rather, a slight change. It's time to make a shift more than a change. The shift: developing my new blog called: ...but, what do you think, what do you believe? Long title, I know. If interested you can find it at: http://yourthoughtsandbeliefs.blogspot.com/. Reality is that I will be spending more time in the next couple of months setting up ...but what do you think? and making my posts there. However Me and Thee is the parent blog and I'll still be making occasional posts here - eventually sharing the posting time between the two.
To be perfectly honest, the difference between the 2 blogs is negligible but it is time for a fresh approach to blogging - at least for me. What the new blog accomplishes is to provide me with some 'breathing' time to refreshen and reinvigorate Me and Thee. And perhaps even reinvent/recreate. (I'm in a 're' time.) Actually, the difference between the two blogs is in their individual inceptions. Me and Thee really began with little purpose other than as a creative writing outlet. Which is fine but it took some time to discover it's voice. ...but, what do you think? was ... intentional.
The teacher in me is first and foremost a poser of questions. My goal when I was teaching in college was not to hear the students parrot back what I know and believe but to do some critical thinking to determine what they believed... and why. Why is always incredibly important and 'because' is not a solid foundation. The secondary goal was not to memorize facts and figures but to know where to find the information.
Those two components were my foundation to teaching which has spilled over in my method of writing. I have discovered that there are certain themes that I tend to write about... obviously they are important to me. These themes such as character, forgiveness, discovery, becoming, etc. I'm also a strong advocate of knowing - why. This 'foundation' will be evident in the new blog.
I've enjoyed these past 26+ months of posting. And I am pleased that there have been as many 'hits' as there have been. Hopefully this will continue. So... this is far from the end...
Actually, you know... in the spirit of stream of consciousness... I think I'll 'recondition' Me and Thee and turn it into an ongoing devotional available to whoever happens on to this site. Probably go back and cull the posts... hmmm...
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Conversation...
Do you remember the last time you were involved with a conversation that was truly 'involving'? That both you and the other person(s) were sharing and discussing a subject that brought further clarity or a new approach in thinking? How exhilarating, how energizing! How infrequent. Perhaps I'm just in my 'anti small talk' mood but I find that many of the conversations of late were neither exhilarating nor brought clarity - mundane more clearly describes.
I've never been good at small talk - it tends to bore me. I'm not a fun person to be around when I'm impatient. And yet... that's not really fair because I'm 'judging' based on my frame of reference, my biases. What may seem boring to me may be of the utmost interest to someone else. I have no doubt that the opposite is also true. Typically you can discern quickly if the other person is involved in the discussion or not. Eye contact, for me, is one of the first and best indicators. Ultimately, I think the issue is - engaged.
And... engaged really is a choice. So what do you do when you find yourself in a conversation that is totally uninteresting to you? You have a variety of choices all the way from extremely rude to dismissive to actually attempting to find 'value' in the discussion. Focus here is of great benefit if you are interested in maintaining a somewhat civil relationship. Nothing hurts quite so much as being ignored or patronized by someone you value. And 'being honest' is not an escape.
I truly enjoy dialogue, the exchange of thoughts and ideas and hypotheses... all that is quite stimulating (my definitions). Over the years I've learned ways to gently extricate myself from those situations that I find less than involving. Or at least I think I have. My point is - if I'm going to be involved in a discussion then for the conversation to continue, for me, it has to be... engaging (my definition).
I've never been good at small talk - it tends to bore me. I'm not a fun person to be around when I'm impatient. And yet... that's not really fair because I'm 'judging' based on my frame of reference, my biases. What may seem boring to me may be of the utmost interest to someone else. I have no doubt that the opposite is also true. Typically you can discern quickly if the other person is involved in the discussion or not. Eye contact, for me, is one of the first and best indicators. Ultimately, I think the issue is - engaged.
And... engaged really is a choice. So what do you do when you find yourself in a conversation that is totally uninteresting to you? You have a variety of choices all the way from extremely rude to dismissive to actually attempting to find 'value' in the discussion. Focus here is of great benefit if you are interested in maintaining a somewhat civil relationship. Nothing hurts quite so much as being ignored or patronized by someone you value. And 'being honest' is not an escape.
I truly enjoy dialogue, the exchange of thoughts and ideas and hypotheses... all that is quite stimulating (my definitions). Over the years I've learned ways to gently extricate myself from those situations that I find less than involving. Or at least I think I have. My point is - if I'm going to be involved in a discussion then for the conversation to continue, for me, it has to be... engaging (my definition).
Saturday, March 3, 2012
The really, really stupid stage
Typically you don't recognize your really, really stupid stage until after you've come through it... often many years later. (It isn't particularly a happy reminiscence.) However, I believe we all go through a really stupid stage or maybe it's that I don't want to believe I'm the only one. The stupid stage is identified by incredible self indulgence and a self-blindness that is unfathomable. After emerging and taking one's blinders off, the feeling that exists is a deep sigh of gratefulness - there but for the Grace of God I'd still be.
This stage can be called by other names, typically 'midlife crisis'. Whether it's called that or the really, really stupid stage or whatever designation, the length can be short or extremely long - years actually. And it can strike at any age over 25. You may find yourself extremely surprised at your behavior once you've emerged from it. Looking back from my current vantage point of no longer occupying the really, really stupid stage I sometimes wonder if I had any relationship to logic during that time.
I'm still not completely certain one has to enter/endure this stage, but I suspect we all are subject to some degree. It is far easier to see it in others than in oneself. And perhaps you may think that I'm overreacting or overstating the situation. I'm really not. Part of self determination in this case is your own personal definition of stupid and stage. And... which side of the stage you are on. But regardless, I would encourage a gentleness but honest assessment.
Dissatisfaction is typically the avenue to this stage so if you see yourself dissatisfied - do something about it. You ALWAYS have options. The higher the frustration and the longer the dissatisfaction the probability of entrance into and residence in this stage increases. Perhaps you think I'm only trying to be amusing - I'm not. For some reason we all seem to hit this point in our lives, the quicker you respond to your feelings the quicker you emerge out.
This stage can be called by other names, typically 'midlife crisis'. Whether it's called that or the really, really stupid stage or whatever designation, the length can be short or extremely long - years actually. And it can strike at any age over 25. You may find yourself extremely surprised at your behavior once you've emerged from it. Looking back from my current vantage point of no longer occupying the really, really stupid stage I sometimes wonder if I had any relationship to logic during that time.
I'm still not completely certain one has to enter/endure this stage, but I suspect we all are subject to some degree. It is far easier to see it in others than in oneself. And perhaps you may think that I'm overreacting or overstating the situation. I'm really not. Part of self determination in this case is your own personal definition of stupid and stage. And... which side of the stage you are on. But regardless, I would encourage a gentleness but honest assessment.
Dissatisfaction is typically the avenue to this stage so if you see yourself dissatisfied - do something about it. You ALWAYS have options. The higher the frustration and the longer the dissatisfaction the probability of entrance into and residence in this stage increases. Perhaps you think I'm only trying to be amusing - I'm not. For some reason we all seem to hit this point in our lives, the quicker you respond to your feelings the quicker you emerge out.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Willing to...
I recently read a post on facebook (Exceptional Living by Dennisse Lisseth quoting Brave Girls Club) on the question about 'willing-ness'. As I thought more about the meaning of the word, the more I thought this is a good question to ask. It's all very well to talk about being transparent or 'letting the chips fall where they may' but exactly how willing are you to move out of your comfort zone? How willing are you to...
Webster defines willing as: "... inclined, ready, disposed" but the second description, to me, is the important part - "prompt to act or respond". You can be ready to be/do but, in the end, do you? Are you prompt to respond? And yes, it does depend on what the subject is, but what is your typical mo, your predisposition? Are you the hesitant or the 'boldly go where no man has gone before' type? What 'willing to' is testing you? Because 'willing to' is a choice - you don't have to.
Perhaps 'willing' is asking you to let change occur, to try something new? Or is willing asking you to be brave, to trust, to forgive? Perhaps you are being asked to 'stretch' yourself - or maybe to begin to view yourself as you are. There are so many ways we are asked, daily, to be willing to view events, ourselves, others in new ways. And it always is a choice, actually a decision to act on willing.
You really can't be coerced into 'willing' because it is a free, eyes open decision. Granted, sometimes willing may not be the preferred response - you'd rather do something 'else', but in the final analysis, you do the deciding. Remember though, willing may start intellectually but it is always an action. The action is the proof of your 'willing to'. And... the unknown may be what you face - are you willing to?
Webster defines willing as: "... inclined, ready, disposed" but the second description, to me, is the important part - "prompt to act or respond". You can be ready to be/do but, in the end, do you? Are you prompt to respond? And yes, it does depend on what the subject is, but what is your typical mo, your predisposition? Are you the hesitant or the 'boldly go where no man has gone before' type? What 'willing to' is testing you? Because 'willing to' is a choice - you don't have to.
Perhaps 'willing' is asking you to let change occur, to try something new? Or is willing asking you to be brave, to trust, to forgive? Perhaps you are being asked to 'stretch' yourself - or maybe to begin to view yourself as you are. There are so many ways we are asked, daily, to be willing to view events, ourselves, others in new ways. And it always is a choice, actually a decision to act on willing.
You really can't be coerced into 'willing' because it is a free, eyes open decision. Granted, sometimes willing may not be the preferred response - you'd rather do something 'else', but in the final analysis, you do the deciding. Remember though, willing may start intellectually but it is always an action. The action is the proof of your 'willing to'. And... the unknown may be what you face - are you willing to?
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
TOO busy!
Do those two words define you? Not just describe but really define your life? Does the phrase - stop and smell the roses - totally irritate you? Are you part of the great - I'm too busy - horde? OK... stop for just a moment and look at your life. WHAT are you busy doing? Does what you do provide challenge, adventure, pleasure, learning, creativity, etc. to your day? IF it does then you are blessed. IF it doesn't then you need to take stock at where you are now and where you'd prefer to be. And... how to get to where you want to be.
If you are too busy to analyze then I venture to say you don't want to look at your options. And before you cry 'foul', seriously consider your reasons about analyzing and options. We always, always, always have options. But... is that the problem - you don't see your options? And, analyzing simply intensifies your helpless feeling? Yes, you have responsibilities. Yes, you have obligations. but Yes, you have options. However, to take the risk to analyze and then to risk to develop options and then to risk to act on your decision... is a big risk. But is there any other option to analyze? The decision is whether we're willing to pay the price of change or the price of staying with the status quo.
Change is a risk, is a potential problem. But not making a change is a risk, a potential problem. Both will cost you something but can you go on indefinitely only 'going through the motions'? Meaninglessness is really a high price to pay. And all the unhappiness you are experiencing becomes intensified when life holds little or no joy. Most of us can endure anything for a short time, but if it is the standard and you see no way out then sometimes being too busy is an armor, a weird protection.
If you delight in being too busy... why? What is happening for you that makes this a preferred lifestyle? Do you hear yourself saying things like: when I have time I'll... or, I'd love to do (fill in the blank) but I really don't have any free time... or, sounds like fun - I'll do it when there is more time. Reality says that the hoped for upcoming 'free time' never comes. Make the decision to look at what's asking to be considered and what's stopping you - is TOO busy dictating, what owns your life?
If you are too busy to analyze then I venture to say you don't want to look at your options. And before you cry 'foul', seriously consider your reasons about analyzing and options. We always, always, always have options. But... is that the problem - you don't see your options? And, analyzing simply intensifies your helpless feeling? Yes, you have responsibilities. Yes, you have obligations. but Yes, you have options. However, to take the risk to analyze and then to risk to develop options and then to risk to act on your decision... is a big risk. But is there any other option to analyze? The decision is whether we're willing to pay the price of change or the price of staying with the status quo.
Change is a risk, is a potential problem. But not making a change is a risk, a potential problem. Both will cost you something but can you go on indefinitely only 'going through the motions'? Meaninglessness is really a high price to pay. And all the unhappiness you are experiencing becomes intensified when life holds little or no joy. Most of us can endure anything for a short time, but if it is the standard and you see no way out then sometimes being too busy is an armor, a weird protection.
If you delight in being too busy... why? What is happening for you that makes this a preferred lifestyle? Do you hear yourself saying things like: when I have time I'll... or, I'd love to do (fill in the blank) but I really don't have any free time... or, sounds like fun - I'll do it when there is more time. Reality says that the hoped for upcoming 'free time' never comes. Make the decision to look at what's asking to be considered and what's stopping you - is TOO busy dictating, what owns your life?
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Cheerleader
No, not the pom, pom thing. Perhaps I should have used the word - encourager instead. My point is - do you have someone in your life that's your cheerleader? A cheerleader, an encourager is someone who is supportive, who pats you on your back when you do something. And the pat on the back doesn't need to be for something outstanding, it can be for any reason.
An encourager is not someone who looks at you through rose colored glasses. They see and know your faults probably as well as you but they prefer to 'accent the positive'. They are typically always there with an encouraging word or some positive action. My Mom was my cheerleader and was always supportive, telling me I could do (whatever it was that I thought I wanted). The 'you can do it' attitude by others is typically a strong support about your own willingness to continue. However I would suggest that trust of the encourager is undoubtedly the most important attribute.
Are you a cheerleader? There are some requirements, conditions for you as an encourager. 1- Your behavior can't provide mixed messages - support one moment and criticism the next. Until asked, an encourager does not provide unsolicited comments. You encourage or you say nothing. 2- Your words of encouragement have to be 'real', genuine. What you say has to be believable. And 3- if you are an encourager, there has to be a basis in relationship. Simply saying 'good job' to someone who is only an acquaintance may be positive but if you are family or friends, the impact is greater.
Whether or not you have someone in your life that provides encouragement for you, are you/do you provide encouragement for others? Encouragement can't be off hand comments. You have to believe what you are saying. To encourage, according to Webster, means: to inspire with courage, spirit or hope. Listen to your words... does this define what you say?
An encourager is not someone who looks at you through rose colored glasses. They see and know your faults probably as well as you but they prefer to 'accent the positive'. They are typically always there with an encouraging word or some positive action. My Mom was my cheerleader and was always supportive, telling me I could do (whatever it was that I thought I wanted). The 'you can do it' attitude by others is typically a strong support about your own willingness to continue. However I would suggest that trust of the encourager is undoubtedly the most important attribute.
Are you a cheerleader? There are some requirements, conditions for you as an encourager. 1- Your behavior can't provide mixed messages - support one moment and criticism the next. Until asked, an encourager does not provide unsolicited comments. You encourage or you say nothing. 2- Your words of encouragement have to be 'real', genuine. What you say has to be believable. And 3- if you are an encourager, there has to be a basis in relationship. Simply saying 'good job' to someone who is only an acquaintance may be positive but if you are family or friends, the impact is greater.
Whether or not you have someone in your life that provides encouragement for you, are you/do you provide encouragement for others? Encouragement can't be off hand comments. You have to believe what you are saying. To encourage, according to Webster, means: to inspire with courage, spirit or hope. Listen to your words... does this define what you say?
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Temptation
Let's face it - we all are open to being tempted on some level in some area(s). None of us are impervious to temptation. The issue isn't the existence of temptation but what do we do when confronted with it. How do we respond to temptation? Do we capitulate and just give in to it, even when we know it will ultimately result in something unfortunate for ourselves? Do we stand fast? And what happens when we do give in?
If we stand fast - how do we respond then? With a large 'whew'? Falling for pride that we stood fast? Thankfulness to the Lord that He saw us through it? There is always, lurking, a new temptation. But it really is the initial reaction - do we overcome or are we being overcome by the temptation - that begins the cascade. Standing fast is a confidence builder that we have overcome - however... don't be fooled, most temptations will make a new attempt.
The part you must realize is that temptation is not an 'oops', not a mistake - we all know when we are giving in to the temptation but we proceed anyway. Sometimes we proceed somewhat sheepishly... or sneakily... but a temptation is always embraced. And there is no... 'I didn't realize...' Actually we do, we just don't want to acknowledge our actions. And once in the midst of temptation... what do we do?
There are 2 scriptures that, for me, speak to this problem we face - Hebrews 2:17-18 and 4:14-15. Hebrews tells us that fortunately we have a promise in that Jesus has been tempted in all the areas we are and still is without sin. And further that He ever lives to make intercession for us. Knowing that He understands, though not approving, gives great comfort. Then He tells us (4:16) to come boldly to the throne to find help. He always helps us through into overcoming.
If we stand fast - how do we respond then? With a large 'whew'? Falling for pride that we stood fast? Thankfulness to the Lord that He saw us through it? There is always, lurking, a new temptation. But it really is the initial reaction - do we overcome or are we being overcome by the temptation - that begins the cascade. Standing fast is a confidence builder that we have overcome - however... don't be fooled, most temptations will make a new attempt.
The part you must realize is that temptation is not an 'oops', not a mistake - we all know when we are giving in to the temptation but we proceed anyway. Sometimes we proceed somewhat sheepishly... or sneakily... but a temptation is always embraced. And there is no... 'I didn't realize...' Actually we do, we just don't want to acknowledge our actions. And once in the midst of temptation... what do we do?
There are 2 scriptures that, for me, speak to this problem we face - Hebrews 2:17-18 and 4:14-15. Hebrews tells us that fortunately we have a promise in that Jesus has been tempted in all the areas we are and still is without sin. And further that He ever lives to make intercession for us. Knowing that He understands, though not approving, gives great comfort. Then He tells us (4:16) to come boldly to the throne to find help. He always helps us through into overcoming.
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