Conundrums and Oxymorons

I really love those two words... conundrum, oxymoron - they just frolic off the tongue. Better yet, I like the definitions of those two words - they suit my rather ironic view of words. In case you aren't completely sure of definitions, conundrum is a puzzle. It can be, "a riddle whose answer is or involves a pun". Another definition is, "a question or problem having only a conjectural answer". Either definition works for me but I especially enjoy the second one.

As much as my philosophy is black or white not both, not gray - I enjoy the fact that we often have to operate on partial information thus letting ourselves in for a conjectural response. I suspect that this is why I'm so insistent upon knowing the options and the ramifications from them. Granted one rarely knows all of them but also we need to prepare for this.

A conundrum forces us to be creative, to look beyond the obvious (without discounting it simply because it is obvious) - to be inventive. Bottom line is that it forces us to consider why we are thinking the way we are and to be open to other alternatives.

An oxymoron is, "a combination of contradictory or incongruous words or elements". I suspect that my enjoyment stems from a love of double negatives, which I employ at every opportunity. However, this word also provides some of the same stimulus as conundrum does - it forces us out of a non-thinking response.

Too often we merely parrot the response that is familiar thus we need not think about it and don't delve into the question/statement by someone else. Oxymorons don't allow us this easy answer approach. Simply... it forces us to actually 'be' in the moment rather than being physically in one place and in the mind - far, far away.

Conundrums and oxymorons are the surprise in the moment. They provide us with opportunities to think in different ways.

'Best' for whom...

Have you ever been told that something is best for you? Or have you used that line on others? The answer is 'yes' to both. It's the last ditch attempt at influence. It also rarely works. Or maybe it does work - but to what end? And with what conviction?

Definition time- best in what sense? Assuming the scenario that you are the one using the phrase, have you really thought it out? Is it really the best for the other person? Or.... is there any residual positive impact for you if they choose to act on your advice? Is there a conflict of interest?

Simply because it is also good for you doesn't disqualify it - but it does require an analysis as to your motive. (And you need to apply the same thought pattern if you are the one being influenced.) Why is it the best for you? What are other options? Does the other person really have my best interests at heart? This last question is more of a trust issue but is still relevant.

The last point to consider is what is stopping you and what is convincing you? If you do something simply because someone else says it's a 'good idea' or 'best' for you - your level of commitment isn't high enough for when the problems come. If something is truly 'best' for you and you aren't operating in a fear vacuum then you have your answer.

What we need to remember is that if it really is 'best' for you/the other person then the fact that you made it know to then and suggested/endorsed it will lodge in the memory to be extracted at some time in the future... if it really is 'best'.

Opportunity knock????

Maybe. Maybe not. I recently heard that opportunity doesn't knock it quietly passes by our window. It's not that it tip toe's past but it also doesn't pound on the door! Obviously it will come in when invited but it doesn't intrude if it isn't wanted. It's not going to force itself on you but it also doesn't run away.

My point in this is that we always need to be alert to opportunities that are presented. Some of them will be for the moment. Some will be for later and some will never be for you - for another perhaps. So, opportunities are to be shared, as well as acted upon. I believe that the primary response to opportunity is to act - not in haste, but decidedly.

Life is constantly providing opportunities on a variety of levels so part of our responsibility is to sift out those that 'fit' us and share the other ones. However.... there are those opportunities that don't comfortably our image of ourselves so we dismiss them out-of-hand. I would contend that we rob ourselves with that attitude. Never dismiss an opportunity simply because it doesn't 'feel' right at the moment. Likewise don't accept it because it appears to 'stretch' us.

Talking out of both sides of my mouth? Admittedly it appears that way. I think that what I'm attempting to do is to suggest that we look with both eyes wide open at what is being presented. But fear should never be the motivator to do or to not do something. 'Something new' can be exciting and it can be disastrous - always look, eyes wide open, at the options of doing and not doing something. That can be your key to your answer.

Ministry

Did you realize you are called to full time ministry?! You are. Right where you are. There is a saying that you may be the only Bible that someone may read. That's both a tremendous responsibility as well as an incredible opportunity. It should not make you fearful that you might say or do the wrong thing - it should send you to the One who can empower you to be effective.

Never think that what you say or what you do is unimportant. It has enormous potential. You really need to appreciate that you have a great deal of 'power' through your words, through your actions.... in the world in which you live. The reason is to touch your world with the grace and mercy of the Lord.

Not all ministry is 'professional' - as a pastor of a church. But then... scripture doesn't define pastoral ministry as the only ministry. Those who have that particular call on their lives should be held up in prayer - that's our responsibility. But it is also important for you to discover your 'call'.

Ephesians, 1 Corinthians, and Romans talk about the gifts that have been given to the church, "...for the edification of the church.". Scripture teaches us that we all have a gift for the benefit of all. What we need to do is to discover our particular endowment and then share it. As we each take our place and share our gifting the church grows stronger and becomes equipped to carry out the mission, the vision for that church.

Ministry is never an 'if'. It is always a given.

Easy Answer

Have you ever had a question that was responded to with an easy answer? We all have and I've become very suspicious of easy answers, especially to hard questions. It's not that the answer couldn't be a simple one.... it just rarely is. It also doesn't mean to throw out the easy answer because that could be the best one, but it also doesn't mean to accept it on face value.

How do you know if it's an 'easy answer'? Quite simply. If the response to your query seems glib or seems uncategorical I would recommend rethinking that answer. Rarely, rarely - not never, do questions have but one response - and those that insist that there is only one response to the question should be re-examined.

This may sound silly, but consider the words the person uses in responding to your question. If their answer is peppered with "I" responses and no qualification, it obviously is that person's approach but it may not be best for you. Anyone who responds with options for you to consider is looking at the question and not at their answer. Personally, I much prefer this because option responding is allowing me to make my own decision rather than merely following theirs.

Easy answers are simple to provide, but they may not be the best approach. If you are receiving easy answers then don't dismiss them but likewise look at the consequence of you following that advice. If your goal is to be helpful to another asking the question then try and provide options for the other person to consider - their situation may be starkly different from yours.

Righteous

We need to begin with a definition so we're all operating from the same frame of reference. Righteous means being in right standing with God. A simple enough concept but also one that's difficult to maintain. Now... how important is righteous to you? The answer should be - all important, because it is. Simply because you are saved doesn't keep you in right standing.

Bottom line is that we all mess up, it's inevitable. The mess up can run the gamut from basically unintentional to really, really bad. But once we are conscious that we have, what do we do. Typically we justify our actions or bluster around with a self righteousness that is incredibly ineffective. Watch a child when they know they've done something wrong - we're just an older version of this.

One thing we need to have planted firmly in our heads is that when we say we have sinned, because that's precisely what we did, it is not the first time God knew about it. Also, He wasn't overwhelmed by our behavior - it's not the first time He's seen it. What we should do is to run TO the Lord not from Him. 1John1 gives us our method to re-establish relationship: confess and He is quick to forgive. This is a far more satisfactory way to end this infraction.

I like the fact that He will forgive, even when we're in the wrong - as long as we acknowledge we were wrong, and set us on our feet again. We always can return to the status of being righteous with God.

What I've just explained is a very simplistic view of righteousness and how to maintain it. It really doesn't need to be more complicated that this. But.... the state of being righteous is one not to be lightly dismissed - the price for this was incredible. 1Corinthians tells us why: Jesus, who knew no sin was made to be sin so that we could be the righteousness of God. That was our entry. Jesus' death and resurrection was the price. Righteousness is a tremendous gift.

Filtered Seeing

HOW you see is probably equal to if not more important than what you see. Because how you see is filtered through what you think, what you believe, what you like, what you don't like, etc. And we all see through filtered eyes.

An easy way to make my point is how 6 people will describe what they saw - which is in 6 different ways. One may emphasize the colors that were worn by those involved. Another may emphasize the emotions that they saw. Still another may describe what was seen surrounding the 'event'. The point is we all focus in on some aspect and only partially see the other components.

This is not a right/wrong - this is simply fact. But it does give us some understanding and it does give us a warning. Whatever we hear as related by someone, we must realize that they are relating what they saw, their 'how'. This places a responsibility on us to appreciate that there is probably a great deal more.

So, how do you see? What is it you tend to focus on, and thus not see the entire picture. Knowing this can help us in responding - not jumping to conclusions. We need a broader swath in our picture. Personally I like to ask the person I'm with what it is they saw - this gives me at least one more perspective on which I can make decisions.

Scripture says that we see through a glass darkly but in the end we will see as we are seen. It's not so much that the masks will no longer be needed.... it's much more extensive than that. We will finally see all that there is to see. Our view will be full and not filtered.

Code

As I was watching one of the few programs on TV that I do view, one of the characters made the comment, "Everyone needs a code to live by." What a great line! And how true! A bit of a 'duh' I grant you but sometimes it is the obvious that's missed.

Everyone DOES need a code to live by. Equally important is how you develop it, what's the source of your code, is it words only or do you act/live by it, etc. For most people, one's personal code is a kind of.... I have one but I don't have it all written down...... Not good. How do you know to act on the code if you don't know the code? I think that's why I like Gibbs on NCIS - he knows his code and he knows it so well that he can even give you a number and you know what it relates to.

Codes are suppose to be so ingrained, so part of your character that you walk your code and, as you do, others can tell what you believe in by your walk. The reality that many forget is that whatever you believe, you will walk by it. It's not possible to sustain a prolonged farce - your essence will eventually be visible. So, are you kind? If so then your behavior will emanate kindness and others will see it. Are you angry? The same - your behavior will portray it.

If kindness is part of your code then many behaviors will support this. If 'your way or the highway' is part of your code then, again, you will exhibit those behaviors in a variety of ways. The point in this is - your code will always display itself and reinforce itself. Therefore, is your code one that you would want others to imitate? Are you who and what you want to be?

Salvation - forever?

Can you lose it? It kind of begs the question - who would want to? However, I do know that there are opposing views depending on the denomination. I take a somewhat simplistic view.

Having received forgiveness and come into the family of God, I'm not going to get into arguments with fellow brothers and sisters, who - I believe that they believe what they are saying - may not believe in exactly the same way on those issues, important though they are, that are more of a opinion or interpretation of scripture call. (How's that for a sentence!) For me, as fundamental as Salvation is, 'losing it' is part of the 'opinion' call area.

I realize that those who say you can lose salvation are relying on a scripture (Hebrews 6:4-6) that talks about losing what you have. However this, in my opinion, is a conscious act, not an accident - you choosing to give away your salvation. And, if you read all of that scripture, it is also talking about the Holy Spirit.

I remember when I was a new Christian that this was one of the first 'disagreements' I witnessed - the you can and you can't lose your salvation 'camps'. I remember wondering about this because could I lose it and not realize I did? Could I do something, inadvertently and be forever lost? That was definitely scary.

Finally I felt that I got some understanding on this issue and the main point was that of choice. If I lost my salvation it would be a throwing away act not a mis-step - a conscious decision to walk from the Lord. It would also include a blaspheming of the Holy Spirit, again consciously.

Could I subsequently repent of that? Don't know. Scripture seems to indicate that I couldn't. However, in the final analysis... this is not my determination nor someone else's. This is between that person and God.

Praying

I somewhat got the cart before the horse in talking in my previous post about Answered Prayer and talking about Praying in this one. However, that's really not critical because it is important to understand that ALL prayer is answered, just maybe not how we expect. No one is likely to pray if they don't think it is useful.

Praying is a very personal act and I'm going to share my approach which may seem very different from what you think praying should be. For me, I don't speak in the Thee and Thou terminology - I don't ridicule those who do, it just doesn't work for me. When I am praying I am talking with three people - Father, Son, Holy Spirit - who love me and have my best interests at heart. This is my foundation for prayer.

Praying is two-way communication: I talk and I listen. I've been promised in scripture that His people will hear His voice, so I expect to. Defining what that is or how that works, however, can't be explained by me - it's something I know. This may seem too familiar for some who focus on the awesomeness, the majesty of the focus of the praying. But I certainly don't mean to imply this. My point is - relating: I have difficulty relating to anyone who is not someone I can talk with. And how can I listen to someone who is so far removed from me?

Praying is exciting and fun. Somewhat strange reaction perhaps but that's what it is for me. I enjoy it and I am uplifted by it - I am empowered and energized. It's quite simple - I have a conversation with the Triune God and discover His plans for me for the day and make my requests to Him. It truly is the best way to begin a day.

Answered Prayer

For me, prayer is not just important - it is a critical component in my life. I can, but I don't like to start the day without first taking time to pray. Prayer is like a cornerstone that is strong and can withstand the onslaught, if there is one, of the day. There are so many things that prayer is to me - but that's for another post.

I have always believed that all prayer is answered. We may not see it or understand and sometimes we may not like the answer - but the answer is always given. Which means that one of the first building stones of prayer is that you trust the person you pray to. And this trust is founded in a belief that He (if you are a believing Christian) has your best interests in mind. Without this foundation, prayer is basically irrelevant.

Typically we like to provide our answer in the prayer. However, answered prayer cannot be conditional from you. It cannot be a ... 'the answer must be'. Nor can the answer be on your terms - it has to be answered by and come in the form of. This is when trust is tested - do you trust who is giving the answer and that the answer is the only answer.

There is one behavior you must exhibit when you pray - looking for His answer for you. I'm never surprised that my prayer is answered however I am often surprised at the answer. And I am quite often amazed at the form the answer is given.

Decision making.... Gideon Style

This is the worst way to make a decision - relying on a fleece (or however you characterize this ... if 'a' happens then I'll know to decide in this way but if it doesn't then the decision is the opposite).

Unfortunately we Charismatic/ Evangelical end of the Christian continuum types tend to find scriptures that support whatever we need supporting. We can tell you every promise in scripture that exists but rarely know what the conditions for that promise are or consequences of denying it are. Actually it is a cop out because we don't have to take responsibility in this approach.

For the uninitiated, to 'do' a fleece is to set out a 'test' of some sort that will let the person know they should do, or not do, something but then it is embellished with a 'spiritual' overtone. Is it any wonder that the term 'fleeced' was defined? We all know what happens in this situation - I would contend that this also happens if we try to make decisions based on 'setting out a fleece'. Scripture does warn us about looking for signs and omens when we make decisions.

Equally important in decision making is to actually make the decision rather than letting the decision be made for us based on what happens over time and the circumstances that occur. Life
is not to lived based on the vagaries of life. Life is to be engaged and embraced which is only present when we are actively involved.

Some people are quick and some are reasoned and others are slow to decide - the point in all this is to know your own style of decision making. Decision making is really not a case of speed as much as it is a case of method. Granted that there are times when we have to come to a decision quickly, but for the most part most of the time we can determine what we will do based on sufficient information and time. However, setting out a fleece is not the method.

The Message - believe

The messsage was sent in love. And the message is love. But the message also has a response required from us - believe. What are we to believe? Again, simple and profound. We are to believe:

-that God always had us in mind and was working toward a re-establishment of relationship,
-that Jesus, His Son, was involved in this and had accepted the assignment to come to the earth to redeem us back to the Father,
-that Jesus was born of a virgin so to know the reality of being human and was both God and man and no, we don't have to completely understand this but we do need to believe it,
-that Jesus suffered and died so that we could once again, through belief, be reconciled to God,
-that Jesus rose from the dead and now sits at the right hand of God to make intercession for us.

This is the beginning of our assignment - to believe. However, it is the foundation and structure of everything that comes after. Without our believing we are stuck in a no man's land... and worse. Without belief there is no ever lasting life. Recall John 3:16... 'that whosoever (that's you and me) believes ... shall have ever lasting life.' That's the gift we're given and the start of all the other gifts we'll receive as a result of believing.

We don't earn ever lasting life, we don't strive to 'do good deeds' so we can have that life... we believe. Ultimately it's our decision, our choice - no one can believe for us. Whether or not we fully understand or comprehend the magnitude of belief, it is our choice to believe.

The Message

The message that we, His ambassadors, are to deliver is incredibly simple and profound - love. That's it really. Because when you say 'love' you say a host of things and it translates into a behavior that is equally simple and profound. It's been we, His people, that have complicated everything and begun adding other 'requirements' - witness: all the denominations.

In the 70's there was a movement toward ecumenism - bringing together the various denominations. That was quickly denounced because if we joined with them then we wouldn't be keeping our traditions and requirements. A minister friend of mine said that if we actually we able to accomplish the goal of ecumenism then equally swiftly there would be schisms breaking off back into our sectarian enclaves.

All of us are familiar with John 3:16 - that is the source, the foundation, the philosophy, the context, the total of the message. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. That whosoever believed on Him would not perish but have everlasting life." That's it. Period.

Love was the motivation: by God to send His Son to and for us and Jesus to be the perfect sacrifice for us. I can't even begin to comprehend the magnitude of that love by either the Father or the Son. Our response: believe. That's it, that's all - believe.

All we need do is to believe that God loved so intensely that He was willing to do just about anything for us to re-establish the broken relationship. And that Jesus loved us so intensely, was willing to be that necessary sacrifice to allow the relationship to once again be available for all.... as long as we believed. But is was also critical to believe the entirety of what this believing is.

So simple. So profound.

There's so much more...

Almost by definition, 'first step' implies that there are more steps to be taken. Even if the only act you make is to take a second step to be parallel (balanced) to the initial step. The first step is the most important decision you'll ever make, but once made, everything opens up to you - it's like you were seeing in black and white, now you see in vibrant color.

The first step is to acknowledge Jesus as the ONLY way to restored relationship with the Father and to accept Him as Lord and Savior. But that's only the beginning. My analogy is that if you were attending a sumptuous feast, you'd not only savor the appetizer, would you? However, that's what many people do. They realize their need for a savior and accept Jesus as Lord and then stop.

(A simple explanation for those of you who don't understand/believe in the only way: The Father didn't destroy the relationship - we did. Therefore, it isn't up to us to determine the basis of returning - He does. And God makes it extremely clear that the way to reconciliation, made simple, is to believe on His Son and the act of restoration Jesus did to effect that reconciliation.)

Why would anyone NOT accept? Yet, many don't. But for those who do, there is a vast array of blessings waiting to be bestowed on those who believe on Jesus. Reread the parable of the Prodigal Son - it is the perfect example of who we were. But once we accept the salvation offered we shouldn't just stop.

In the parable a great feast was prepared and we are invited to partake. It's up to us to realize that, as wonderful as salvation is, the Father has prepared so much more for us.

The Message.... and the Messenger

I've always believed that the message was the most important of the two: message, messenger. It was critical to state the message clearly, concise and in the 'voice' of the sender. The messenger needed to not get in the way of the message.

If I wanted someone to understand what was being said, regardless of whether or not they agreed, it was imperative that I use words that the other person knew and use their definitions. The other person had the prerogative of acceptance or rejection, but it had to be according to their understanding of the message. I still believe the message is the most important element but I've come to appreciate just how critical the messenger is.

'How' the messenger presents the message is nearly as important as the message itself. The perception of the listener regarding the presentation does impact in their acceptance of the message. Thus, if the goal of the messenger is to present the message so that the listener understands and can come to a reasoned decision - then the messenger must take care in how they present it.

Personally I'm a fifty-cent-word type - not always consciously, but I've always loved words so I tend to both speak and hear in that context. As an example: if I hear a message that is condescending I tend to dismiss its value - a... 'if you don't value me then I'm not going to value what you said'. And this is true for a whole host of reactions to the 'how' of the message. NO ONE hears on only one level.

I remember, as a child, that the lesson that one shouldn't judge another until you've walked a mile in their shoes, has always stayed with me. It also translates into how I'd like to think I perform as a messenger. This approach includes being watchful of 'how' you see the other person understanding your message. If they don't seem to understand what you're saying then, if the message is important, you need to find another way of stating it.

Message and Messenger are so interrelated that it's difficult to separate the two. The Messenger has a responsibility to present the Message so that the listener can understand - if you, as the messenger, don't see this value then you'll never be effective.