Win or lose it's being in the game and doing your utmost that provides the greatest sense of achievement.