Transformed

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind..." (Romans 12:2). As you can see from this scripture we have 2 statements - to not be conformed and to be transformed. However, this is what we do. A magic wand is not waved over our heads so that we automatically are transformed.

So why is transformation important? Simple - so you can live proactive in the world rather than reactive. And exactly what is transformation? This transformation is exciting. 2 Corinthians 3:18 tells us that, "...we are being transformed into the same image (of the Lord) by the spirit of the Lord." This is a process (verse 18 - from glory to glory) that we become involved in.

We learn in Corinthians that when we make Jesus the Lord of our life that we are born anew and become an entirely new creation. Amplifying this, Ephesians 4:23 says, "...and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God in true righteousness and holiness." Colossians 3 specifies that we are to put off the old man - anger, wrath, malice, etc. And we are to put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him. None of that is automatic - it becomes a conscious act that we engage in.

Once started you never finish - there is no 'made it' in transformation. You'll never run out of ways to grow. One of the main questions is: are you in charge of your own transformation. Remembering that nothing stays the same, do you let the vagaries of life to dictate who you are and who you are becoming. Or... do you work with and trust the Holy Spirit to help you make the changes you need to be transformed?

Thank you Lord!

(This is typically said with an exclamation mark and a spoken, or not, 'whew'.) It struck me anew how quickly we are to say, 'Thank you Lord', when we've suddenly emerged or escaped from a difficult situation. Or, how we use those words when things are going well and we are happy and pleased and think about the source of our joy. But how often do we think about thanking the Lord when we're in a sticky situation? And please read this carefully - I am not saying we should be grateful for painful experiences, but we should be grateful in the situation.

Why? Because scripture keeps telling us to praise, to rejoice. If there was only one theme from Old through New Testaments it's a call to praise, to rejoice... to thank. There are countless scriptures from the Psalms, "...let all the earth, praise the Lord." to Philippians which says, "... again I tell you, rejoice." But in none of those scriptures does it tell us to thank the Lord for the situation.

Even if we only look at one 'case', Job is a perfect example. After everything was taken from him, after all the attacks, after his friends and his wife abandoned him he still would not blame the Lord and continued to honor Him. Why? Does God need our praise so badly that He will do anything to get it? I don't think so.

I would suggest that it is because of what happens to us when we praise and rejoice. When our focus is upon the Lord then the outside world ceases to influence us. It's at that time that we recall some of the scriptures we can stand on such as, "I will never leave you ..." and "... He will provide a way through..."

Thanking/praising the Lord is a lifestyle decision. It's not a behavior that is automatic, it is an act that requires your mind to be involved. It is your choice to live such a lifestyle... actually, you are invited to.

Anger

We all get angry, period. The difference lies in how we handle it. There are basically two ways: inward, which is extremely self-destructive and outward, which can also be self-destructive but can be resolved more quickly (apology). When anger is coped with internally the resultant behavior is typically passive aggressive in order to get what you want. When it is external, it typically results in very loud shouting in order to get what you want. Neither is effective.

When I was a child I had bright red hair and someone told me that this meant I had a quick temper. And I did - flash point. My lashing out was verbal as physical violence was never tolerated in my home. My quick temper was checked one day when my Mom said that the moment anyone lost their temper they would inevitably lose the argument. To me, the value of winning the argument was far more persuasive. At least this became the motivator to dampening my temper outbursts.

Anger can be motivating - potentially positive - or destructive - typically throwing the baby out with the bathwater. When anger is directed creatively to resolving an issue, it can sometimes be a force to bring a new perspective. The key in this is that it can't be personal - directed either at oneself or others. Personally directed anger is rarely productive. And we all know what happens when the anger is destructive- no one really 'wins' - and the positive attributes get trashed in the process.

Sometimes the main problem of losing one's temper is enlightened by a self analysis of what triggers our anger. There are the 'thems' out there that know how to cause us to lose our self control. We should know as well. If others can 'use' our anger.... why can't we?

Holiday

If ever there was a word that created nearly instantaneous warm feelings it's the word, 'holiday'. It can conjure up all sorts of reactions, mostly positive. The word evokes a change from the normal everyday activities and a great deal of joy. Often the word is related to thoughts of great food and in great quantities. Actually... the more I think about it, the more I find it difficult to think of any negative reactions to the word.

However... often the reason for the holiday is lost in the process. And with some of the holidays, the world has commercialized it nearly into greed. Probably the one with the greatest examples is what's happened to Christmas. But look at Thanksgiving. How much of your activity is devoted to thinking about, sharing those people and things you are grateful for versus thinking about the whether or not all the items for the feast will be ready at the same time?

To me, Christmas is the greatest holiday because it starts the salvation of mankind. Without Christmas there is no Easter and without Easter there is no salvation. And Jesus really is the reason for the season because if He hadn't been willing to be our propitiation we would be eternally lost. Sometimes we act as if He had no involvement in our creation and salvation. Because mankind needed a savior to re-establish the relationship between the Father and His creation.

Yes, I enjoy the hustle and bustle - the excitement in children's eyes and the mischief smile in the eyes of parents. Yes, I love all the decoration and food that's associated with the season. Yes, I love buying presents for those I love and remembering the joys of Christmases past. But... it is the inexpressible joy of knowing that I have been saved that is the biggest present of all.

Friendship

Friends are important. But how do you define the word? What makes a good friend? And... according to your own definition, are you a good friend?

According to Webster, a friend is: "a person whom one knows well and is fond of, an ally, supporter, sympathizer". This definition provides 5 essential qualities - known, fond of, ally, supporter, sympathizer. This also informs us how we are to act in order to be considered a friend by someone else. Obviously this list is far from exhaustive, but it does provide a foundation.

Actually, I'm not certain there are any universals in a list of qualities used to determine friendship. We all may hold some of the same qualities but not in the same ranking order. The issue in all this is - do we know what these are and how we recognize them? Let me give one example... One quality that I prize is the ability to be whoever I am at a moment in time but not to be confined to that - to be able to change, grow, mature and to make mistakes. This particular quality has to be one of the highest that I value.

Another person who enters our world brings their own frame of reference and this can provide us with the ability to expand our understand - as long as we are open. We don't have to agree but we can provide one of the five Webster defined qualities - support. But this needs to be a reciprocal situation - you need to feel that your frame of reference is honored.

Friendship is a very precious gift that is given and received.... and esteemed.

Fence Sitting

It really is quite uncomfortable being a fence sitter. Plus, no one can count on you because you are constantly trying to shift your position to still stay on the fence but be in a more comfortable position. Not going to happen. And with all the shifting going on - do you know where you stand?

I suspect that some of the fence sitting lifestyle comes from a people pleasing desire. If you don't 'choose' then you won't be rejected. It won't work, you know, because others pick up on your lack of commitment to one position or the other and have no basis to trust in you. Why would anyone seek your involvement if they know that you may change your mind the next time you are in communication with someone with an opposing view?

Another cause for fence sitting may be an avoidance of making commitment.... to anything. If you don't commit then you never have to take a stand for a particular position thus keeping your options open. Not true. Your option is a no option stand.

What other reasons are there for fence sitting that don't fall under people pleasing or an unwillingness to commit? None. If you were to offer the ... I don't have enough facts to make a decision... reason, then when will you? The 'in process' position, at some point, does need to take a stand.

You can't be a both/and on your stand - you must be willing to stand strong. However, taking a stand doesn't mean that you can't change your mind. If you find that the stand you've made is no longer viable, you need to correct your position. But whatever change you make, you need to be as overt about the change as you were about the original.

Remember: If you don't stand for something you will fall for everything. (A slight paraphrase of the famous quote by Edmund Burke) And it is true. If you don't know where you stand then you are fence sitting and fence sitting is a coward's position.

Presumptuous

Are you presumptuous? The answer is that we all are, in some fashion, and especially so with God. Presumptuous in my world of definitions is: typically overt, expectation not based in hope but based in a more demanding sense. We expect, underlined, that God will do what we are wanting. There is no, or little, humility in the request.

Sometimes, in order to get whatever it is we want, we take a 'bargaining' posture. "I'll do (fill in the blank) for you God if you'll do (fill in the blank) for me." As if doing what's ultimately in our best interest would entice the God of all the universe to stop and do whatever it is we want in the time and method we want. And.... how often would/do we fulfill our part of the bargain? To me, bargaining is the highest form of presumptuousness.

Admittedly, presumptuousness is not always that blatant. However, our level of expectation can be a problem if for no other reason than we prostitute hope. I know that sounds severe and harsh but how would you define what happens to hope in this situation?

In a very real way presumptuousness is a cancer. It has the potential to eat away all the strength we have because we have, "... you don't receive because you ask amiss...". It can also affect everything else in our lives to the point that we are near death. What we need do is to take a hard analysis of what we are when we expect God to respond to our wants in a particular way and in a particular time.

It's been said that God is never late - and He isn't. It may at the last moment, but if so then it's for our best. And He always answers prayer - perhaps not how, when we want or the answer we want but He is constantly looking out for our best. It's our choice to trust Him.

Success

Success can be punctuated with a period or an exclamation mark - both valid, but one has more celebration associated with it. But, what is success? Webster says it is: "a favorable result, the gaining of wealth, fame, etc." When you think about the word, what people pop to mind that you consider successful? Are they associated with wealth and fame? What about you - are you successful according to that standard... or, do you judge success by a different one?

Probably from the way I stated my question you already suspect that I would suggest a wider definition of success that merely the gaining of wealth, fame. Success is directly related to your personal values, what you consider important regardless of others' thinking. It is your unique determination of values that will inform you of your level of success.

Success is not a fixed point unless the value is quantitative and most values are not easily quantified. And this becomes the dilemma, what constitutes 'success' on a unquantifiable value? Again, the issue is resolved only by you. What satisfied your conditions? And once satisfied, are you finished or is this an ongoing issue?

Success is not easily defined but everyone needs to have some basic definition to know, for themselves, where they are on the continuum. Some of the determination comes from others. We all need to feel that we are successful but to base this totally on others is folly. It must be internalized - truly it must come from you for any satisfaction to occur.

Potential

Do you consider yourself a person of 'potential'? A person of promise? You are, you know. And how you feel has absolutely nothing to do with it. Scripture provides us with many evidences of this. Actually this is a double edged sword because others also expect you to fulfill your potential.

The alternative to being a person of potential is definitely not one to be pursued but discovering your own potential can be somewhat arduous - worth it, but not simple. Then once you've discovered where your potential lies, you have the responsibility to fulfill it. And that isn't easy either. It seems that one is constantly proving oneself.

Is there an alternative? None that I've found. It is a given. You have potential. Once you discover where your talents and gifts lie, then you have the responsibility to act on them. And, you'll be constantly challenged. It does make for an interesting life.

You see - the difference in all this is you and your attitude. As long as you don't waste your energy on trying to change a given, an immutable then your entire approach changes. You can tackle what ever problem/issue/opportunity/question, etc. with which you are faced without the baggage of anger.

Also you can rest on the scriptures that support you such as: "I know the plans I have for you. Plans for a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11) Future and hope are both positives and can lead you as you fulfill your potential. As for enemies to you and your future - always remember that the Lord said that if He was for you, who could stand against you?

Potential is the gift God gives each person, what you do with it is your gift to Him.

Compromise

"What you compromise to keep.... you'll lose." I first heard this from Oral Roberts. I don't know if this is original with him or if he was quoting someone else. However, if you think about it - there is always a loss in compromise. And this is true for all involved/concerned. And yes I realize that compromise is sometimes considered the only path to resolution.... as long as you don't 'compromise' your values.

I believe the issue is one of - what are you willing to forgo in order to attain something? A 'something is better than nothing' attitude isn't always correct. Plus, often one believes that compromise is the only answer and it may not be a correct perception. So... is the prize important? If it is then you probably are less likely to compromise. The prize is the determinant for compromise.

Some people automatically assume that compromise is the only answer to a two sided situation. Not necessarily. Compromise should always be the last resort - not the first. Cogent facts should always sway minds.... yes, I know, not always. However, taking the 'come let us reason together' approach to a disagreement is a far better way of arriving at the best answer. I do realize that it does take more time but I'm an advocate that the best resolution is worth the effort.

Compromise isn't all 'bad' but it is not necessarily the best answer. And it can definitely be a detriment to the unorthodox approach to resolution. Compromise should be weighed in light of the particular issue and, if found wanting, be discarded. Or, accepted if it provides the only means to resolution and advancement.

Giving your best

Are you the 100% type or do you hold 'something' back, hold it in reserve? When you wake in the morning and are conscious, do you make it an intention of your heart to do your very best in the day? Or do you not think about it and just 'wait and see'?

I would suspect that most people either don't think about it or they wait till they are called upon and then determine, by the seat of their pants, how much they are willing to invest in whatever it is. However, there are those rare individuals who do predetermine that they will give their utmost into whatever they are called upon to do. These are the 'giving your best' types - rare, very rare.

Perhaps you are a selective giving your best type. The, 'it depends on the situation' determiners. So, my question to you is - how do you determine just how much you are willing to invest? Is this a moment-by-moment determination? And which emotion guides these decisions? Anger? Fear? Ends/means decision? And those are only a few of the possible filters you can use.

And then there are always those who never give their best for fear that they may be needed at another time/place which would conflict with giving all now. Or, the just don't care types. The point in all this is - who are you? A giver? Or a conditional giver?

I would like to think that I'm in the giving my best standing but I seriously doubt it. However, I'm also the type that doesn't commit to everything or everyone, I'm quite selective. But to/with those concepts, ideals, people I am committed to I do tend to be an 'all or nothing at all' type. And commitment is really at the bottom of giving. I do believe that without commitment it is impossible to give your best. Commitment is really the filter. What have you committed to?