So??? What kind of hope is in you? Notice I didn't ask the content - what you are hoping for - I'm talking about type. Does your hope look more like 'wishes' or more like faith?
Hope is one of those words that is bandied about, like love, but rarely defined. So, Cosmic Reader, how do you define the word? Does your hope look more like 'wishes' or more like faith? Is it 'pie in the sky' (you're hoping to win a million dollars) or what is your hope based on ? (I would contend that hope is always based on something, even if it is a pie, whether or not it is acknowledged.)
There are lyrics to a song that talk about hope being small but hard to break and, for me, that is a definite characteristic. Hope will always be the last to abandon ship - it stays till the end. Actually my definition of hope is quite tenacious and decidedly scriptural. Hope will be there when it's the most important. In the hard places it may be your only companion.
Probably the bottom line in this is - do you know how YOU define hope? It's your definition that counts. Reality will tell you that this also requires you to stand on your hope. If hope is wishy washy or weak, it will never sustain you.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
The Burden of ... Unforgiveness
Have you ever thought about how much excess baggage you carry around when you don't forgive? And that includes forgiving yourself! But we'll talk about self-forgiveness at another time. We're talking here about forgiving others.
Think about it... first you have to remember why it is you haven't forgiven, next you have to know how this affects how you interact, or don't, with the person. You also need to know how you interacted the last time so you are consistent. Knowing what initiated this unforgiveness is also important so that you aren't affected by the same thing in the future, plus it is most annoying to forget why you are angry. It might be good to do something/say something to the unforgiven so they know you are upset with them. And the list can go on.
It's this beginning act - forgiving - that's important. You need to release yourself from that burden and move on. And yes, I know it isn't easy. But it is a most freeing, liberating feeling when you do. Realize that I'm not suggesting you set yourself up to take another hit. Being aware is critical in the forgiving action.
My point is... that's a whole lot of energy wasted in a futile act - unforgiveness. Most of the time the person you are angry with has moved on and doesn't even recall or maybe even know you are angry. If you respond with: "... you will never forget". Two things: 1- you may and 2- I never said anything about forgetting. Forgetting is an entiredly different issue.
Think about it... first you have to remember why it is you haven't forgiven, next you have to know how this affects how you interact, or don't, with the person. You also need to know how you interacted the last time so you are consistent. Knowing what initiated this unforgiveness is also important so that you aren't affected by the same thing in the future, plus it is most annoying to forget why you are angry. It might be good to do something/say something to the unforgiven so they know you are upset with them. And the list can go on.
It's this beginning act - forgiving - that's important. You need to release yourself from that burden and move on. And yes, I know it isn't easy. But it is a most freeing, liberating feeling when you do. Realize that I'm not suggesting you set yourself up to take another hit. Being aware is critical in the forgiving action.
My point is... that's a whole lot of energy wasted in a futile act - unforgiveness. Most of the time the person you are angry with has moved on and doesn't even recall or maybe even know you are angry. If you respond with: "... you will never forget". Two things: 1- you may and 2- I never said anything about forgetting. Forgetting is an entiredly different issue.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
We are our choices
...or at least we become our choices. The decisions we make continue to define who we are - either to reinforce or refine, rarely to contradict.
Decisions should never be willy nilly but there also does come a point in which you have garnered enough facts, thought through the ramification, selected your best (never settled for good or better) and all that's left is to act on your choice. Whatever you choose... this will define who you are.
However, choices are right/wrong, good/bad - and yes, I know that sounds like a 'value'. It is. To believe that your choices are not value based and value producing is to believe we act in a vacuum - and this is incorrect. EVERY action on your decision will produce fruit. And no action is an action.
Think about this for awhile... I'll return to this subject later.
Decisions should never be willy nilly but there also does come a point in which you have garnered enough facts, thought through the ramification, selected your best (never settled for good or better) and all that's left is to act on your choice. Whatever you choose... this will define who you are.
However, choices are right/wrong, good/bad - and yes, I know that sounds like a 'value'. It is. To believe that your choices are not value based and value producing is to believe we act in a vacuum - and this is incorrect. EVERY action on your decision will produce fruit. And no action is an action.
Think about this for awhile... I'll return to this subject later.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Passion
Do you know what you're passionate about Cosmic Reader? I know mine... well, at least the current ones. Some have stayed with me for years, some fade away, and some are added.
For example: when I was teaching in college I was passionate about what I was teaching and what I hoped the students would learn. But, I felt that my most important responsibility was to teach students how to ask questions. I always believed that the answer to whatever was the question was less important than the process of learning how and what questions to ask. Now, that part - asking questions is still a passion of mine. However, since I'm not teaching, this is less of a passion (though I still miss teaching).
Another example: I'm passionate about Celtic Woman. Their singing and the music selections are fantastic! How do I demonstrate this? I have all their DVD's, I typically watch at least one a day, I share this phenomenal group with others and I attend their concerts. All reinforce my passion for this group. Listen to their acappella "Danny Boy" sometime and I'm certain you'll be hooked as well.
I don't have a particularly long list of passions but those which have made it onto my list are very strong. Then again, maybe the important point is knowing what you are passionate about. But remember - you can't just say you're passionate about something - your behavior has to demonstrate it.
My point in all this is that we all get passionate about something(s) that seem to have its own life cycle. But the proof is in the behavior - if your behavior doesn't support what you say then I'd question the existence of passion.
But, for me, there's a even more profound passion. My belief/faith in, reliance on, devotion to - Jesus, my Lord.
For example: when I was teaching in college I was passionate about what I was teaching and what I hoped the students would learn. But, I felt that my most important responsibility was to teach students how to ask questions. I always believed that the answer to whatever was the question was less important than the process of learning how and what questions to ask. Now, that part - asking questions is still a passion of mine. However, since I'm not teaching, this is less of a passion (though I still miss teaching).
Another example: I'm passionate about Celtic Woman. Their singing and the music selections are fantastic! How do I demonstrate this? I have all their DVD's, I typically watch at least one a day, I share this phenomenal group with others and I attend their concerts. All reinforce my passion for this group. Listen to their acappella "Danny Boy" sometime and I'm certain you'll be hooked as well.
I don't have a particularly long list of passions but those which have made it onto my list are very strong. Then again, maybe the important point is knowing what you are passionate about. But remember - you can't just say you're passionate about something - your behavior has to demonstrate it.
My point in all this is that we all get passionate about something(s) that seem to have its own life cycle. But the proof is in the behavior - if your behavior doesn't support what you say then I'd question the existence of passion.
But, for me, there's a even more profound passion. My belief/faith in, reliance on, devotion to - Jesus, my Lord.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Mission
Do you know what your mission is Cosmic Reader? We all have one you know, whether or not we've discovered it yet. A mission goes beyond work, it goes beyond family though either/both can be involved as part of your mission.
Does the mission change? Good question. My personal opinion is that the only way it can change is if the mission is accomplished and it's time to move on to a new one. But change. No. A mission is a mission and until it is finished it can't be changed. Refined? Yes. Further clarity can occur but the core doesn't change. That's the point about missions - they are like a foundation, firm.
What if it never really was your mission? Well that's the answer then, yes? It never was your mission.
Missions are rarely 'small'. They can have small beginnings but a mission involves your thinking, your time, your effort and is not a small thing. Missions require passion and definitely hope because there will be times when the mission seems outside of your ability.
Then again.... that's the other aspect of missions. They can be accomplished. They are within your ability because you'll never have a mission that's beyond you. That's the definition and nature of missions.
Does the mission change? Good question. My personal opinion is that the only way it can change is if the mission is accomplished and it's time to move on to a new one. But change. No. A mission is a mission and until it is finished it can't be changed. Refined? Yes. Further clarity can occur but the core doesn't change. That's the point about missions - they are like a foundation, firm.
What if it never really was your mission? Well that's the answer then, yes? It never was your mission.
Missions are rarely 'small'. They can have small beginnings but a mission involves your thinking, your time, your effort and is not a small thing. Missions require passion and definitely hope because there will be times when the mission seems outside of your ability.
Then again.... that's the other aspect of missions. They can be accomplished. They are within your ability because you'll never have a mission that's beyond you. That's the definition and nature of missions.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Stop and smell the roses
If you were walking my Katie (Scottish Terrier) you wouldn't have any other option but to stop and smell the roses. Katie never discovered a blade of grass she didn't like. She was forever smelling the flowers and whatever else was her fancy. Granted an argument could be made that she was merely sniffing where other dogs had trod, but I would like to think that she was attempting to discover something new.
Whenever we went on walks, a great deal of the time was spent standing in one place and observing and enjoying the view before moving on. As time passed, I learned a great deal from that puppy. She knew how to enjoy the moment, she knew it was always wise to stop.... and smell whatever happened to be handy.
Katie simply would not be rushed. 'Rush' was not a word in her vocabulary and if you didn't want to operate according to her rules then fine. Go ahead and do what you wanted. But she would not be turned from what she was about.
We humans do rush about so. And stopping to see what's around us is really not deterring us from our destination, albeit delaying the timing a bit. In seeing what's around us we may come to a new perspective. Or confirm our original decision. Or refine. The point is by stopping, we catch our breaths before moving on. And we arrive confidently and composed.
Stopping to smell the roses can mean a host of different things but the mindset is what's important. Enjoy the view as you go on your way and maybe, just maybe, stop every once in a while to ... smell the roses.
Whenever we went on walks, a great deal of the time was spent standing in one place and observing and enjoying the view before moving on. As time passed, I learned a great deal from that puppy. She knew how to enjoy the moment, she knew it was always wise to stop.... and smell whatever happened to be handy.
Katie simply would not be rushed. 'Rush' was not a word in her vocabulary and if you didn't want to operate according to her rules then fine. Go ahead and do what you wanted. But she would not be turned from what she was about.
We humans do rush about so. And stopping to see what's around us is really not deterring us from our destination, albeit delaying the timing a bit. In seeing what's around us we may come to a new perspective. Or confirm our original decision. Or refine. The point is by stopping, we catch our breaths before moving on. And we arrive confidently and composed.
Stopping to smell the roses can mean a host of different things but the mindset is what's important. Enjoy the view as you go on your way and maybe, just maybe, stop every once in a while to ... smell the roses.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Ignorance is NOT bliss...
Whoever is responsible for that quote needs to rethink. Blithely going through life willy nilly is so ... irrational.
Ignorance is not a blissful state, it can be quite frustrating and always incomplete. To me, choosing ignorance is a cop out ... and yes, there are those who would choose not knowing since it gives them license. And their response of, "I just want to do what I want to do and knowing might stop me" may sometimes result in a kind of serendipity discovery, but more often than not will result in pain and/or injury and typically has a ripple effect on others.
Whatever the choice you make, having as many of the facts to make a reasoned decision would seem to always be the preferred method. I grant you that it is probably impossible to have all the bases covered - to know all of the potential ramifications from a particular choice. But to wantonly choose not to know is, for me, unfathomable. Why set yourself up for failure?
Granted... one doesn't always make the best choice, even with all the known 'facts', but success has a greater chance of becoming the outcome if it isn't based in..... blissful ignorance.
Ignorance is not a blissful state, it can be quite frustrating and always incomplete. To me, choosing ignorance is a cop out ... and yes, there are those who would choose not knowing since it gives them license. And their response of, "I just want to do what I want to do and knowing might stop me" may sometimes result in a kind of serendipity discovery, but more often than not will result in pain and/or injury and typically has a ripple effect on others.
Whatever the choice you make, having as many of the facts to make a reasoned decision would seem to always be the preferred method. I grant you that it is probably impossible to have all the bases covered - to know all of the potential ramifications from a particular choice. But to wantonly choose not to know is, for me, unfathomable. Why set yourself up for failure?
Granted... one doesn't always make the best choice, even with all the known 'facts', but success has a greater chance of becoming the outcome if it isn't based in..... blissful ignorance.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Responsible
Big word, responsible. It carries with it a definition with very 'heavy' implications. One can't lightly use the word nor ignore it.
I've always believed that you are responsible for what you know. One really can't un-know something one knows. You can try and ignore it or conveniently put it in the back of your closet (mind) but you really can't un-know. Yes, you can expand, refine, modify, etc. but you can't un-know. It can definitely become inconvenient to know but .... there it is. And... until there is a modification - you are responsible.
In the midst of this I have to confess that I'm also one of those types that believes that it is more important to know than to not know. Not knowing may give me an excuse, but it is never one I prefer. Knowing always, as in ALWAYS, gives you options. Because, dear reader, you can always fly in the face of what you know. May not be wise. It may not be justifiable - but you can always choose to go contrary to what you know. You are still responsible but you can choose to go opposite/different.
Just remember... you can never.... un-know.
I've always believed that you are responsible for what you know. One really can't un-know something one knows. You can try and ignore it or conveniently put it in the back of your closet (mind) but you really can't un-know. Yes, you can expand, refine, modify, etc. but you can't un-know. It can definitely become inconvenient to know but .... there it is. And... until there is a modification - you are responsible.
In the midst of this I have to confess that I'm also one of those types that believes that it is more important to know than to not know. Not knowing may give me an excuse, but it is never one I prefer. Knowing always, as in ALWAYS, gives you options. Because, dear reader, you can always fly in the face of what you know. May not be wise. It may not be justifiable - but you can always choose to go contrary to what you know. You are still responsible but you can choose to go opposite/different.
Just remember... you can never.... un-know.
Monday, February 15, 2010
The Core of Belief
Putting down in black and white what it is you think, what you believe forces you to acknowledge precisely. Seeing what you believe is more powerful than just 'thinking' it, which is why I always recommend you write this down as a basis for review. Remember, what it is you are saying doesn't have to stay in concrete unless it is a core belief you choose to maintain. Also, once it's in black and white it's now possible to refine the belief because life forces you to reaffirm or change.
For me, that is the first step, but the second is equally critical. Once you see what it is you think, believe, then you can begin to determine your 'why'. I believe it is important to know why you believe/think as you do. Your 'why' gives depth, meaning and understanding to the what of your thoughts and beliefs. Do remember.... logic may not play a role at all.
In the process of facing what you believe and why, you need to define this behaviorally not just conceptually. Believe it or not, how you define the words, what they look like in action, will be your standard - consciously and subconsciously. Your behavior will tell others more powerfaully than your words who you are.
For me, that is the first step, but the second is equally critical. Once you see what it is you think, believe, then you can begin to determine your 'why'. I believe it is important to know why you believe/think as you do. Your 'why' gives depth, meaning and understanding to the what of your thoughts and beliefs. Do remember.... logic may not play a role at all.
In the process of facing what you believe and why, you need to define this behaviorally not just conceptually. Believe it or not, how you define the words, what they look like in action, will be your standard - consciously and subconsciously. Your behavior will tell others more powerfaully than your words who you are.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
The Road Not Taken... maybe... maybe not
I've always liked this Frost poem and can easily picture a path coming to a fork with, at least, two choices of directions. Where I might differ from others is that my view is that you can ALWAYS change your direction if you find you've not made your best choice. My suggestion is to never compound a mistake - change the decision.
I do realize that popular opinion would suggest that once on a path you have to see it through and not vary. Who sezs? Why? Obviously if it involves others (and there are very few decisions we make about our own lives that doesn't also effect others) then you have to take some interim actions. But... why continue on a path that is disastrous? And will a negative impact on you also negatively impact on others tangentially involved?
Don't misunderstand, I'm not talking about the hardships one faces as one traverses life - these happen and you don't get a free ride. Sometimes it's these bumps in the road that make the ultimate destination so satisfying. What I'm talking about is a misdirection, a wrong decision for you.
I suspect the real question is - are you copping out? Are you trying to take the easy way? Or, was the initial decision not the best decision for you though you thought so at the time? That answer and your subsequent action, is the difference in how your character is being developed.
I do realize that popular opinion would suggest that once on a path you have to see it through and not vary. Who sezs? Why? Obviously if it involves others (and there are very few decisions we make about our own lives that doesn't also effect others) then you have to take some interim actions. But... why continue on a path that is disastrous? And will a negative impact on you also negatively impact on others tangentially involved?
Don't misunderstand, I'm not talking about the hardships one faces as one traverses life - these happen and you don't get a free ride. Sometimes it's these bumps in the road that make the ultimate destination so satisfying. What I'm talking about is a misdirection, a wrong decision for you.
I suspect the real question is - are you copping out? Are you trying to take the easy way? Or, was the initial decision not the best decision for you though you thought so at the time? That answer and your subsequent action, is the difference in how your character is being developed.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Motivation
Have you ever thought about what motivates you to do... or to not do, something? What are your core value(s), the 'why' of what you do and speak that is challenged, threatened, or affirmed - the how and what of your response?
Simplistically, motivators can be good, bad, healthy, self destructive, self serving or selfless and probably a great number of other things as well. And do remember that this list, nonexhaustive, is also not necessarily incompatible. Two seemingly contrary motivators may coexist dependent upon the 'issue'.
There would be those that would argue that all behavior is basically self preservation. Personally I find that too simplistic an answer because there are countless examples of people who do amazing things and demonstrate great courage - often at their own peril. It could be argued that an altruistic value motivates in these cases.
If you are an adherent of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs then you obviously would take the position that what may motivate you today may not motivate you tomorrow. True. But I would ask if there is some overriding value that is greater than need, greater than self?
The question becomes: do we know why it is we do or say what we do, when we do it?
Simplistically, motivators can be good, bad, healthy, self destructive, self serving or selfless and probably a great number of other things as well. And do remember that this list, nonexhaustive, is also not necessarily incompatible. Two seemingly contrary motivators may coexist dependent upon the 'issue'.
There would be those that would argue that all behavior is basically self preservation. Personally I find that too simplistic an answer because there are countless examples of people who do amazing things and demonstrate great courage - often at their own peril. It could be argued that an altruistic value motivates in these cases.
If you are an adherent of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs then you obviously would take the position that what may motivate you today may not motivate you tomorrow. True. But I would ask if there is some overriding value that is greater than need, greater than self?
The question becomes: do we know why it is we do or say what we do, when we do it?
Thursday, February 11, 2010
My next great adventure....
Well Cosmic Reader, I'm about to enter into my next great adventure... RETIREMENT. It didn't take the first time so we'll see what happens. I had attempted retiring some years ago but hadn't prepared for what that meant. This time I hope I'm a bit more ... prepared? organized?
Retirement means all sorts of things for people. I'm in the process of defining it for me. Some of the definition is in terms of what it isn't - it isn't 'doing nothing'. I'm the proactive type so it also has to mean something more than simply a 'not'.
Another thing I've decided is that money shouldn't be the sole reason to do or not do something. If the activity is a heart's desire then see what you can do to accomplish it. Granted, money is a part of the equation, but never let it be the only part.
For me, part of the definition is found in an old gospel song (paraphrased) - "... if I can help somebody as I go along then my living will not be in vain..." I'd really be irritated with myself if in the 'closing years' of my life that "I" was the only consideration.
Retirement means all sorts of things for people. I'm in the process of defining it for me. Some of the definition is in terms of what it isn't - it isn't 'doing nothing'. I'm the proactive type so it also has to mean something more than simply a 'not'.
Another thing I've decided is that money shouldn't be the sole reason to do or not do something. If the activity is a heart's desire then see what you can do to accomplish it. Granted, money is a part of the equation, but never let it be the only part.
For me, part of the definition is found in an old gospel song (paraphrased) - "... if I can help somebody as I go along then my living will not be in vain..." I'd really be irritated with myself if in the 'closing years' of my life that "I" was the only consideration.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Movies, movies, movies...
I really do love the theatre whether that's movies or live theatre. I'm sure there are those that would never put the two words in the same sentence, I do because I really enjoy the... ok, escapism. For a few hours I can sit back and merely appreciate what I'm watching. Duly note the word, appreciate, because that's the core of the escapism. Besides, why sit through something that is boring, in poor taste, or simply a waste of time?
My taste in movies really is quite classical. I thoroughly enjoy the movies of the 40's - such great fun and one's sensibilities aren't threatened. Actually, I grew up with movies and books rather than television. Really don't see any loss. A great family treat was when all of us would head off together - I believe we saw "The African Queen" 3 times in 3 different theatres. As I got older, movies meant meeting my friends to watch cowboys and Indians on Friday nite and musicals on Sunday afternoon.
Movies, today, can be described by one adjective - gratuitous. There's a whole lot of gratuitous going on... you can add your own noun. Which is, in my humble opinion, too bad. The King's English has also taken a beating. Again sad, because I think English is a beautiful language. Not in the 'romance' beauty but in the ability to explain, teach the breadth of description.
I remember my Mom saying that swearing merely reduced you to the lowest possible educational level. Why would you want to use an expletive? Obviously there are notable exceptions to that last question but pandering seems to be the order of the day. However, when you do discover a little jewel - ohhhh the joy.
My taste in movies really is quite classical. I thoroughly enjoy the movies of the 40's - such great fun and one's sensibilities aren't threatened. Actually, I grew up with movies and books rather than television. Really don't see any loss. A great family treat was when all of us would head off together - I believe we saw "The African Queen" 3 times in 3 different theatres. As I got older, movies meant meeting my friends to watch cowboys and Indians on Friday nite and musicals on Sunday afternoon.
Movies, today, can be described by one adjective - gratuitous. There's a whole lot of gratuitous going on... you can add your own noun. Which is, in my humble opinion, too bad. The King's English has also taken a beating. Again sad, because I think English is a beautiful language. Not in the 'romance' beauty but in the ability to explain, teach the breadth of description.
I remember my Mom saying that swearing merely reduced you to the lowest possible educational level. Why would you want to use an expletive? Obviously there are notable exceptions to that last question but pandering seems to be the order of the day. However, when you do discover a little jewel - ohhhh the joy.
Monday, February 8, 2010
... just a little white lie....
First - the size, little, has nothing to do with anything. Second - 'white' is definitely a misnomer, lies are colorless and calling it white doesn't lessen the fact. Third - a lie, is a lie - period. Calling it 'just' doesn't lessen the reality that it is a lie.
There are a number of problems with lies. You have to remember what you said.... and to whom. Lies, like a rock thrown into water, ripple and spread, affecting everyone, in some fashion, who are touched by the lie. But, you rarely see the impact of your lie, perhaps those nearest the lie but certainly not the outer fringes.
Dismissing what you said as it was .... just a little white lie .... doesn't dimish the impact. Part of the problem with the lie is that you can't control it, nor other's feelings and behavior based on it. Truth is that this phrase is only used after you've been caught lying - attempting to mitigate or excuse your own behavior. And to say that "... everyone does it." is not a reason.
Does this mean that I don't lie? If only. However I do attempt to speak only the truth, as I see and understand it. When I don't then I will try and apologize as soon as possible - carrying the guilt is quite agonizing.
There are a number of problems with lies. You have to remember what you said.... and to whom. Lies, like a rock thrown into water, ripple and spread, affecting everyone, in some fashion, who are touched by the lie. But, you rarely see the impact of your lie, perhaps those nearest the lie but certainly not the outer fringes.
Dismissing what you said as it was .... just a little white lie .... doesn't dimish the impact. Part of the problem with the lie is that you can't control it, nor other's feelings and behavior based on it. Truth is that this phrase is only used after you've been caught lying - attempting to mitigate or excuse your own behavior. And to say that "... everyone does it." is not a reason.
Does this mean that I don't lie? If only. However I do attempt to speak only the truth, as I see and understand it. When I don't then I will try and apologize as soon as possible - carrying the guilt is quite agonizing.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
C-H-A-N-G-E!!!!!
(this could end up being a theme revisited many times) So what, Cosmic Reader, is your attitude toward change? For it? Against? Jury's still out?
Personally, I'm in favor of change. I've always enjoyed it. Seen it as a new challenge. No, not change for change sake - at least I don't think so. However...... I have noticed a subtle change in my attitude toward change as I've grown older and had many experiences with life. Today I would say that I'm still in favor of change.... but with a slight caveat - that I have some degree of control on/over the change.
The degree of control would be my involvement with the change, not necessarily the change itself. But how does one witness, effect, be involved with change and not have it impact oneself? Ah ha! That's the issue. You can't.
We all tend to 'bounce back' from a 'negative' change easier in youth (one is indestructible then) then when one grows older. And I won't get into a definition battle about the word 'negative'. My point is that we are more positively (had to do that) inclined toward change at a younger age.
The reality is that change exists. It happens moment by moment. You can't stop the tide of change. However, you can prepare. And knowing your own attitude toward change is the start of a proactive methodology to cope with, deal with, use change.
Personally, I'm in favor of change. I've always enjoyed it. Seen it as a new challenge. No, not change for change sake - at least I don't think so. However...... I have noticed a subtle change in my attitude toward change as I've grown older and had many experiences with life. Today I would say that I'm still in favor of change.... but with a slight caveat - that I have some degree of control on/over the change.
The degree of control would be my involvement with the change, not necessarily the change itself. But how does one witness, effect, be involved with change and not have it impact oneself? Ah ha! That's the issue. You can't.
We all tend to 'bounce back' from a 'negative' change easier in youth (one is indestructible then) then when one grows older. And I won't get into a definition battle about the word 'negative'. My point is that we are more positively (had to do that) inclined toward change at a younger age.
The reality is that change exists. It happens moment by moment. You can't stop the tide of change. However, you can prepare. And knowing your own attitude toward change is the start of a proactive methodology to cope with, deal with, use change.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Questions..... Answers.....
So which, dear Reader, is the most important? "Surely the second flows from the first but is the most important.", do I hear you say? Nay, I reply.... a thousand times nay.
I would contend that the art, and it is an art, of asking questions is the most critical skill, ability, learning one can attain. Without the ability to ask questions one never attains to a possible answer or a variety of options.
I happen to one of those 'types' that never runs out of questions. My Mom said that the first words out of my mouth were in the form of a question. I can just believe that. However, it does tend to drive others to distraction. Doesn't stop me, but I am aware of the effect of my questions.
Unfortunately, there are some people who perceive a question as an attack on what they said (or believe). Not. Many times questions are asked to seek clarity/understanding. Personally, I love questions. I find that they are the stepping stones to discovery.
I would contend that the art, and it is an art, of asking questions is the most critical skill, ability, learning one can attain. Without the ability to ask questions one never attains to a possible answer or a variety of options.
I happen to one of those 'types' that never runs out of questions. My Mom said that the first words out of my mouth were in the form of a question. I can just believe that. However, it does tend to drive others to distraction. Doesn't stop me, but I am aware of the effect of my questions.
Unfortunately, there are some people who perceive a question as an attack on what they said (or believe). Not. Many times questions are asked to seek clarity/understanding. Personally, I love questions. I find that they are the stepping stones to discovery.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Worry... fret....
So tell me, Cosmic Reader, are you a worrier? I know the case could be made that everyone worries about something, at some time. True. But are you a chronic worrier?
My definition of 'worry' is a person, event, activity (not necessarily an event), "potentiality", etc. over which you have absolutely no control. That's the key - NO control. If you could affect the above then you could act and not worry. So the question that begs to be asked is: if we can do nothing about 'it' why worry? The answer is: because we do.
Typically what we worry over affects something else of greater value. I'm one of those 'nothing happens in a vacuum' types. Ergo, what may happen takes on greater significance, especially if what could transpire impacts negatively on someone else..... or ourselves.
I don't have a proposal to change people's minds about worry. Worry is not subject to rational thought - logic has absolutely nothing to do with it. I do have a suggestion though - if you find yourself worrying over something then take the time to assess the issue - is there something you can do? If the worse case scenario happens, what can you do then - are there options to consider? And most important - get to the heart of the worry. At least then you'll know why you are worrying.
My definition of 'worry' is a person, event, activity (not necessarily an event), "potentiality", etc. over which you have absolutely no control. That's the key - NO control. If you could affect the above then you could act and not worry. So the question that begs to be asked is: if we can do nothing about 'it' why worry? The answer is: because we do.
Typically what we worry over affects something else of greater value. I'm one of those 'nothing happens in a vacuum' types. Ergo, what may happen takes on greater significance, especially if what could transpire impacts negatively on someone else..... or ourselves.
I don't have a proposal to change people's minds about worry. Worry is not subject to rational thought - logic has absolutely nothing to do with it. I do have a suggestion though - if you find yourself worrying over something then take the time to assess the issue - is there something you can do? If the worse case scenario happens, what can you do then - are there options to consider? And most important - get to the heart of the worry. At least then you'll know why you are worrying.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
DISAPPOINTMENT.... sob
Sooo, Cosmic Reader, how do you handle disappointment? Stoically? With anger? Lash out at others whether or not they are involved? 'Bravely'? Throw in the towel? Use as an impetus to try again?
Obviously that is far from an exhaustive list of responses to 'disappointment'. Remember though, never equate failure with disappointment, unless you let it incapacitate you. Actually the question is more of - how do you view disappointment? What do you 'do' with it?
We all have pity parties. I know I do. I think it is probably inevitable that with a disappointment we all 'feel' badly. But the key is to not stay in the wallowing. Once emerging from the feeling, do we assess the reason(s)? Did we do something we 'shouldn't' have? Or, not done something we should have? Was it out of our hands to begin with? And the big question - what can/should we do now?
Actually, options abound as long as we consider the alternative(s) - they probably were always there.
Obviously that is far from an exhaustive list of responses to 'disappointment'. Remember though, never equate failure with disappointment, unless you let it incapacitate you. Actually the question is more of - how do you view disappointment? What do you 'do' with it?
We all have pity parties. I know I do. I think it is probably inevitable that with a disappointment we all 'feel' badly. But the key is to not stay in the wallowing. Once emerging from the feeling, do we assess the reason(s)? Did we do something we 'shouldn't' have? Or, not done something we should have? Was it out of our hands to begin with? And the big question - what can/should we do now?
Actually, options abound as long as we consider the alternative(s) - they probably were always there.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Words.... words... words... words...
F 2
I'm a word person. Not particularly earth shattering information I know. But what I want you to understand is that I'm a very serious word person. It's probably why I'm always asking the person I'm talking with to define their words.
We all use words assuming the other person will know and understand what we're saying (even if we don't). The reality is that how one person uses a word may not be at all how another one will. How many times have you witnessed a conversation and realized that the two people involved were saying the same thing but using different words?! The opposite is also true - they may seem to be saying the same thing but it's obvious that they are meaning two entirely different things.
Words are incredibly important, especially if you want to communicate with someone. They are meant to convey a thought, a feeling, a passion to another. They are NOT to be taken lightly and I suspect that they are all too easily tossed around. Words can uplift. They can cause immense pain. Words can provide the means to new discoveries. They can hold a person in bondage because of an assumed definition.
When it comes to words.... never assume, find out what is being communicated. In a very real way you are holding the other person as well as yourself to an accountability of what is being said - no excuse (I thought you meant...) or misunderstanding of the message.
I'm a word person. Not particularly earth shattering information I know. But what I want you to understand is that I'm a very serious word person. It's probably why I'm always asking the person I'm talking with to define their words.
We all use words assuming the other person will know and understand what we're saying (even if we don't). The reality is that how one person uses a word may not be at all how another one will. How many times have you witnessed a conversation and realized that the two people involved were saying the same thing but using different words?! The opposite is also true - they may seem to be saying the same thing but it's obvious that they are meaning two entirely different things.
Words are incredibly important, especially if you want to communicate with someone. They are meant to convey a thought, a feeling, a passion to another. They are NOT to be taken lightly and I suspect that they are all too easily tossed around. Words can uplift. They can cause immense pain. Words can provide the means to new discoveries. They can hold a person in bondage because of an assumed definition.
When it comes to words.... never assume, find out what is being communicated. In a very real way you are holding the other person as well as yourself to an accountability of what is being said - no excuse (I thought you meant...) or misunderstanding of the message.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Four Seasons
F-1
I have the distinct pleasure of living where there are 4 seasons - all of 'em. Well.... so Spring and Fall are typically only about 7-10 days long.... they still are. I must admit, though, that Winter and Summer consume the majority of the year.
Unfortunately the 2 seasons that are my favorites are the 2 that are the shortest. I love Fall. To me it always meant the beginning of the school year and I was one of those that dearly loved school. Probably because education was a value in my home, I have always had a huge craving for learning. Still do. I'm the type that attempts to find a learning in nearly every situation.
The other reason I love Fall are the colors. The trees take on such breathtaking beauty with their reds and oranges and yellows all against a panoply of every shade of green imaginable. And all of that against a cobalt blue sky. At this time of year there's always a hint of cool to the breezes but the sun can still be warm upon your face. And the smells of burning leaves always heighten the senses. It's really quite grand.
Spring has it's own 'grand'. Again with the green - all shades of new green imaginable as the trees start with buds on their branches and blend their various green colorings into leaves as they grow. You know it's Spring when the crocuses starting poking their heads out from the last of the snow, and the bright yellows of the daffodils and many hued tulips begin to bloom. And ohhhh the aroma of the lilacs as they add their luster to this scene - it's really quite heavenly.
There's also something positive to say about Summer and Winter. Just let me think on that for a while first.
I have the distinct pleasure of living where there are 4 seasons - all of 'em. Well.... so Spring and Fall are typically only about 7-10 days long.... they still are. I must admit, though, that Winter and Summer consume the majority of the year.
Unfortunately the 2 seasons that are my favorites are the 2 that are the shortest. I love Fall. To me it always meant the beginning of the school year and I was one of those that dearly loved school. Probably because education was a value in my home, I have always had a huge craving for learning. Still do. I'm the type that attempts to find a learning in nearly every situation.
The other reason I love Fall are the colors. The trees take on such breathtaking beauty with their reds and oranges and yellows all against a panoply of every shade of green imaginable. And all of that against a cobalt blue sky. At this time of year there's always a hint of cool to the breezes but the sun can still be warm upon your face. And the smells of burning leaves always heighten the senses. It's really quite grand.
Spring has it's own 'grand'. Again with the green - all shades of new green imaginable as the trees start with buds on their branches and blend their various green colorings into leaves as they grow. You know it's Spring when the crocuses starting poking their heads out from the last of the snow, and the bright yellows of the daffodils and many hued tulips begin to bloom. And ohhhh the aroma of the lilacs as they add their luster to this scene - it's really quite heavenly.
There's also something positive to say about Summer and Winter. Just let me think on that for a while first.
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