Gift Giving & Gift Receiving

Without question my Dad was the greatest gift giver I've ever known. Mom was excellent but Dad ratcheted it up to 'rather superb'. He would find items that no one else would even have thought about at first blush, but they were always spot on. However, he was also the world's worst gift receiver. I never understood this or knew why but he was. Mom, on the other hand, was able to adroitly blend both.

Gift giving and receiving is an art. The giving requires you to really think about the person you are giving the gift to and attempt to find something that reflects who they are and/or their interests. Sometimes a gift meets a need and sometimes it meets a want. Personally, I prefer the latter. You need to be able to appreciate the other person in order to find the gift that would most delight them. If not.... why bother?

The gift receiving is a little trickier. And this is where you need to be able to appreciate the other's intent even if the gift is not precisely what you need or want. The fact that the other person went to the trouble and expense of getting you a gift should demonstrate something to you - that you are appreciated, liked, loved. To me, it is always the look on the face of the person giving the gift that is the key to their involvement. Are they excited? Is there a gleam in their eye? Do they look like they'd like to rip the paper off to get to the gift to see your expression?

When God gave His Son as a gift to mankind, he was meeting both a need and a want. Jesus is truly the gift, and the only gift, that meets the need for salvation and the want of a savior. And this is also a gift that keeps on giving. When we accept the gift and make Him our Lord, He steps into the void and provides us with all the gifts we need for a full and fruitful life. All we need do is to accept the gift given.

Helping others to forgive you....

Perhaps it may appear ludicrous, but one aspect of forgiveness that I hadn't previously considered is helping others forgive you. Just like you don't want to be burdened with unforgiveness, you need to be conscious of this for others who may be harboring unforgiveness toward you.

Somehow I don't think that our asking for forgiveness stops with the request. Unfortunately, there is no set 'what to do' or when or how in the assisting others to forgive you, I just believe that there is no IF. Realizing that your assisting may not result in their walking in forgiveness, I still believe that we need to do what we can. This is the redeeming part of forgiveness.

However, I would suspect that one of the components that would help another is whether or not they believe in the sincerity of the apology. If they sense it is merely one of form from you rather than heart intent then it will be difficult for them to move on. On the other hand if they feel you really are sorry then they will be more likely to accept. And the best way they can judge is if your behavior is changed as a result.

Apologies, forgiveness, moving on are always based on whether or not there is a perceived change. This doesn't mean you have to agree with the other person or become someone you aren't, but it does mean that you understand the implications from what you did and are willing to acknowledge your error and desire to make amends.

Discipline

I don't know anyone who seeks or likes discipline. Typically it is, minimally, uncomfortable but on the flip side - the potential is enormous. The experience can be painful but the resultant learning is always significant. The important consideration is how you approach discipline.

Discipline is almost always associated with punishment but that really is a short sided view. While punishment can be involved discipline is more a mindset than an action. When I was growing up, 'punishment' in my home was meted out principally by my Mom, and her approach was more of a... come let us reason together. Therefore, my approach in negative situations and potential 'punitive' ones is... what was learned?

I remember that one of Mom's favorite approaches to misdeed was, what do you think your punishment should be? I hated that because my punishment was always greater than what she would have done. But it also caused me to look at the responsibility issue and what ramifications occurred from an act.

But this is the effect from going contrary to what one should be doing which, though related, is not the heart of discipline. Discipline is character producing and is not necessarily punishing however, it is always corrective. The context is learning and developing. It is always highly focused.

Scripture talks about discipline being harsh for a season which indicates that it is related to the immediate behavior that is self defeating. But as soon as the lesson is learned, the disciplining ceases because it is time to move on. Discipline is related to who you are becoming which is why it is character building.

Justice and Mercy

Perhaps somewhat childlike, though I would refute childish, I have always had a strong sense of justice. You can sense it in my black and while approach to life and issues. Justice was something that I was brought up to believe in and hold dear.... at all costs. It may not have always been the popular stand or even an easy one, but it was the standard. Justice, not so much unrelenting, but the quality that should always prevail. I must admit I haven't changed much from this stand.

Mercy? Mercy was a quality that, in my mind, was something quite apart from justice. Justice first and then show mercy. I suspect I would still love to see justice prevail but unfortunately I have lost the faith that there are many who would agree. Simultaneously I have a great suspicion that mercy has been the replacement, one doesn't always see mercy being the prevailing standard either.

If it is mercy then it transcends so many other qualities and vices. If you show mercy then you can't show martyrdom or anger or superiority and especially not revenge.... and the list of what is not acceptable is enormous. Mercy is like an open outstretched hand with no hidden agenda or personal prejudice. Mercy is far stronger.

At the same time I have come to see my need for mercy. In a very real way, mercy supersedes justice. And if there is a personal need to be treated merciful then there is an equal need and requirement to show mercy to others. In a strange way I have come to appreciate mercy. I know unequivocally that if the Lord hadn't shown mercy toward me then I would be lost. If He is willing to do this for me then I need to do this for others.

Praise

"Let everything that has breath, Praise the Lord" the scripture tells us. This is one of those statements that's punctuated with an exclamation mark, not just a period. Praise is so important that a whole book is devoted to this - Psalms. And praise is so critical to our own mental health that it's not just a suggestion.

Webster says that praise is: to glorify as in song. Scripture defines it as boasting about with words and singing, lauding, exalting, celebrating. However, it should be obvious that this is not something one does quietly in one's head. Praise isn't made for silence nor is it solely an intellectual exercise. Praise is an activity that is filled with joy and honor to the one being praised. The focus of praise is obvious - it is the Lord.

I cannot emphasize strongly enough the importance of praise. I know we are instructed to praise but the more I think about it the more I believe it's for us, more that just a tribute to Him. There is 'something' that happens to us when we are praising. We are transported out of a focus on just ourselves and our situation into an acknowledgement and intentionality toward the one being praised.

The content of praise is important. I do not believe that we are to Praise the Lord for everything that happens but I do believe that we are to praise Him in all that happens.

Overcome

Are you an overcomer? Do you think, act, believe you are an overcomer? More particularly... do you know you are an overcomer? Or are you one of the overcomed - and yes I know overcomed is not a word but it does portray the reality. I'm not sure you can be on a continuum between the two extremes because to overcome, you have to make a stand. Believe it or not, overcoming is a choice. And you either are an overcomer or you are an overcomed.


Webster defines overcome as: "to master, prevail over, or surmount". That is a strong statement requiring strong action and equally strong believing. It is the believing that's the first step. You have to believe that you can overcome, that you have within you far more ability and assistance than whatever it is you are overcoming. Actually I think you have to know you can overcome.

Being an overcomer is not a passive action. You have to do something, but no, fortunately, you don't have to do it alone. I suspect that it can be argued that overcoming is a process, that one doesn't overcome overnight or by snapping one's fingers. True. But that first step is critical. You have to take an action and belief is the foundation.

I can't stress strongly enough that you aren't in this alone. You have all the resources for success available to you: prayer, scripture, and the statement from God that He will never leave or forsake you and He will provide a way through the trial. Overcoming is a trial but one you can win - IF you choose to. And yes, you are strong enough but you have to be willing to take a stand.

Inspiration

Motivation is one key in our repertoire of what moves us. But if motivation is the action verb then inspiration is the force behind it. Inspiration is the heart of our actions. But what is 'inspiration' and what are the specifics, individually?

One of the definitions that Webster provides us with is: "any stimulus to creative thought or action". And while thought is part of the formula, the emphasis is on action. We always do something with what inspires us. But we need to identify the 'any stimulus'. So what are your stimuli? Because this is a plural word - there are a variety of ways we are stimulated.

Again referring to Webster, a 'stimulus' is an incentive to action. It can be argued that inspiration always leads us to action. Typically we consider inspiration as a positive word, a word leading us to actions that are 'good', but do remember inspiration can have its opposite affect - leading us into areas we should avoid.

Personally I've always associated inspiration with creative. And I believe we all are creative in one way or another - our responsibility is to discover where and how we are creative. I also believe that our creativity gives our lives meaning. However, don't limit 'creative' because it is not just art or music or writing - it is far more extensive.

Just like our Creator God brought the worlds and life into existence through His creativity, He also planted a spark of creativity in us. And that spark of creativity inspired men and women throughout history. Your spark of creativity will also inspire others.

Bible

Have you ever thought about how truly remarkable the Bible is? Perhaps 'remarkable' doesn't even come close to capturing the sheer enormity of it. If all you were to do is to look at the logistics of the book, even then it is considerably more than just remarkable. This is a book that was written over centuries of time by tens of authors but only one source of inspiration - God. And it is the Word of God or it is the biggest fraud in history!

If the length of time isn't a feat in and of itself then consider the multitudes of people who have been influenced by it and have not sought to grandize themselves in the process. Consider the prophetic elements in the book, penned hundreds of years before they are actualized. And, all of the prophecies, save one, have come to fruition as predicted. If those facts don't cause you to pause and consider the Bible, do you know of any other book that has accomplished the same?

Actually, it's what you do about and with the Bible that is the significant consideration. There are those who would accept certain parts of the Bible and not others. And there are those who would like to add to it. Why? In the first place who is able to determine what should/can be accepted and what isn't? Simply because I don't understand certain parts, the motivation behind certain acts doesn't make them 'wrong'/unacceptable. And there is the scripture that talks about adding or changing any word....

For me, in the final analysis I have to either accept or reject the Bible as the word of God. Every word - not just the parts I like or accept. If I reject it, what have I to stand on as my personal philosophical foundation? My life would truly be built on shifting sand. If I accept it then I become engaged in a life long journey of discovery to understand, because the Bible is NOT a book to be read only once. The Bible is the foundation, the handbook, for living my life.

Selfish

Do you consider yourself selfish? Altruistic? Somewhere on the continuum between them? Selfish, like pride, is one of those behaviors that we feel should be avoided at all costs. And while I would never try to make a case for selfish, I do believe we need to be aware of what it is and what its effects can cause. And most important - what do we do/say when we are.

Selfish needs to be defined so we all have the same framework. Selfish, for the most part, tends to be solely self enhancing - looking out for oneself to the exclusion of all other considerations. In choosing between self sacrificing and selfish, for the person who is self serving, there is no choice. And we see examples of this behavior every day... some of it our own. But there are also much subtler examples.

One question that needs to be asked: is acting in one's best interest always selfish? Is there ever a situation that 'requires' us to be selfish? An argument can be made that the end result needs to be known in order to determine whether or not the behavior was selfish. If the end result was to the detriment of someone else then a case can be made for selfishness. But...I'm not going to provide an answer, it needs to be answered by each person. Part of the consideration of this topic is for each person to have a clear perception of themselves and their behavior.

Most critical to an understanding of when and how one is selfish, because we all are at some time or other, is... what about the intent of one's heart? And self preservation, regardless of reality, does impact on one's behavior. So perhaps the question should be - how do you mitigate against all pervasive selfishness? Simple denial is never, in my opinion, a method of working through selfish behaviors.

HOW to renew

It's one thing to be told you need to renew your mind and another thing to know how to go about renewing. There are a number of things one can do and probably all are things one should do. I believe it's not so much a question of how to begin as it is to... begin. So, what to do?

One thing that's critical to renewal is to discover who you now are since you have accepted Jesus as Lord. Who you are is described in great deal throughout the New Testament. Ephesians does an excellent job of identifying who you now are. One of the easiest methods is to read your name every time the Word says: in Him, in Christ - that's who we are. For example: in verse 1:3 we find that we are blessed with every spiritual blessing. In verse 4 we see we are chosen that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love. So you'd say... in Christ (your name) is blessed and in Him (your name) is without blame before Him in love. But don't just think it - say it out loud, the impact is increased in hearing that you, YOU are...

In only two verses we find we are blessed, chosen, holy, without blame. And this is only the beginning. But it begins to identify who we now are and tell us who we are to be renewed into. So discovery is the anchor of renewal. But how do we go about this. The simple answer is prayer and study.

We have a handbook and it's called Scripture. In its pages we find who we are and in finding the who we are doing the how and are becoming renewed. Another equally important component in how is prayer -our conversation with God. Both are important in the 'how' to renew.

Renewing

One of the more important instructions Paul gives us is to renew our minds. This is not some idle suggestion since he makes it more than once. And it's not a magic wand that's twirled over our heads when we are born again that instantaneously creates a new mindset, this is a daily ongoing activity that we have the responsibility for. Fortunately not alone - we have help.

But it is also very clear that it is our responsibility. In Romans (12:2) Paul says we should not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing. And in Colossians 3:10 he tell us, "... to put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him (Jesus)...". Put on.

Renewing is a putting on.... which implies a putting off. Consider some of the behaviors/ emotions we are to put off: worry for faith (Philippians 4:6-8), despair for hope (Psalms 33:17), anger for love (1Corinthians 13), sorrow for joy (2Corinthians 6:9), gloom for cheerfulness (Philippians 4:4), jealousy for contentment (Philippians 4:12).

Those are only some of the trades we are to make. We are to put off worry, despair, anger, sorrow, gloom, jealousy. But in the putting off we are to put on: faith, hope, love, joy, cheerfulness, contentment. Again, these are only some of the trades we get to make but the really wonderful news is that we can! If it weren't possible, we wouldn't be told to do this.

Renewing takes time and takes dedication because the old and familiar of the put offs sometimes seem to be simpler. But the cost of those behaviors and emotions can sap you of your strength. Putting on the new is worth the cost. Renewing is an ongoing conscious act until the new becomes who we are.